Wednesday, December 20, 2023

The Talk

 Tim and I have had our annual talk. 

This morning, he said, "I want you to go with me to the Second Ave Exchange." This is the old Woolworth store in town that has been opened up as venue for different venders to come and sell their wares. Craft things, antiques, baby items. You name it, someone has a booth for it. 

I said, "Why?" and he said, "Well, you can show me what you want for Christmas."

So we had the same talk that we always have. 

"Tim. What's the fun of that? I mean, I might as well go Christmas shopping for myself!"

At that, he got quite a hopeful look on his face, which was the tinsiest bit irritating.

This is a man who has quite happily done his own Christmas shopping this year. So far, he has gotten himself a new bow, a floor standing meat saw, a new (to him) tractor, new tires for his truck. Every purchase he makes comes with the happy proclamation: 'This is my Christmas!' He's perfectly happy shopping for himself, and he evidently ranks himself quite highly on Santa's good list from the looks of his haul. 

I said, "Tim. The whole idea of gift giving is this: Look at me. What things do I use? What things do I like? Scented soap. A local history book. Earrings. A warm night gown. What hair spray do I use? I mean, that's how you give gifts to a person. You just look at them and think of what sort of things they might like or what items they use." 

We've been married for more than 25 years. We have some version of this talk every year. 

He sat there waiting for a reprieve and when one was not forthcoming, he got up and headed out the door. 

He was back much more quickly than I would have expected. That's some pretty decisive shopping there. He had a big bag which he carefully set under the tree, with an excited look on his face. "I got centers for my truck! Brand new! She had the four of them marked for $25 plus they were 20% off!" He reached in and pulled one out to show me. 

I don't think that these are my Christmas gift, but they're under the tree, so I can't be really sure about this. Stay tuned.

Late edit for Jim: They are caps that fit in the middle of a rim. They make a truck look purty. 





54 comments:

  1. OK, I'll bite, what is a center for a truck?

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    1. Ya know, I'm a car guy and in all the years I've been one I never heard them called centers. My Heavy Duty 3500 Duramax had covers almost exactly like those. I've learned something today. :)

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    2. Officially center caps. Tim just calls them centers.

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  2. Oh maaan..! My husband asked me yesterday what I wanted for Christmas … and while we’re not very concerned on gifts to each other,
    I’d still appreciate a little something that says he’s given it a little thought! Meanwhile, I’ve spent at least a month wondering what I could get him as a surprise… you know, other than the socks he likes??🀷‍♀️
    Oh well .. luckily I’m both patient and an adult,- right?? Let’s just get ourselves what we want, ok? (Ricki)

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    1. Nope. I gave him a lot of ideas. He can buy me a Christmas present. I am very patient. But he can put a little thought into it. It isn't going to kill him.

      Unless the truck centers are for me.

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  3. Oh Debby! I must show this to my husband. Hang in there!! Jackie

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    1. Oh he'll come through. He has gotten better through the years, but he tries hard to dodge it.

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  4. I put the things I want on his amazon wish list and then hope. It has only about a 10% success rate sadly.

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    1. I have to be really straightforward about things. The man wouldn't recognize a hint if it bit him.

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  5. Okay this just made me laugh--I can relate to Tim more than I want to admit! Still, you are his wife of 25 years and the man should know better by now, haha :^)

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    1. He is always hopeful that he will hear a different speech. He can just buy his wife a Christmas present.

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  6. "At that, he got quite a hopeful look on his face, which was the tinsiest bit irritating." I laughed and then unfortunately indulged in some self reflection.

    Don't you call those wheel nut covers, hubcaps?

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    1. Hub caps cover the whole rim. Center caps fit in the center of the rims, over the hub only.

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  7. I am a completely handicapped gift giver. Tim has company!

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    1. Every year I think he understands it. But the next year, we are having the same conversation.

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  8. My boyfriend and I have a different conversation every year (for the past 5 anyway); "we're not gift giving, right?" We agree to that, then he gives me a package with goodies from Trader Joe's and I have nothing for him, not that he or we need anything at all.

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    1. I actually told him early in the season that I really could not think of anything I wanted. I suggested rewiring the bedroom lamps. I would have been perfectly happy with that.

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  9. Oh Debby we’ve been married 48 years, I’m afraid it won’t get any better. I had to say purty several times out loud to realise it means pretty ( sorry Australian here)

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    1. Well, as long as I get a gift from him at Christmas, I don't mind. Even if I have to push a bit.

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  10. I realise now that my father was a remarkable man. Every year he bought my mother a small gift which he gave to her on Christmas morning. Then, during the rest of the day, he appeared at regular intervals with additional presents, some large, some small. And each time my mother was surprised and delighted, or at least acted it. This pantomime occurred every year!

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    1. That is so sweet, John. He was a rare one.

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    2. Oh man. That is exactly the kind of story I don't need to hear right now, John!

      *glares accusingly at husband*

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  11. It doesn't get better, believe me! My husband is clueless, too, but so lovely in other ways that I can't complain.

