Unable to put the pieces together, I guess that I went to pieces a bit myself. My fear all came to a head last night. Tim's response to everything was, "Well, we have to have more answers to our questions." Me: "What are YOUR questions?" Him: "I don't know...." A very short time later, there was snoring from his side of the bed. (In my next life, I want to be a man, I swear to you.)
I got myself out of bed and came into the office to sit down at the computer. I spent a few hours googling into the dark until finally, finally, I found the answers that I was looking for in plain layman's language. The pieces began to come together. After having a careful read, the message was clear. Although Tim has some risk factors that bear watching, in the end, his chances of not having a recurrence are far greater than his having one.
That's all I really needed to know. I just needed the risk quantified, and finding it was a huge relief. I had a good relaxing cry in the dark and then took myself back to bed.
Tim's new crossbow arrives today, and he's quite excited about this. Someone needs to be home to sign for it, and so we will spend a quiet day at home waiting for his package. I need a quiet day at home just as badly as Tim needs his new crossbow. A limb broke on his old one, and the company that makes his brand has gone out of business, probably going bankrupt for replacing broken limbs on their product. I guess people (wives?) aren't the only thing going to pieces in this house.
He's decided that he wants Pizza Hut Pizza for supper. This came around out of left field, so I'm not even cooking supper tonight. A piece of pizza fits right in with the theme, doesn't it? I have done AC proud!
Thanks for the news, it was good to hear. Have a restful day at home.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ellie.
DeleteWe had home made pizza last night with green chilli peppers on my half. It was very good.
ReplyDeleteSausage or pepperoni?
DeleteSome pieces of the puzzle are very hard to put together and also it's difficult to find the pieces. Good that you have found some info that satisfies you.
ReplyDeleteIn this case, I struggled.
DeleteSome days pizza is just right.
ReplyDeleteYou are right.
DeleteDoctors hate us finding out our own answers to our questions via "Dr. Google", but when the doctors won't give us answers, what the hell do they expect us to do ... just accept whatever?!? I try to rely on the Mayo Clinic web pages for most answers rather then WebMD.
ReplyDeleteI was reading scientific studies from Johns Hopkins and Harvard and the like. I agree. Tim is reading shit from a site that swears that if all of us drank lemon juice and sugar did not exist, there would be no cancer.
ReplyDeleteGood to hear that you have tried so hard and indeed quite successfully to get everything into proper perspective.
ReplyDeletePerspective is everything.
DeleteWell done on the research. It is high time many in the medical profession realised that it is our bodies they are dealing with and we need explanations...not necessarily simplified...but in plain understandable language.
ReplyDeleteI really do think that had I heard the word earlier, I'd have been reading about it earlier, and I'd have been able to ask the proper questions right in the office. Hearing a new word while you're in the doctor's office throws everything off. I asked about what it was. I didn't understand its impact until later.
DeleteThat sounds positive. I have to say that my consultant does tell it simply, e.g., when he was telling us about the scan results in March, I said well that sounds as if I'll still be here at Christmas, he simply replied that it was odds on that I could be. Didn't really need to know anything else at that point.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that the doctor did really explain it well, but I did not understand the word or its negative implications. Once I got home and started reading, the dawn slowly broke. Then I had questions and no one to ask.
DeletePS: I vote that we all raise a toast to Tasker at Christmas. I know that I will, my friend. I truly will.
DeleteMe too.
DeleteTo Tasker and his consultant
Delete+1
DeleteThank you. I'm not planning on going anywhere yet so long as the £7,000 per month pills from Merck (Tepotinib) keep working, which fortunately I don't have to fund myself.
DeleteSo glad you figured out that things are not dire. I know how scared you must have been.
ReplyDeleteI hear you about wanting to be a man in your next lifetime. I mean, I don't really want to be one but I wouldn't mind being more like one in some ways.
How much worrying can a worrier do if a worrier has a worry? If they are me, the answer seems to be infinite.
DeleteWill Tim be allowed to use his new crossbow as long as you set it for him? (I'm not sure I'd be strong enough!) Maybe your crossbow season has already ended...
ReplyDeleteIt has a crank which reduces the resistance by 93%.
DeletePS: We have one more week of cross bow. I'm not sure that he'll hunt with it, but he'll play with it which will keep him occupied.
