Wednesday, November 6, 2024

The Morning After

 I sit with my coffee this morning, and I don't even know where to start. The best way to put it is that I am grieving. Plain and simple I am grieving

Tim and I talked about it a little. Elon Musk is telling people that there will be economic hardship and turmoil. He is expecting the stock market to crash. Since he's going to be the man in charge of all that, I think that we take him at his word. 

Tim said, "he says that housing costs are going to skyrocket." 

I said, "Why do you think that is?" 

He said, "I don't know." 

I said, "It is because the housing market is owned by rich people, who will be able to determine the market. These people will operate with impunity under the new status quo. A system is in place that will benefit them, and they will use it." 

We looked at each other for a moment. 

We are landlords. We know that our prices are more than fair, based on current area rents for other similar houses and apartments. We know that we could be making more. A long time back, we made a decision that this is a ministry of sorts. Using the Christian vernacular, we decided that if we bless our tenants, our tenants will bless us in return. And they do. Every tenant we've got is a long term tenant. We have avoided one of the biggest headaches of rental units: getting good tenants. Our tenants move in, and they stay. 

I said, "Well, this is the time for us to take a long look at what we intend to be. Do we become 'them', or do we remain true to ourselves and our beliefs?" 

And with those words, a great deal of the confusion in my own mind was lifted. I'm still sad. I am very sad. Unlike many, I fear that this presidency will be the end of our democracy. I grieve for that and the fact that my grandchildren will be living in a world that I don't understand. I grieve that millions of people who voted for change will get it. Unfortunately it will not be the change that anybody expected. It will not be the change that we hoped for. 

In the end, what will matter is kindness. Our kindness for each other, and our willingness to address need. We can't change the big things, but we can look around us and change the little things. We can help each other through this. 

Tim and I figured our own strategies for these days, and they don't vary much from how we always lived. 

Minimize waste. 

Minimize spending. 

Maximize saving for a rainy day because the rainy days are here. 

We cannot change the big picture. "Don't look!" Steve Reed said in a comment on another blog. That's the answer, I think. Important people will do their self serving work behind the scene. We need to shift our focus, turning it to what we can do: take care of each other. 

Don't look at them. Look at each other. 

That's it, really. That's all I have. 


79 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I know you are. I thought about you and so many others last night. It was strangely comforting to me to know that there were others like me in this world. Thanks for being you, Marcia.

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  2. Replies
    1. I couldn't have put it better myself.

      I could however word it much more strongly and socially unacceptably, but what would that change, really? I'll keep my thoughts to myself, and echo an Irish man of the soil: 'Flipping heck!'

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  3. I love how you ended this post. We can't change the big picture but we can be kind to each other and help those around us in need. I don't know what the next four years will bring, but as you know, I'm still optimistic that democracy will still be standing as we debate the results from the election four years from now. I hope in this case, I'm right about that and you are wrong, for both our sakes.

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    1. Beyond the ideas of right doing and wrong doing, there is a field. I will meet you there. (Rumi).

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  4. I thought trump was going to improve the economy, not blow it up.
    I feel sick and angry today.

    Thank you for the advice. It's important.

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    1. I'm just so impossibly sad. I can't believe it. But as usual, writing about it has brought some clarity to my heart.

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  5. My fear is that in this case, being kind to each other and helping those in need is going to be like trying to drain the sea teacup by teacup. I believe this is going to be so much bigger than that.

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    1. We cannot simply just throw up our hands in despair. We all must get out our teacups.

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  6. You said it perfectly. You are a tiny island of sense and reason on a tumultuous and worrying day.

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    1. There are a lot of tiny islands of sense and reason. We need to be looking for each other.

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  7. Replies
    1. I'm sorry for the world. His relationship with Putin is worrisome, and Ukraine (and ultimately Europe) will pay a high price for that loyalty.

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  8. I'm sitting at work feeling physically sick. I still can't believe this has happened. I'm afraid for us all. Adding to my distress, yesterday my husband got some concerning news at his annual oncology checkup.

    I'm trying to hold it all together, but I'm really not ok.


