Monday, June 21, 2021

Our Differences

 Tim said, "Hey, did you happen to see two keys on a ring?" 

I asked a few questions and determined that in fact I had not happened to see them. 

Tim said, "I know I put them someplace. I just can't remember where." He got a pondering look on his face. 

I said, "What did they go to?" and he answered "The garage." 

I was aghast. If we can't get into the garage at the retirement property that's a bit of a pickle. He just installed new latches so that the garage doors can only be opened from the inside. The keys were to the man door. The only way into the garage from the outside.

It it were me, I'd have been upset and trying to retrace my steps and searching the pockets of everything I had worn. I said, "When did you have them last?"

He said, "Oh, a week or so."

A week or so?!!!! My gosh, they could be well and truly lost. I started listing places they could be. He said, "I checked there" and "I already thought of that". 

I began hunting around, and the longer that I didn't find them, the more concerned I got. 

Tim, on the other hand, was completely calm. "They'll turn up," he said, unperturbed. "I know I put them someplace. I just can't remember where." 

The man is unflappable, really. Stuff like that bothers me. I hate to feel stupid and misplacing things makes me feel stupid. (Side note: I often feel stupid.)

Today, we went up to the retirement property. We worked independently on our different projects: I was nurturing plants in the garden, and he was hacking down brush behind the old house. I finished with my stuff first, and began to look around for those keys. We've been married for long enough that I know this fact about him...when he says that he looked in a specific place, this does not necessarily mean that what he's looking for isn't there. So I looked around and lo, I found the keys. 

Later, when we were closing up to come home, he came walking up the driveway. I walked down to meet him and held up the keys. He grinned. "Where'd you find those?" he asked. I told him. 

"Huh. I don't remember putting them there," he said. 

So he put them in a new place and I made him tell me where they were. Between the two of us, we'll probably be able to remember. If, perchance, we forget, the one thing I know is that I'll be fussing as I hunt. He'll be cool as a cucumber, and assuring me that they'll turn up. 

Driving home, hot and sweaty and grimey, Tim said, "We'll just stop for a pizza," which was fine by me. My plan was to head directly for a shower. Feeling magnanimous, I say, "I won't make you watch an episode of Downton Abbey, how's that?" 

And Tim shrugged, "I just wouldn't watch it. But it is a little more interesting now that the war has started."

I sighed. We have our differences. 


  1. Ha, ha, that all sounds very familiar.

  2. For me if I write something down, like say where keys should be, or an address to visit, the very act of writing keeps things in my memory and I don't need to save the piece of paper. So, I would just write down the new place for the keys, and then throw the piece of paper away.

  3. My husband is always losing things, or misplacing them and I am the one who usually finds them. I put my head in my hands when he tells me he's lost his wallet, his 'phone, his keys - so it goes on.

  4. It really really bothers Sue to lose something, but she's also pretty good at finding them again. I have been known to call her Womb Tracker, for women seem to be much better at this.

  5. I hope after we leave this earth, all the things I've placed someplace where I'll remember and then forgotten about will be revealed.

  6. The number of times that things turn up when you decide to stop looking..then they turn up, generally where you've already looked as if to say "I'm here!"...things hide I am certain!!

  7. Only the names are changed in your story or it could be us. I just do not worry. Somebody else frets 100% of the time.

  8. I'm glad you found the keys. I stress about stuff like that, too, and would compulsively search until they were located.

  9. I like Tim's approach. I wish I could be more like that. Unfortunately I'm more a I-NEED-TO-FIND-THEM-NOW type!

    I always try to put my house keys in the same place on the hall table, and yet, you'd be surprised how often I look and they're not there. Argh!

  10. I try my best not to tell my spouse when I’ve lost something, so as not to bother her with it. But when I’m desperate, I’ll tell her, and she either finds it or goes into find-it mode for at least 24 hours.


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