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    1. Tim has just fallen into the mindset that I will take care of myself. If I want/need something, go get it. He does not pay attention.

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  12. Perhaps we should all just put a small sum for everyone to buy presents for each other. It just gets ridiculous in the end.

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    1. I really think it is okay to have expectations. I am not a jewelry person. I don't have expensive tastes. It is not a high pressure situation. It does not have to be a ridiculous affair.

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  13. Might want to Google how to install your new Centers... Linda in Kansas

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  14. Ooh boy.
    But what do you get for Tim? For the life of me I can't think of a thing to get Glen as he does his own Christmas shopping like Tim does. I'm clueless.

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    1. I know because I have watched him struggle with something and get grumpy in the process. He will be happy with it. I will probably pick him up a Hershey dark chocolate candy bar. It doesn't have to be some grand thing. Just something that says ' I was thinking of you and saw this.

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  15. I feel your pain. 38 years together and he still looks like a deer in the headlights when I tell him ( I have to tell him, yes) to go shopping for my gift! I agree with what you said: it's about paying attention to a person, what they like or are interested in. I feel like he doesn't pay much attention at all. Most years he gives me nothing but this year I am holding his feet to the fire.

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    1. Through the years, we have come to have expectations of each other. I think that is normal. One of mine is that I will find a gift under the tree. It is not unreasonable.

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  16. This brought back the memory of how my Dad would take me with him to shop for my Mom and I would help him pick out things she would like. We had such a sweet time together and I had forgotten about that.
    Hope you get something you like.

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    1. That is how Tim used to handle it. The kids are grown and gone. I remember wrapping my dad's gifts for my mom. It made me feel important.

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  17. Ha! I gotta say, I kind of sympathize with Tim on this. I am not a great gift-giver and I find the whole process rather overwhelming. Fortunately, Dave and I have agreed to a very limited Christmas which makes it easy on both of us.

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    1. I really think people make their biggest mistake by doing their Christmas shopping at Christmas. When I hear people admiring something or mentioning something they would like or need, I look for those things. When I see them on sale, I buy them. I Christmas shop year round. It does not have to be anxiety inducing.

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  18. Oh dear...mind you, Pirate has a job....keeps on wanting to buy me things I don't have.....but I don't have them because I don't need or like them!!!

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    1. I suggested rewiring our old bedroom lamps. That would be a great Christmas gift. He jumped on that immediately and decided to buy new lamps. I told him that I don't want new lamps. These are old ones that match the age of the bedroom set (1920) and it took forever to find the right shades. I can guarantee that he has forgotten this.

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  19. It helps to be single and I buy my own presents: So far this year ... a cute hanging light, a new vacuum cleaner should be here tomorrow, a pair of magnetic earrings (they are supposed to help lose weight!). Reviews state they are overrated! LOL Oh well, they are on the cheap side!
    Good luck to all the married ladies that their spouses come through for them!!
    Next Monday will tell ... eh!?!

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    1. Oh! I hope you have some family...everyone deserve a surprise at Christmas.

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    2. My son is in Oregon and just came down with the shingles! I told my daughter in law not to send me anything because she sends me what SHE wants, not what I would want! However, flowers are OK, but too damned expensive!
      We will chat or do a video chat on Christmas Day! At 80, Debby, I have had enough surprises in my life!

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    3. There are so many sick people this Christmas! I like surprises. Most of the time. Maybe when I'm 80, I'll feel differently. We'll see, I imagine.

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  20. I wonder if he truly understands *why* this is important to you…. Seems like he cares enough about you that he’d want to make you happy! πŸ˜†

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    1. He is probably not aware, but it certainly is not because I haven't explained it to him. Once I remember trying to explain something that was at the time important to me. He sat across from me chin in hand, listening. I thought. It felt like it was quite a special moment. When I finished, he said thoughtfully, "you know what I think?" Happily, I said, 'what?' I couldn't wait to hear. Thoughtfully, he said, "I was thinking about foxes..."

      Not a clue about why I was so pissed.

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  21. That's a fantastic price! And I need those. Tell Tim that's what I want for Christmas.

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  22. Perfect 😁

    "he evidently ranks himself quite highly on Santa's good list"

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  23. Yesterday, he did want to go look to see if there were any guns on clearance. That did irk me. I said that he didn't need another gun. And I can assure you that he does not. He said, ' I'm not buying one. I am just looking at the sales.'

    I did not just fall of the turnip truck yesterday. If he had found one on sale, he would have bought it. Because he likes to save money.

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  24. Actually, Art and I are the opposite. We don't get each other gifts unless the other person mentions something. This year, I knew he was having problems with his Fitbit so I told him I saw a good deal for a new one. He said, "Sure" so I bought it. I haven't found anything I want so he said to let him know when I think of something. I may find something... or I may not. We're funless that way.

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    1. It is about expectation. You and art have an expectation that works for you. Tim is getting a new phone charger and a semi sweet bar. It doesn't need to be grand. I gave him multiple inexpensive ideas.

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The Lawyer.

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