Weight and See

When you are eating healthy and steadily losing weight, it is very soul satisfying to step on the scale and discover that you've achieved a milestone. Today, once again, I got up and discovered myself to be closer but still not quite under that. Just ounces away...but not there. 

A1C is at fault for this big change. 

The doctor is pushing hard to begin medication. When they call, they always push for that. "The doctor has reviewed your numbers and she wants..." and I always say, "Listen, I am not trying to be recalcitrant here but the thing is, I want to try to lower things naturally." They always try to say, "Everyone who takes this loses weight..." as if that is going to lure me over to the dark side. They talk about damage to organs, kidneys and eyes mostly. 

My A1C was never a problem until my knee made exercising more and more difficult. Right now, I am managing only a third of the steps I used to do. So. While I can't exercise more, I can watch my diet. 

Reading carefully about things, I begin my day with a high protein breakfast. Two hard boiled eggs, one avocado, one slice of wheat bread slathered with peanut butter, and plain yogurt with blueberries along with my coffee. That's what the diabetic diets all have in common - a high protein breakfast. 

While that sounds like a huge breakfast (and if feels like a huge breakfast), what it does is holds me comfortably until supper. I skip lunch all together, which is supposedly a big no no, but it seems to be working for me. Supper is a huge salad. That holds me until morning. 

When I went in for my last appointment, they were quite surprised at the weight loss. The nurse called it a 'significant' weight loss and noted that on my chart. I felt as if I had made my point, that they would see that I am dead serious about making this change. 

I continued on with my new healthy diet, and keeping myself just as active as possible given the knee situation. 

But when I took my glucose readings in, again, I got the call. "The doctor has reviewed your numbers and..." 

And I said very plainly, "No. I think I have demonstrated a strong willingness to change my lifestyle. I've got an A1C test coming up in April. I've got a knee replacement in May. We are going to see how those things shake out and then we will talk about whether medication is needed. I think it is fair." 

They are not happy with me. 

I feel badly about it, but I'm also seeing amazing things happen. I've dropped a pant size. Two pretty shirts that I bought last year were a bit too snug. This year they fit perfectly. Tim says he can see the weight loss. No one else has commented on it, so I can't tell if he's just saying that to be nice. But...I have lost a pant size. My old favorite jeans are now my 'work pants' and I wear them with a belt. So...maybe he can tell. Maybe the rest of the world just doesn't watch my ass the way he does. Dunno. 

My next doctor visit is April 3rd. If the nurse called my last weight loss 'significant', she will be happier yet with this one. This weight loss is greater than the last. 

 I always make Tim a supper, but I stick to my salad. He wanders out into the livingroom after supper eating a bag of potato chips. Or a ding dong. Or a bowl of ice cream. Sometimes he walks down to the Tim Horton's to get a donut. Sometimes he does multiple things. Sometimes multiple times. All in the same night. (This proves to me that life is not fair.)

I have been surprisingly untempted by this. Not sure why. But a couple nights ago, he was eating chocolate. The bag was on the coffee table, and every so often he helped himself. I was finishing a book and I found myself craving a chocolate. 

Just one. 

One wasn't going to kill me, right? 

So, I had one.

And then...I discovered that it wasn't nearly as good as I thought it would be, which was very interesting.

I'm not sure where all this is headed, and I'm anxious to get that next A1C. If nothing more, the new weight loss should prove to them that I mean business. By the time that appointment rolls around, surely, surely I will have ducked under that milestone weight. 

I really hate feeling like I'm a problem patient, but really, inside me there's this determination to avoid medication if I don't have to take it. 

I think that is fair.