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    1. Oh JEN!!!!! Oh my gosh! I wish that I could hug you. What an unbearable situation! I will e-mail you later.

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    2. Thanks Debby. I may try to write a blog post tonight

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  9. I shut off comments on my pithy and pathetic post because I wasn't up to dealing with folk who were getting on my case about my choice of words.

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    1. I get it. Totally get it. I have some choice words of my own. Since I couldn't turn my country blue, perhaps you and I could turn the air blue.

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  10. It is going to be a bumpy ride for a while, for everyone.

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    1. It will be chaos. That is what he brings to the table. Chaos.

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  11. As a regular reader I need to comment and share my deepest disappointment in the election outcome. I am so ashamed and embarrassed for my country. I will try to be as you suggest, kind and taking care of others but I am so bitter. Sad does not begin to cover how I'm feeling.

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    1. I felt much more when I went to bed last night. This morning, the really dark stuff had receded...and what was left was sad. Lots and lots of sad.

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  12. Kay of Musings: I just woke up this morning to the devastating news and thank you for your post. I feel like you’re here with me holding my hand saying, “We’ll get through this. We’ll get through this. Just do the best we can.” I already had my post for today scheduled from last week. I don’t know if I’ll be able to write about this terrible time in the U.S.

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    1. Oh Kay. Give it time to settle. I felt awful when I woke up this morning. I didn't even want to get out of bed and I was ashamed of my weakness. I forced myself up, and you know what? Today was a day filled with small wonders. One of them came from a Buddhist friend. I'd been pondering something he'd said some time ago, fitting it into my thoughts I wrote about today...and he sent me a text. Out of the blue. I had lost his phone number in the great portapotty incident of July 2024. I made a mental note to speak to a mutual friend and try to get it again...and then he called It felt like a miracle. I need to spend time with him, because I think that he is ill.

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  13. Wise words Debby. When we had to rent out my former house and my wife's for a time because of negative equity, we undercharged and had only good tenants. In fact, with mine in Scotland, the tenant took good care of it, and I felt so guilty about how much it had eventually increased in price, when I sold it I gave her a gift of £500.

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    1. That's a nice story, Tasker. We have a tenant too, who loves to garden, and tends our little house as if it were her own. She is always making some little improvement. We had to really make it clear to her after a couple big projects: Our policy is that we pay for needed repairs...like plumbing or heating, or some structural issue. We also pay for the any appliances. This one though...she ripped out a whole bathroom floor and replaced it because she did not like the pattern. She put up permanent trellises on both sides of the front porch. She buys oodles of yard plants. We feel quite guilty about things. But she loves her little house.

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  14. Terrible news but we have to look forward to a better future for our children and grandchildren. We should not give way to hopelessness.

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    1. We can't. Giving way to hopelessness means that we have given up. We just can't do that. Now is not the time to do that.

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  15. I think you're right -- we embrace doing what we can do as individuals to further the beliefs and values we hold. That's the only answer at this point. Like it or not, an awful lot of people in America wanted this man. It's astonishing to me but it's democracy. (For the time being!)

    I was kind of kidding when I said "Don't look" -- I think we DO have to look, at least enough to stay informed. But we don't need to wallow in it. We can personally resist. We still have a voice.

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    1. I actually knew that you were joking. But we cannot be so focused on them that we forget to look at each other. We can't help what they do. We can help each other.

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  16. Good advice. Our grandchildren will be stunned observing episodes and gestures of kindness between good and sensible people, and maybe more will vote correctly in the future. Hopefully we can all get through just 4 years of the jerk. The last time I was nauseated in the morning, I was pregnant. Linda in Kansas

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    1. Your last line gave me a hearty laugh. A much needed laugh. I just think that it is a time to take stock and decide each of us, with a clear mind, what we will do next. These are the days that will define us, both on a personal level and on a national level.

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  17. Yes, do the best we can.
    The artist Valerianna Claff said that she is grieving too....I think we all are even those not in your country.

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    1. I worry for Europe. I just don't think this bodes well for Ukraine, and ultimately for Europe.

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  18. Well said, Debby. I think we will all have to follow the advice of that famous WWII poster and just 'Keep Calm and Carry On'.

