The Dust Settles

As always, we are slowly moving past June 10th. We have both frozen our credit and taken care of the documentation for the stolen passports. We are wading through the insurance stuff. We will have to wait 30 days before the insurance company lists it as well and truly gone. 

It was a professional job. There is a professional network(s) at work. They utilize teenagers to steal the cars which are then driven to Quebec and loaded on a ship headed for west Africa. The number one target? Lexus RX models. (Number 2? Toyota Camry.)

As we slowly move through the morass of red tape associated with an event like this, little by little, life begins looking brighter. This is a survivable bump in the road, after all. 

Something that I have noticed is that Tim just expects that I will take care of the paperwork. He struggles with things like this. I understand why. I understand he can't help it. But the fact is, this stuff is stressful to me.

Something I have noticed is that he has become...um...demanding. Impatiently so. I am not the most patient person in the world, so I try to forgive that in him, but it has become increasingly difficult to ignore.

Yesterday we needed to go to the store. He needed his pop. He saw a rack of jeans on sale. We stopped to look. He did not find what he was looking for. 'Let's go,' he said. 

But they had a rack of tee-shirts marked down to a dollar and so I said, 'let me look through these...' He simply took off without me. 

My hearing is not so great and sometimes I don't hear him. If I ask him to repeat, he gets frustrated that I need to listen. But when I said that I was going to look at plants while he looked at deck stain and that I'd be right back, though he was looking right at me, when I came right back, he was no where to be found. I hadn't passed him between here and there. When I finally found him, he was irked. He couldn't hear me when I told him where I was going. "So why didn't you ask me to repeat myself?' He snapped, 'you need to speak up!'

A myriad of other frustrations. 'I will be back in 20 minutes and I want something to eat' is quite different from 'can you start supper?' 

An unexpected bill for $1400 that I was told would be covered by insurance wasn't. He is upset by that. He had been against the procedure, but it was important to me. In his mind, this was an unnecessary bill. I pointed out that he has just bought a tractor and spent $10,000. " 

Stupid stuff like me watching 'The Four Seasons". He didn't like it. Said all they do is talk. So we wound up watching "Yellowstone." Or when he is tired and just announces it is time for bed.or when I want to try ethnic food and he doesn't, why is it that we always wind up at Pizza Hut or McDonalds or Burger King?

All small and petty stuff. All of it, but it is just a stressful time for both of us and we both are snappier than usual.

This morning, I got up early to relax with my coffee. A few minutes later he came out. We have a tenant issue which he is upset about, and rightfully so. We have spent over $800 to snake out the sewer lines. This always happens of Friday afternoon, when we pay weekend fees for the plumber. It happened again. The other tenant in the house called to report. This time he said that he was told that the other tenant was flushing her cat litter when she did a full litter change on Friday. 

This required a direct discussion with the tenant, which upset her terribly. She has cognitive decline. We understand. I love that other tenants have gather about her to help her to continue to live independently. We will do our part too, of course. 

Tim and I discussed this this morning as I was trying to relax with my coffee and light blog reading. He wants to call her son and tell him she is not capable of living on her own. I think we have been very direct about it. She is upset. I think it may well not happen again. If it does, then we will rethink. This wait and see attitude made him mad.

Tim got snappish. "I am getting my shower and when I am done, you need to get yours. We have work to do." He decided that we were going to work on the old house before the protest. We already have a full schedule afterwards. We powerwashed a tenant's deck and today we are staining it. 

I said that he hadn't said anything about this. His response infuriated me. He said, "I didn't know what I would feel like doing."

I said, "How about what I feel like doing? Does that even matter anymore?"

 He glared and the floodgates opened. I yelled. He yelled. In the end, I said, "I am having a relaxing morning. It is the first time since we got home that we haven't had to hit the floor running. I am taking my morning. You feel like working, drive your truck to town."

And so he did.

I am sure this dust will settle too. 

Welp, Mrs Lincoln...

 ...other than that how did you like the play?

We had a very nice trip to Canada.

It ended early. Our car was stolen out of the hotel parking lot. The car was locked of course, but our passports were in the glove box. 

Also my favorite shoes were in the back.

Everyone has been kind and helpful. We are headed home now.

