It is a clear sunny day today.
Houdi continues to mend well, and he is still outraged by the fact that he is being kept inside.
Tim's out and about running little errands to occupy himself. It is cold today and not a good day to work on the house. It should be warmer midweek.
A local scandal here has been in my thinking. A politician has been accused of indecent assault. He has been married for over 40 years. He has a grown daughter and at least one grandchild. The accusations are just that: accusations. What I know, on a personal level is that he's always been provocative and familiar and given to making comments to women. At the time that I worked in a factory where he was a 'big shot', he was wildly flirtatious. What I know is that a lot of the women he flirted with flirted right back, and thought the banter was great fun.
The factory is gone now, and he wound up elected to a presigious position within the community. He comes from a prominent local family and his name is known.
Life rolled along, and at some point, things began to change. His behavior at that factory would be frowned upon today. Actionable in a court of law. The proof of that is plain to see. We read about it virtually every day.
He is an educated man. I never really knew him well enough to judge how smart he was, but did he simply not notice that things are different? Or did enough women respond to his flirting and teasing that he felt safe, that he'd never be reported, that his attentions were flattering? Did he get old enough (and the women get young enough) that at some point he became a dirty old man?
I don't know, but I cannot help but think about a man who has, as he prepares to move into retirement, found himself enmeshed in scandal, hurt the people who love him most, and dragged his name and reputation through the mud.
It's just a thing that I can't seem to stop thinking about.
Gz wrote a blog post about 'that Swedish store' last week, that she and Pirate had gone for a gander. I want to buy my kitchen sink from IKEA, a Boviggen apron front sink.
We have our cabinets already. And we're pretty certain what we are doing for counter tops (hint: we're not using counter top) but I mentioned to Tim that the cool thing about Ikea is that they design things for small places and that they have rooms set up so that you can wander around and get ideas. The nearest IKEA is outside Pittsburgh, about 2 1/2 hours away.
Much to my surprise, he said, "We should go take a look someday," and in my mind, 'someday' meant a distant unfixed time in the future. Imagine my surprise that we are going tomorrow!
I'm looking very forward to the trip, even though I am very disappointed in them for never reaching out to Steve for his heroics in the saga of the IKEA shopping cart. I emailed them, sending a short synopsis along with the blog link, and saying that it might be nice if they reached out to him. They didn't.
William had a fine birthday. We stayed up late watching a streamed 'documentary' about paranormal activity that may or may not have scared the mess out of him. I pointed out some obviously fake ones, and he quickly explained to me how the effect could easily be recreated. All the same, he decided to sleep downstairs last night, obstensibly because it was warmer and he liked to watch the wood fire flickering in the dark. That and the fact that Houdi slept on his chest for most of the night.
Still amazes me that he's 13. It also amazes me that he seems to have suddenly begun to shoot up in height. I am sure that more amazing things are in store.
Both Steve and Gz have partners having surgery tomorrow. Stop over to extend your good wishes, why don't you?
Neat looking sink. Have fun driving to look at stuff, and I've heard the Sweedish meatballs are pretty good at IKEA...though I think I had something else when I visited the one in Tampa with relations.
ReplyDeleteTim has never been to an IKEA. I am curious what he thinks of it.
DeleteThankyou Debby❤️
ReplyDeleteI like that sink...in my house in South Wales I had a "Belfast" sink...the most useful style of sink, better than the small pressed steel ones. (A double one is a Dublin sink...I didn't have room for one of those !!)
I would love to strip out and redesign the kitchen here. Getting the kiln going has priority though, especially as we only rent the house
You and Pirate are in my thoughts right now.
DeleteI have pondered the intelligence of many a man these days who continue to do things like that. The only solution I can come up with is that they generally feel they are above everyone else and so are immune to getting caught, or at least charged with such things until it is too late.
ReplyDeleteIt is just so strange to me that he was literally weeks from retirement.
DeleteSome men just can't seem to help themselves - they flatter themselves that silly women reacting positively to their flirting equals a commitment to 'other things'. There's an old saying, there's no fool like an old fool . . .
ReplyDeleteGlad that Houdi is on the mend. As for the flying saucers, my late ma-in-law (an intelligent woman inmost respects) truly believed that there were such things and insisted on having curtains at her bedroom window the first time she visited (whilst we were still getting gradually ship-shape) as she thought she might be seen by 'them' if they passed by in the night, and taken up and experimented upon! So William choosing to sleep downstairs would have understood her worries perfectly, bless him :)
He loves the idea of It is, and we did watch a stretch of those. Some were explained as natural phenomenon. Some were very suspicious. Some raised questions. The videos that made him a little bug eyed were the ghost/haunting ones. He pooh-poohed any suggestion that they might be too much.he is a teenager, for heaven's sake!
DeleteAn acquaintance of ours fancied himself as a bit of a "Ladies' Man" and continued with his off colour remarks and approaches until well into his eighties. After his death his wife confided in me that he had conducted a string of affairs throughout their 50 year marriage. I would have booted him out long ago.
ReplyDeleteIt always amazes me that there ARE women who respond to this sort of stuff. That poor woman!
DeleteI knew a man who absolutely made every women he met feel beautiful. He was somehow able to speak in such a respectful, non-threatening way that his words of admiration rang true. Does that make sense? One never felt that he was trying to make a move. Just recognizing the beauty he saw in women.
ReplyDeleteMost men do not have that ability. Most men who are of the sort you describe are desperately seeking attention and if it is sexual attention, all the better. I have found myself returning banter, back in the old days, but often because I was so uncomfortable and I didn't quite know how to respond. Women didn't even realize that it was okay to tell a man that he was being inappropriate. I am glad times have changed. At least a little bit. I think women are still afraid to set a guy straight in many situations.