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    1. I see a lot of hysteria online right now which I think is mainly people coming to grips with something that we hoped we would never have to come to grips with. I think the fervor will die down. Calm heads will carry us through, I hope. To what, I have no clue.

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  19. Hi Debby, I have for the most part, gone away from blogs since Pat died but I wanted to log in today to check with a few of you. You have given good advice here. I follow Barbara Kingsolver on social media as I do love her books so much. She put this post out today and I don't think she would mind if I share it here: (Jackie in Georgia USA). "Truth and love have been smacked down, so many more times in history before today. Truth, because it’s often inconvenient, and love because it is vulnerable.
    But truth is like gravity, and carbon, and the sun behind an eclipse: it’s still there. And love stays alive if you tend it like a flame. If you feel crushed by unkindness today, it’s a time for grieving, reaching out to loved ones, noticing one bright color somewhere in the day. Remembering what there is to love. Starting with the immediate, the place and people we can tend ourselves, and make safe. We can’t save everything all at once, but it’s still worth saving something. Because there are so many of us to do it.
    And we are all still here today, exactly as we were yesterday. Like gravity, and carbon, and the sun behind an eclipse."

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    1. Hi, Jackie. I read that too, and I loved it. Thanks for bringing it here. We need all the soothing words we can get our mitts on! You know, I was wondering today what Pat would have thought of all this. I know that she would have sat down at her computer and come up with something. She lived through hard times herself, so I am sure her words would have been wise and reassuring.

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  20. In the 70s my Dad was sure our country was doomed. We made it through, and we will make it through again. Battered, maybe, and forever changed. We plan to hunker down, continue living our lives--but with a watchful, wary eye. And yes, kindness.

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    1. I hope that you're right. That's a hopeful way to look at it. Thanks Susanna.

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  21. Many heads are shaking in disbelief worldwide. Whatever is the world coming to……worries for what might be

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    1. I can't even look that far ahead. The worries of the day are sufficient.

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  22. At this awful time, I like your focus on decency and kindness.

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  23. You wrote.... 'We need to shift our focus, turning it to what we can do...' Wise words, and not in any way a denial or reality or results, for acting as best we can is always right... Today, I think more than ever we need to try harder to understand each other too and not simply demonise or despair at others with different perspectives. And kike you said.... take care of each other.

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    1. Mark. So glad to see you here. The secret to all of it, I believe, that we see each other as people. It's easier to draw up sides when you look at your opponent as being less than human, if that makes sense.

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  24. Many of the proposals, as in the housing market, will kill the goose. Raise prices and fewer people will be able buy houses. Raise the rent and fewer people can afford rent. More homeless people and more problems that go with homelessness. This stuff will work for short while but not long.

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    1. I don't see virtually anything that he's declaring that he will do as being anything that will work in the long term, Red.

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  25. I am disgusted and disappointed in my fellow Americans who didn't vote or voted for the man who will never be my president.
    I just listened to Kamala's concession speech and she said a lot of what you have said here. We can't give up the fight. We must stand up for others and share kindness wherever we can. I admire her poise and her strength even though she must be exhausted and sad.

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    1. I didn't hear the speech yet, but I knew that it would be gracious and strong.

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  26. I am very, very sad too! I so agree with you though: Kindness! Care for your family and friends, and see them. Kindness is really my religion, and it often doesn’t take much to make a difference in someone’s lives ❤️ xo, Rigmor

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    1. We needed to be reminded of that, Rigmor. It doesn't take much, sometimes. Thank you.

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  27. I am a renter and watch my rent go up every year, but I don't have any real options, since we live on a fixed income in our eighties. I am very sad right now, too. And a little afraid.

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    1. This makes my heart hurt for you. Tim and I are lucky, but we realize that could change quickly. We've never raised our rents. We might have to in 2026. They are reassessing all city properties.

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  28. I have been in shock all day. I liked what you wrote. For me though at 72 and my husband 74, we decided we just need to shut off all media and just go about our lives. We live on only our small SS checks and still have a mortgage. So we budget and do the best we can. My husband is going thru cancer treatment for a second time and this one is even worst than the first, so there are priorities plus i get monthly chemotherapy for my cancer. It just all seems too much but I still say as Gandalf does" you can only decide what to do with the time that is given to you".