Now is later.

 We have not been to a protest for three weeks due to all the comings and goings, and a reception and family time. Tim said last night that we must go today. I agree. 

A funny thing happened this week. Tim had a serious craving for a banana split so we stopped at an ice cream place, pulling into a parking place next to a minivan with a VOTE! sticker on the window. The driver was waiting on her order, texting as she sat sideways in the driver seat, her feet sticking out the open car door. 

My initial impression was that she was a kindred soul, so I said, 'Not just 'vote' but vote blue!' and headed to the ice cream place. 

She shot out after me so fast that I initially thought I had misjudged. She wanted me to repeat myself. I did. The look on her face, people! She could not believe her ears, that I would just come out and say it. She is afraid to. 

I told her that she needed to find a group, that she wasn't the only one seeing it...more and more people are seeing it everyday. 'You can't see this as hopeless!' I said.

She agreed that it was changing, but was discouraged at how slowly it was happening. 

"Come protest with us! Find a group! You will be encouraged."

When her number was called, she got her food and passed by us. "Keep the faith, sister!" She smiled.

And I guess that is why we need to 'find our tribe'. That little exchange. It is too easy to fall into the hopeless thinking that we are the only ones who see what is happening as wrong. That the vast majority see nothing unusual about this at all. 

This is not true: It IS wrong. Most people DO see it. What we do with that knowledge is what separates us.

I am re-reading Elie Wiesel's 'Night'. What has struck me happens at the beginning of those terrible years. The Jews themselves tried to justify it, to normalize what was happening.

When the foreign Jews were loaded into trains to be deported, the Jews not taken comforted themselves: "It is not that bad. They were sent back to where they belonged." 

When Moishe Beadle escaped and came back to tell the story that all those people were forced to dig their own graves,  lined up at the edge of their grave and shot to death, his stories were dismissed as the stories of a crazy man.

As the government was replaced by pro Nazi officials, the same people told themselves that the Red Army was defeating Germany and that their authoritarian government would not last. 

When the Germans did march into town, they lodged with local families, even Jewish families. 'It is not that bad. They are behaving with courtesy.

When the synagogues were closed, they said 'It is okay...our Rabbis hold the services in their home'.

It went on and on. Jews could not own valuables. They buried them in their basement. 'We can survive this'. 

After all, the yellow stars did not kill them to wear.

Even the ghettos: 'We are together. We don't have to deal with the insults and cruelty of outsiders.'

And it went on and on, that normalization, the comforting. 'It's not that bad', except that it eventually did get 'that bad'.

Like Moishe Beadle, many of us are sounding the alarm. We are surrounded by people who dismiss all of it as 'it's not that bad. These people are crazy.'

In the end, I suppose, it comes down to this: we are all seeing the events of these days. Each one of us, even MAGA, sees things that should not be happening. The question becomes simple. What are we going to do with that knowledge? 

You are free 'to do you'. As for me and my house, we will 'do us'. That includes being vocal enough that if a doubter stands on the sidelines, they know who we are. Easier to find us.

It has been a quiet week. I have been earnestly weedwhacking, trying to bring this wildness to some semblance of order. Weeding flower beds, which to be fair, are two chaotic spaces where I tossed distressed plants bought on clearance last year. I figured that if they grew, I could sort them out and replant them later. Now is the 'later', I guess.

Monday, we head for our Canadian vacation. 

you know, I cannot post pictures right now. I have many things to show you. Right now, though, I need to get ready to protest.

...yet the magic remains

 It went too quickly. 

But it was chock full of special moments. One night, as we watched a movie to finish out the day, I caught my first glimpse of a firefly through the sliding glass doors.

There are no fireflies in England, so Cara immediately got up to go see. When she opened the door, one came straightaway inside to do lazy loops around the livingroom and kitchen, blinking on, blinking off.

The last Saturday of her visit, we arranged to meet her brother and the girls at the halfway point between our house and theirs, meaning they drove 2.5 hours west. We drove 2.5 hours east. We ended up at Bald Eagle state park. It was too chilly to spend a lot of time on the wonderful beach, but they had a great playground. We had a great cookout. We hiked the butterfly trail (there were frog eggs).