DeleteDebby, I'm glad for your good news as well, but I feel guilty for my chuckle at Tim's response to you in bed! Anyway, the crossbow sounds exciting and dammit now I want Pizza Hut too. 😋
ReplyDeleteYou would, being a man and all.
DeleteHaha! 😆
DeleteI am not even sure if Pizza Hut still exists in my town! I remember when they were endemic! I know what you mean about a word that, when googled, can be very alarming and just wanting some reassurance. Unfortunately everything (including support groups) have all said things in one direction and I am still waiting on the specialist to call me back on it. At least mine isn't a "be here this Christmas" but rather more of a long-term vision issue.
ReplyDeleteOurs has been remodeled but I don't know that it is hopping.
Delete"I'm a man, and I can change, if I have to... I guess." But saying that, I probably won't at this age. My wife is always annoyed at me for not worrying about the same things that worry her.
ReplyDeleteIf you guys could even just pretend you were concerned, it would make things easier.
DeleteGoooood gosh, Debby. I am so sorry for all you went through and actually are still going through. I wish your doctor had called to explain all the medical jargons. I would have sent off a message to my doctor saying, "What?!? Please explain!"
ReplyDeleteI was getting my thoughts together, use the weekend to get my questions together in a coherent fashion and then message him.
DeleteWhew! First of all, stay out of range of the new crossbow while Tim is reading the instructions! Keep writing your questions down for the next doc appointment, or make another appointment to have things re-explained. Most people do take hearing the same medical stuff 3 times before it starts to make any sense. Some offices have a "patient navigator" or Nurse Practitioner who can re-explain stuff and help you with future plans. My town has an old Pizza Hut building; I'm not sure anyone eats inside anymore. Mayo and WebMD are the best starting spots for med info, not the lemonade guys. Hang in there! Linda in Kansas
ReplyDeleteIt is not his first crossbow. He knows what he is doing, but I am not letting him shoot an apple off my head. It takes us both time to process and to be honest, Tim sometimes sits back and trusts that I will explain it to him later. The doctor would have answered any questions, and I did have some. The big ones did not occur to me until after I did some reading. We both like him and think he is direct and honest.
DeleteMedical staff really need to refer patients to reliable websites with easy to understand information. No one can take in everything that is being said and without a proper explanation when consulting, this can cause great alarm, as you well know now.
ReplyDeleteI think you may be entitled to an afternoon nap after being awake half the night.
I thought I would need a nap, but I didn't.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you found the info you needed in plain language. Thank God for Google, seriously. Yep, you can go down the rabbit hole for sure, and there's a ton of MIS-information out there. But careful reading and vetting of sources is how you get around that. It all takes time, though. Yeesh.
ReplyDeleteI burned the midnight oil on this one, for sure. Once you know that your husband's risk is quintupled, that is terrifying. In the end, once I was able to put numbers to that, his risk went from 2.6% to 13%. To be fair, if I had understood what I was reading, I'd have known that sooner. But until I saw those numbers explained in a way that I could understand, all I knew was that he had a much greater risk.
DeleteThere could be piece of pizza song something along the lines of a spoonful of sugar.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we should have pizza tonight. Oops, I remember that I have meat thawed and ready to become a meatloaf. I usually make one every month or two.
I can tell you that, unlike Tim, I do not fall asleep at the drop of a hat. But I can also say that I tend not to worry as much as Sue does. She is also usually the one to ferret out the information about meds and things. But not always.
Tim has come through quite a number of sleepless nights. We've found that magnesium has helped his problem a great deal.
Delete'A very short time later, there was snoring from his side of the bed. (In my next life, I want to be a man, I swear to you.)
Delete'
This made me laugh out loud. I wouldn't rather be a man in my next life (do I have to have a next one? heh heh. not sure I want that either), but it must be nice to fall asleep quickly like they so often seem to.
His problem is that while he may fall asleep quickly, he doesn't stay asleep.
DeleteAh yes, to be a man in the next life! You speak true words. But good on you, Debby, for diving in and finding answers. It had to be terrifying not to know.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm glad you got some answers. For what it's worth, I'm a man, and I'm also prone to lying awake worrying! Dave can sleep through anything, though.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, I can understand your horror and worry about not understanding the technical medical report, but well done you for getting it in laymen's terms, so you could sleep. As for Tim - I know, men seem to have a whole different angle on things! Such a relief to hear that the answers weren't the awful ones you feared.
ReplyDelete