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    1. Oh Christina, that's heartbreaking. If you click on my sidebar, it allows you to see my e-mail address, if you wish to contact me that way.

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  29. I'm not capable of a lot of words right now as I absorb the enormity of what happened yesterday. So I'll just say that I grieve for this country and it's future, I think things are going to get pretty bad before they get batter. I was so, so wrong about so many of my fellow citizens, and I don't think I'll ever get over that.

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    1. That is the biggest shock to me...that even more people saw him as the better choice than the previous election. Empathy seems to be a lost virtue, gone the way of good manners and kind words.

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  30. Replies
    1. The news that he plans to let RFK Jr. do "pretty much what he wants" is frightening. (Breathes deeply...)

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  31. Lotta typos in my post, sorry, kinda sums up how I feel this evening, kinda detached and hoping this was all a bad dream....

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    1. We must be coming from the same place. I didn't notice them. I went back and re-read, and found two. We've got bigger things to fret about, my friend. Typos are nothing!

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  32. You and Tim and Steve Reed have said it very well. I'm grieving with you and trying to breathe and just so sad that hate wins the day. I am going to do my best to ignore the ugly rhetoric as it comes down the pike. Won't be easy but I'll concentrate on my immediate family and the rest be hanged. Most of my extended family are part of the bible thumping cult headed by him, they are dead to me. They have been since the last time. They voted to harm people very close to me and I won't be forgetting nor forgiving.

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    1. A relative posted this: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/156en3DWKq/ it felt like an olive branch.

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    2. Perhaps it is. I used to be a "live and let live" person, knowing the extended family and I have different political views. We loved each other and that was enough. But they now espouse hate for anyone not like them and have sh** on my loved ones too much. They worship the orange fatted calf. It hasn't been politics for a long time, it's good versus evil. No olive branch from me. They can take their bible thumping elsewhere.

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    3. I have heard people actually advocating for violence on January 20th. How does that make us any different then them? I can tell you that the one thing that I know about this is that it will not be anger that saves us all. A friend sent me a text yesterday.

      A good soldier is not angry.
      A good soldier is not violent.

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    4. I'm not violent, I close in on myself.

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    5. I was not trying to say that you were. It's something we need to consider. There is so much anger and violence in this world that adding more anger and violence will not solve the problem. But violence, even closed in, can damage your self.

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  33. I am crushed and empty. This is a very nice post. You are taking the high road like you always do. I need to just collapse for a while. The first time I fought and marched and campaigned and wrote postcards and called congress people and tried so hard to make a difference. Now I'm just so tired. And disappointed in my fellow man.

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    1. Mary, the advice I would give to you is simple: the all the time you need. Let it be your gift to yourself.

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  34. Be kind is pretty much the answer no matter how difficult it will be. Hate cannot drive out hate. Take care and thanks for posting this, Debby.

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    1. I hope that people see that, no matter what 'side' you are on.

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  35. Jeanie here - someone just posted a link to an article that I think that you might nod to - https://www.popehat.com/p/and-yet-it-moves - hugs to you today.

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  36. That's an interesting take on it. I know people who are already raising the specter of revolt, of a January 20th protest. I disagree. I will never agree with trump rhetoric, whether it's spewing from his mouth or one of his cult members, but there's a difference with responding to offense and initiating it. It may come to violence, but I strongly disagree that the violence start with us.

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  37. I have decided that when the 💩 hits the fan, and when the MAGAts are surprised and complaining about the 💩, my response will be: "Don't complain ... You voted for this 💩!"
    I'm surrounded by "them" in this building I live in! Just discovered another one yesterday ... She didn't like the ads Kamala ran on TV. Evidently she wasn't offended by the Orange Lump's disgusting ads!

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    1. I'm simply avoiding these people. I am not watching the news. Later maybe. Somebody posted on a private group I have that we have a lot of work to do to heal this nation. I don't see how that is our job. I don't see how it even CAN be our job.

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