In an amazing coincidence, they had nature activities for the kids. They had booths set up to teach them how to cast a fishing rod and to identify fish. There was a woodcarver's display for bird identification. Another display of taxidermied birds to learn amazing bird facts. Native plants and seeds to give away. A chainsaw carver. A display of tanned animal hides for the kids to handle. 

Probably the most exciting thing was the 'nuisance bear'. He was trapped in a culvert bear trap. You can google this. I tried to post a picture, but cannot. It is baited with donuts. The bear walks in, the door closes behind him.  

The trap is hooked to a truck and hauled away. The bear is sedated. While the donut filled bear snoozes, he is tagged, a tooth pulled to determine his age, and a vial of blood taken to do a health screen. He is driven far out into the woods and released, hopefully never to return to populated areas again. 

The sedated bear slept right through the demonstration he was starring in. He continued to sleep as the most daring children petted him. When he showed signs of waking up, the door to the trap was closed and he was driven away to his new home.

So this was A. Very. Exciting. Day. My daughter in law had to work the previous night so she wasn't there. I made a joke about 'mama bear' would never put us in charge of her cubs again once she heard her 'baby' had petted a bear. My son was sure she already knew, probably awakened from a sound sleep by 'a disturbance in the force'. 

There were cookouts and easy laughter, sunny days and starry nights. Memories dusted off and related once again. 

And then it was time to drop her off at the airport.

We Gather.

 Time rushes by, doesn't it? 

Thursday, we drove to Buffalo and picked up my youngest daughter from the airport. The traffic was hairy, but the old folks did alright. 

Friday and Saturday rushed by in a flurry of activity. People coming in. Meet ups. Food prep. 

My youngest daughter spent the next 3 nights in town to maximize her time with nieces and nephew, and siblings too. 

The reception went well and was a pleasant celebration. I am sure glad we pushed so hard to make it happen indoors. It was 53° and raining. Not a day anyone wanted to sit in an outdoor pavillion. It was nice though, and a chance to meet my son in law's family. Being a merry prankster, he showed up in a shirt he had ordered special for the occasion. It said, "I am my mother in law's favorite child." (After the laughter died down, I offered to give him back. His family said there was a no return policy.)

I had bought the flowers from Mattie's greenhouse. She also made 5 dozen rolls and the girls churned butter for us. They were a huge hit. People were able to take the hanging baskets from their tables. Even still, I ended up with three baskets at my house. They really were just gorgeous.

As mentioned, I made 20 lbs of barbecued chicken, 20 lbs of garlic herb chicken and about 30 lbs of ham. To my relief, everything was very good. I am nervous about things like this because if there is to be a disaster of any sort, it will happen at an important day. I was a little more nervous than usual because the day had actually started out with a power outage.  I had three large roasters plugged in and everything blinked off. It was only for a few minutes, but oh, people! I nearly had a heartattack!

After the reception and the clean up/packing up, we were glad to get back to our little house and end the day relaxing...after dividing the left over meat up into single serve packages for the freezer and scrubbing out the roasters. 

Sunday, Tim went to church. I spent the morning getting ready for dinner here. The kids and their families and their dad were all coming here for an old family comfort food: homemade pepperoni rolls, or as my oldest granddaughter called it, 'inside out pizza'. 11 for dinner.

Because the day was not busy enough, I found a find. Someone I knew was selling an old fashioned oak table, 3 feet wide, 6 feet long. I knew it was perfect for our kitchen space. It was 40 min away. Tim grumbled, but as soon as he got home from church, I left my dough to rise and we headed off with the truck. For all of Tim's grumbling, he fell in love just as soon as he saw it. It is Amish made and extremely heavy. 

We got that home, the old enamel table to the basement. It will double the work area at the meat cutting station. The new table went in, and I was rolling out dough on it when people walked in the door. We don't have a lot of counter space and this was a beautifully functional addition.

Monday morning started with a huge breakfast send off at my sister's. I made a strata. She made a breakfast casserole and monkey bread. Fresh fruit and plenty of coffee, juice and milk completed that. 15 at the table that morning. We said our goodbyes there and Dylan and his family left for home.

