Let Them

 It's the strangest darn thing. I went to bake an apple crisp last night. I just needed my 8 x 8 baking dish, since I was just making a small one for Tim. Much to my surprise, I no longer had an 8 x 8 baking dish. Also missing was my Wilton 9 x 13 cake pan. I really liked that pan! Good heavy duty thing that would last forever. 

Now, nobody walked into my house, rooted through my cupboards and swiped those two baking dishes. I knew right away what I did. I made a dish to pass, and did not get my dishes back. 

It's okay. I mean, I probably bought them at a thrift store at some point, so it wasn't the end of the world. But they were nice quality baking dishes. Today, I went thrifting to specifically look to replace those two pans. 

Of course, I found the replacements. A brand new Pyrex square pan and a cake pan, not as nice as my previous one, but perfectly fine. I also found a square laundry basket, a good one. It just needed cleaned up.  And a pair of shoes. I needed a black pair of casual shoes. While I was roaming through looking to see what else I didn't know I needed, I heard someone greet me, and looked down the aisle. 

There he came, his dreadlocks bouncing with every step, his gauged ears, his piercings, his tattoos, his head wrap. But don't be deceived by his appearance. He used to be a neighbor. The friendliest guy you could ever meet. The nicest guy you could ever meet. A devoted dad. He walked his little boy to the corner and waited for the head start bus every morning. He was waiting for him when the boy was dropped off. I know that he took great pride in his home. I know that he's affable, a talker. He's worked at the store for many years, and you never see him not busy. I mean, really, he's impossible not to like. 

So I greeted him back and asked him how it was going, and he said, "Not so great." 

That was a surprise. I don't think I've ever known him to have an off day. I waited. 

He said that his wife had left him. 

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said. 

And he said, "Just before Valentine's Day." 

"Ouch," I said. 

And he said, "Yeah. Even worse, she already has someone else." 

I tried to figure out some comforting thing to say, but he went on. "I just feel as if our years were a lie. Did she even ever love me? Probably not. Was she cheating on me right along? Maybe. I don't even know."

And he stood there looking at me miserably. 

I said, "You know, I've been reading something that I think applies here. Two words. 'Let them.' You can't change her. She's going to be what she is. So, let her. You can't change other people. So let them. You just be you." 

He said, "Let them..." In a considering sort of way.

I said, "Yep." 

He said, "That makes sense." He suddenly smiled and headed for the back room to get back to work. 

I continued looking just in case there was something else that I didn't know that I needed. You know, there's something honoring about having someone share a sorrow with you. I'm sure it is a huge paradigm shift for him. It can't be easy with a little boy involved. Like I said, he's a very devoted dad. 

I headed to the register. There was a line, but he stopped what he was doing and walked over to the other register. Cheerfully, he rang me up. When he was done, just the same as always, he said, "Have a good day," and I said, "You, too..." and he smiled ruefully. "Time wounds all heels," I said, heading for the door. His smile flashed in his beard. "Hey!" he called out after me, "I'm going to remember what you said: 'Let them.'" 

"Good for you!" I said. 

"Maybe I need a tattoo!" he said. 

It made me laugh. So did this: 

It was in the 40s today. The ice was soft enough that I felt that it was safe to go for a walk outside without risking further damage to my knee. That walk felt good. 

We are done with the good. Let's get right down to the bad and the ugly: 

And then there is this: this:https://www.newsweek.com/woman-forcibly-dragged-out-idaho-town-hall-what-we-know-so-far-2035129 But, let's end things on a high note, shall we?  https://www.yahoo.com/news/james-carville-makes-bold-prediction-223752694.html