It sounds to me as if these accusations have been a long time coming. I could, of course, be wrong.
Tim does like to shop, doesn't he? I mean, for things he wants to shop for. That's a nice thing in a husband. I hope you find your sink.
In the factory, there were loud brash women who really fed into that. It was also a place that had a supervisor who told me that he saw no need to help me get a raise to the next level, because every payday, the team went to a local bar to drink and I never went. I was a single parent. I had neither time or money for that sort of nonsense. I can tell you that the women who did fared much better than I did.
DeleteAn age-old story. What's that old saying? "You gotta go along to get along?"
DeleteI became wise to the changing social landscape pretty quickly after moving out of business into university jobs. Then I returned to work in a computer company and was appalled how vulgar it was. Then, back in university work things were civilised again, except in the engineering department. It seems to depend where you are, and how swaggering and blokey it is.
ReplyDeleteThat last line made me giggle, but I knew exactly the scenario you were referring to!
DeleteWe've been known to buy a thing or two at Ikea over the years but there furniture can seem a bit weird at times. We even flirted with having them install one of their kitchens about three decades ago. I am not sure if yours have cafes, but my sister highly recommends the Swedish meatballs. A so called apron fronted sink looks easier on the back to me.
ReplyDeleteI think they all have cafes, don't they? It will be a fun day out.
DeleteThanks for your good wishes for Dave (and for prompting them from others)! Yeah, I haven't heard a thing from Ikea, but it's OK, honestly. I'm sure they get a zillion e-mails and maybe one day they'll write back and send me a free Boviggen. (Or something.)
ReplyDeleteI still feel that it was above and beyond the call of duty.
DeleteI think the older generation is perplexed as to how we are supposed to act now. What was once acceptable can get you fired or worse now. Some things are obviously unacceptable but were swept under the rug in the past. Other things still seem innocuous to me.
ReplyDeleteI had to laugh when my son decided to educate me on the mistreatment of women as if I hadn't lived it myself. At least young men today are much more sensitive to how they treat women. I shudder when I remember what I lived through as acceptable.
The funny thing is that he is younger than Tim and I are. My daughters find it inconceivable that women were required to wear dresses to work. Slacks were not permitted. Our supervisors were elderly women who had been with the company all their lives, never marrying because if you married you lost your job. The company owner felt that a woman's place was at home.
DeleteHappy Birthday to William! Kids seem to grow up faster and faster. And well... I feel like we keep growing older faster too. I can't believe my granddaughter will be 18 this year. Good gosh!
ReplyDeleteAs for guys. Hmmm. I'm trying to think if I ever ran across someone like that. Maybe in my college days, perhaps. But not after that. Granted, I did work in an elementary school so that's not where you'd normally see such a guy.
And oh yes, we loved IKEA when we lived in Illinois and bought a number of furniture pieces there for the kitchen, etc.
Tim has never been. I use to live in the Washington DC area and loved the one near us. But I think Tim will be impressed.
DeleteOh, Happy 13th Birthday to William. Hope his year is filled with fun adventures and sweet, calm moments with you and Tim! Have fun at IKEA!
ReplyDeleteI hope it is his best year ever!
DeleteThere are a lot of men like you describe. I was a waitress when I was in high school in the 70's. You were expected (even as a teenager) to laugh at the innuendo and jokes. And to keep your backside away from their pinches. Even now I hear men make fun of women who bring lawsuits for sexual harassment. As a mother of girls (and boys) I tried to make sure that my children understood boundaries and especially made sure I raised daughters who would not tolerate it. And I do feel sorry for his family. My guess is he went too far since he never had boundaries and now his loved ones are terribly embarrassed and publicly shamed.
ReplyDeleteI love IKEA - We used to have to drive over 3 hours out of state, but now there is one (only) 2 hours away in my own state. I have been there twice in 5 years, LOL. I agree, those showrooms decorated as real spaces are amazing. I could move in! And that sink is the sink of my dreams.
Things have changed a great deal since the 70s. I guess the thing that 'gets' me is that he has a daughter, a strong confident woman. It seems like raising his daughter might have raised his awareness.
DeleteI like browsing in IKEA too, but a lot of their stuff is particleboard, so I’m not sure Tim will be impressed! Still, it’s fun to look, and maybe take inspiration from! Enjoy your visit!
ReplyDeleteWe can know what we are there for. We will enjoy ourselves.
DeleteI hope you enjoy your day and fill your trolley with lovely things. I've only been to IKEA once, decades ago.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure that we will buy much. But it will be nice to look around.
DeleteJust make sure that whatever you get from IKEA comes with all of the necessary parts - especially if it's 2 1)2 hrs to go and get the missing vital piece!
ReplyDeleteHa ha! Forewarned is forearmed. I bow to the queen of the flatpack!
DeleteI haven't been to the swedish place for a very long time. We did go quite often after we first moved here and needed a lot of this, that and the other thing.
ReplyDeleteWe really don't need anything. Maybe a kitchen sink. Mostly, we are going to IKEA for ideas.
DeleteThat sunk would never work for me, much too small. And no rinse sink? But I guess these days almost everyone else has a dishwasher and doesn't need that second sink.
ReplyDeleteI was in an Ikea once, in NY. I found it overwhelming, so much stuff! And all of it so attractive. I have bought some shelves and a little cart from them online, and both were good quality. In that NY store, people came out with these huge shopping bags, then got on the ferry to go home. Most of them walked home, carrying those huge bags. No wonder everyone was thin, lol!