Cara is now sleeping here. She is a very avid 'rambler' and belongs to a club back in the UK. She does 15 mile rambles and thinks nothing of it. We have walked over 20 miles in 3 days at Oil Creek Park. They have 35 miles of trails, but some of those trails were little more than deer paths, literally. We were walking on steep paths with sheer drops. She may have thought nothing of this, but it was challenging for Tim and I. We got it done, I am proud to say. Yesterday was 7.2 miles.

It is an off day for walking. Cara has business to take care of before she heads back home. Tim is chauffeuring. I am going to get my garden beds planted this morning. This afternoon, I am making homemade pizza. My sister and Cara and I will play a ruthless game of scrabble after.

Tomorrow is Friday already. Cara will spend the afternoon at my nephew's house. We will meet up with Dylan and the girls on Saturday at Bald Eagle Park which is almost precisely half way between our house and theirs. We will have a picnic and go hiking once more. 

We watched three good movies here in the evenings. Remarkably Bright Creatures. Thursday Murder Club. Grandma. Light and enjoyable.

We will be driving Cara back to Buffalo airport Monday morning. I am trying to hold on to these precious days but they trickle through my fingers like water.

Crazy

 We have been busy here. I finished my last day working on the old house for the next couple weeks. The day after tomorrow  we will be driving to the Buffalo Airport to pick up my youngest. Friday night my son and his wife and my granddaughters will be coming. I plan to savor this. Tim can do as he wants.

Saturday is the wedding reception for my oldest and her husband. They got married late last fall in a small  ceremony, delaying the celebration until the weather was a bit more predictable. This is also a long weekend which allows more out of towners to get in.

You know. Things like this stress me out. I have my agenda. Thursday: airport. Friday. Pick up produce order. On the way home, pick up four roasters. We will thaw 40 pounds of chicken breast and 30 pounds of ham. Saturday, we cook that meat. 20 lbs will be BBQ. 20 lbs will be lemon pepper. I will make the salad. I need to drive up to Mattie's to pick up the rolls and a pound of churned butter. Also to pick up 8 planters of flowers for the tables from her greenhouse.

 My sister gave me a load of manure for my birthday. I told her I don't take shit from anybody but her. We shoveled manure and blabbed. It feels like forever since we have had time to just visit. They are pretty busy too, demo'ing a house on their side of the road. Today I planted my onions, peppers and tomatoes.

So...it has been a bit crazy at my house.

It has also been crazy outside our house. We had two police shootings in 3 days. I mean, we live in the middle of nowhere. To have two separate shootings within 20 miles of us is crazy. Today an 18 year old stabbed his father. A man was sitting outside with his dog. A bear showed up and took a swipe at the dog. Also in that 20 mile circle.

Outside that 20 mile radius, it is even crazier. 1.7 billion dollar slush fund for trump allies. The IRS cannot investigate any of the trumps for tax evasion.  Trump claims he was within an hour of resuming attacks on Iran but has called them off because he was asked nicely. 

There is just too much crazy right now.

 .

If I don't laugh...

Gees...sorry about the spam comments on the last post. Miss a few days of blogging and those guys sneak right in there, don't they? I hope no one contacted those pesky faith healers with strange names who can cure breast cancer. We don't need them. 

Our president claims:

"We've taken people that were dead. We had a person given the last rites -- gone, the kids are crying and everything -- and started them on this drug. And the person became better. It works."

Of corse this miracle drug is not named and no one has left their death bed to testify to this miracle. 

It doesn't matter, people will still flock to the golden idol to pray.

https://youtu.be/tdcJ85PQw90?si=38PFfTTrWrI0uDfT

Sorry for going silent. It is a busy time. My daughter is flying home this month. I am planning a small wedding reception for my daughter and her husband. My son and his family will be coming home.

After this is done, we have a trip that will take us up into Canada for a week.

In the midst of this, because Tim cannot and will not wait, we are  clearing out the old house to put on the market. 

It is a crazy time, but no matter how crazy it gets, it is crazier in Washington. This is not comforting.

We have had two hard frosts in the last two days. It dropped to 25° two days ago. Will summer ever get (and stay) here.

Posting may be light for the month of May. Ignore the spam. Don't contact any African faith healers. Ask for the revival/Lazarus drugs instead.