I'm not sure what will happen. I'm not sure he can get an appointment with another oncologist that quickly, but he wants to make sure that there are not some less radical options.
I understand it. I do. But it is a terrifying thing to think that it took us three months to get an appointment for this surgery, which is scheduled for the 27th. What if the second opinion agrees with the first? Will he have to wait 3 more months to get that surgery rescheduled?
I don't know. I've got an awful lot of questions right now and not one of them has answers.
The only thing that I do know for sure is that Tim has every right to look at every option, to get every question answered. If it were me, I'd feel the same way.
But.
Oh my god.
I'd be a liar if I said this did not scare me to death.
I guess it's not surprising Tim wants a second opinion. I just wish it didn't so long to get appointments for you.
ReplyDeleteIt isn't surprising. I just wish that he had voiced that before now. I wish I would have suggested it early on.
DeleteIf wishes were horses, then beggars would ride.
Good gosh. I completely understand Tim's feelings here, and I completely understand yours. Let's just pray the second opinion confirms the first, and soon.
ReplyDeleteThe 'soon' part is what I'm worried about. But. It is not my decision.
DeleteWith your input, it's Tim's decision. Do your best to help hin.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. I've swallowed my own misgivings and told him that I am afraid, but I understand, and that he has every right to have all his questions answered. I'd expect no less from him if the tables were turned.
DeleteOh boy. That's a tough one. Best wishes to you both as you navigate these murky waters.
ReplyDeleteIt IS a tough one, but ultimately, the decisions are his to make. I've told him what scares me. I know he has weighed it into his decision.
DeleteCould you guys go further afield to get a 2nd opinion sooner? Or maybe your current provider would let him postpone the surgery for a few weeks while Tim explores options? So hard…. Wishing you both the best…
ReplyDeleteThe problem is that you need a referral to see a specialist. You can't just call up and request an appointment. That is what the family doctor will do on Monday, hopefully.
DeleteI'm afraid I don't have any helpful insight or advice; I can only wish you both all the best and hope that the situation can be quickly resolved.
ReplyDeleteMe too.
DeleteIf the second opinion reinforces the first...no need to postpone. Especially if the problem has been described as "aggressive".
ReplyDeleteYou have to back him. Mine is refusing the op that would be radical, but remove the pain....I am just feeding him information as is our District Nurse and Specialist Nurse, and GP....
The problem is that it cam take a month to get in to see a specialist.
DeleteNo easy answers here. I hope you don't have to wait too long and miss the opportunity to get the op if it turns out to be Tim's decision to go ahead.
ReplyDeleteWe shall see what happens. I've got a few questions myself at this point.
DeleteSensible answers from everyone already. I hope Tim isn't just shying away from the op - he should have sought a 2nd opinion straight away after the other one - in an ideal world that is. No easy solution to this, but I hope that it all works out for the best.
ReplyDeleteI think in all the kerfuffle, it never occurred to us.
DeleteFingers crossed. Best wishes for Monday.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Dave.
DeleteI appreciate your dilemma Debby. I am in a similar position that I will most probably have to make a decision soon - but having discussed it with my son luckily we both feel the same. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteYou approach everything so sensibly and with such grace. My thoughts are with you.
DeleteI learned with mom that cancer affects the entire family, not just one person. My thoughts are with you both.
ReplyDeleteI know that you 'get it'.
DeleteHe's left it a bit late. Hopefully, IMO at least, the fam doc will reassure him.
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping she can fast track things. I don't know.
DeleteYour family doctor will give you the pros and cons of seeking a second opinion especially if the surgery is routine. It’s hard to put your faith and trust in a professional, or anyone when so much is at steak. It helps to do your own research and then decide. Ultimately, the patient has to trust their doctors. It’s a personal decision for sure. Blessings to you both.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing routine about the surgery. I think that you are right. The patient needs to trust their doctor, but having dealt with cancer myself, I know that you have to be your own advocate at times.
DeleteThis is just one hell of a situation, isn't it? No real easy, absolutely correct path. Of course I've never met Tim but from the way you write about him, he is a man who does not make decisions lightly and if he's made up his mind to go this route, that's what he will do. I know you're scared. I would be terrified.
ReplyDeleteIf the situation was reversed, I know what I'd expect from him. I'm trying to give him that.
DeleteSorry to hear the postponement of surgery...but definitely good reasoning behind it. Making life and death decisions isn't something our lives are faced with everyday, and unlike those who do, we aren't as easily prepared, don't have our mental or emotional capacity to approach them and quickly decide which path to take. I'm glad to hear your support of Tim making his own decision on this. But it's hard for you both! Thoughts are with you.
ReplyDeleteIt's a different look for patient and supporters. It's difficult for both but very different.
ReplyDeleteCan Tim tell you why he is so afraid of the surgery? Is it the surgery itself? The aftereffects? The cancer? All of it?
ReplyDeleteI doubt a second opinion will be any different, sadly, and he will have delayed the inevitable, putting himself at further risk. It's not easy being supportive.
Hopefully, his family doctor will have some good advice for him (and you). Wishing you both the best.
ReplyDeleteI can understand his desire for another opinion, but I understand your anxiety too! If it were me, I think I might conclude that it's too late to go that route now, but it's hard to say.
ReplyDeleteAsk Tims doctor to make the appointment if he wants one. Sometimes doctors get these things done easier and faster.
ReplyDelete