Walter's Mother

 I couldn't stand to think about Chris. I didn't know his situation at all. I wondered if he had someone at home who had his back. Or was he a kid from a chaotic family who would wind up getting lost in the shuffle, being bullied day in and day out, suffering in silence. 

I couldn't stand the thought of it, so I went to facebook and posted a post.

There is a kid named Chris who attends Beaty. He was being pestered by a kid today. When he told the kid to leave him alone or he would tell the teacher, the kid slapped his face and knocked his glasses off. All parents with a kid named Chris, please talk to your kid tonight.

I talked to ours. The conversation went like this: "Did he tell the teacher?"

Answer: "Well, the kid slapped his face and told him not to!"

Me: "So the bully won."

Grandson: "Well...."

I said, "Did you tell a teacher?"

Hung head.

Me: "You NEVER witness someone being assaulted and not do something about it. You always tell. ALWAYS."

Last year at the end of the school year, we heard all sorts of reports about the behavior of kids. Looks like it is starting out to be much the same.

IF YOU HAVE A KID NAMED CHRIS, OR IF YOU KNOW A KID NAMED CHRIS WHO WEARS GLASSES AND IS PROBABLY IN 7TH GRADE AT BEATY, HE NEEDS YOUR HELP.''

I was very surprised when that post was shared many times. Maaaaany times. 

I received a private message from Chris' mom the following evening. She had no clue and was grateful to know. The bullying had been relentless since the beginning of school and she had no idea it was even happening. 

We talked. 

This morning there were new comments from three of Walter's friends, all of them insisting that there was more to the story. 

I responded with: 

"Step out and let the adults handle this. Your friend has no right to put his hands on any student in that school. If you don't understand that, you'll find yourself learning the same lesson the hard way. You're also giving the school a nice start to a list of who they need to be keeping an eye on. It doesn't matter what happened, there are right ways and wrong ways to handle things. Your buddy handled things the wrong way. There are consequences for that."

Much to my surprise, one of the kids responded that perhaps I was right.

I gave him an 'atta boy!' for that.

The post went to the school superintendent, and then to the principal. The police are involved. The mother is not pressing charges, but wants to be sure that the boy understands that this is unacceptable behavior and if it happens again, there is proof that this has been explained to him. 

Mostly what I was pleased to see was a good round table discussion on how to empower kids to step up and to speak up if they witness bullying. Parents were having those talks with their kids. The school was involved. Someone thanked me for bringing the issue to the masses. "It takes a village!" she commented. It does. We all need to be looking out for our kids. 

Along came mama. "Look I am that child's mother how about you grow up Debby and get a life you want to talk about bullies about look in the mirror the story was taken water out of proportion and everything now back off"

Explains a lot, doesn't it? 

I didn't respond to her. I wanted to choose my words carefully, being mindful of the fact that I'd had a productive conversation with a seventh grader already. All those responses from parents talking to their children, addressing the topic. All very encouraging to me. All I had to do was respond from my head, not fly off with some knee jerk response. 

I did comment that the poster who commented that 'It takes a village' was right. I also commented that if the comments were read, we would all plainly see why the village school was struggling. Not everyone wanted to be a part of that village. 

That was all. 

The other parents did not let her off so easily, calling her out by name, and pointing out her contribution to this problem. 

Walter's mother disabled her facebook.