Saturday, November 23, 2024

Conversations from a Marriage

 Today was another work day. We got another ceiling up in the third bedroom at the rehab. That was our goal for today. Mission accomplished. I did some insulation work too.

I also swept.

The house is old and it was pretty bad. I have been sweeping over and over, every time that I go, but still...there is more dust. Yesterday, I hauled out the wood from the kitchen cupboard. Didn't seem like after getting rid of the doors that there was much point in keeping that wood, but Tim thought maybe it might come in useful for something. And the wood does match the woodwork. So I hauled the wood out to the garage and stacked it, and cleaned the debris left behind and swept out the kitchen. Dustpan after dustpan. Where does it all come from? Who knows, but I swept upstairs and downstairs again today, and found plenty more dust. 100 years of dust doesn't get swept up over night, I guess. 

Tim made the comment about 'the next house we buy...' Pretty sure he was joking, but you never can be too sure. Just in case he was serious, I looked him square in the face and said, "We. Are. Not. Buying. ANY MORE HOUSES! I am making it perfectly clear. I am ready to retire, and I'm not doing it anymore, so if you decide to get yourself tangled up in another rehab, you better be prepared to be working on it all by yourself. I AM DONE!~!!" He looked surprised but didn't say anything. I've said this before, but, by heavens, this time I mean it. I think the man would be happy to drop over dead with a hammer in his hand. Me? Not so much. 

We worked all day and then headed down to feed the kittens. Tim went hunting last night for a couple hours, and so he took over feeding them last night. (I stayed home and made supper for him, scalloped potatoes, with smoked sausage.) I know that he doesn't fuss much with them. He'll just throw a couple cups of dry cat food in their dish and call it good. I'm different. But I knew that he'd want to get out hunting right away. I bring the pitcher home with me to wash, so I got the bright idea to make the gravy here at home for him. I handed him the pitcher on his way out of the door. "When you get down there, just add a packet of beef broth to the gravy, heat up the water in the electric kettle, and then pour it all in with the gravy. Stir in a couple cans of cat food, and then take it down and add it to a couple scoops of dry cat food and you're done. 

I'm not sure what he did not understand there, but I noticed that when I filled the kettle with water today, it was brown. Really, really brown. I wondered what was going on with the water. I've never seen it that color before. But then, something struck me. I said to Tim 'So...did you add the beef broth in the electric kettle?'

He said, "No. You didn't tell me to do that." 

I said, "I'm glad. The water was so brown that I thought you'd misunderstood or something."

He said, "Well...wasn't I supposed to pour the gravy in there?" 

Me (aghast), "In the electric kettle???!!!" 

Him: "I was heating it up for them." 

Gaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!! I explained the proper use of an electric kettle to him. Nuthin' but water! You use the kettle to heat water to add to things in a pitcher (or a cup). Nothing but water goes in the kettle! I think that I used enough exclamation points. He'll probably remember. Maybe. 

The kettle was brought home for a thorough cleaning. 

The kittens were especially glad to see me today, poor starvelings! I mixed their food up just the way they like it, and they gathered around quickly. I notice when I sit down on the floor to watch them and talk to them that three of them seem almost to be more interested in being petted and scritched behind the ears than they are in the food. Today, I didn't have enough hands because three of them crowded close. Minnie was eating her food while it was still hot, but she stayed close and watched carefully as Tiger, Sigh, and Possum milled around purring and rubbing against my hands. The three of them initiate the contact by standing in front of me staring at my face. When I look at them, they give a quiet questioning 'purp!' That gets the pets started. It is fun to see them learning to trust, and I am grateful for that small joy. 

So. That was today. Work and kittens. We stopped at a grocery store to pick up carrots and broccoli for a stirfry, but I don't imagine that you're interested to hear about that. Or the turnips I picked up for a pot of turnip soup either. So. I won't mention that. 

Happy weekend. 




35 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. She's adorable, isn't she? So earnestly explaining to her father that everyone would think he was a bad daddy.

      Delete
  2. I'm exhausted just reading about all the rehab work you guys are doing. Retirement? The kettle? Good thing you love him:)
    That little flower girl reminded me of Jack when he starts explaining things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got such a kick out of the way she used her little hands.

      Delete
  3. Nice title. Somehow the best of intentions don't work out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, they don't. Good intentions are not going to get this last rehab done. It's going to take a lot of work. I just don't want to work that hard any more. I'm drywalling again. Do you know how much I hate drywalling??? I feel as if maybe I haven't mentioned it.

      Delete
  4. Now I know you won't be asking Tim to make that special kitty mix again. (Was it all his cunning plan?)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Jaycee, you would laugh to see how worried he is about those kittens being warm enough through winter. He doesn't like to fuss over things, but he does take care of them.

      Come to think of it, it rather describes his thoughts on marriage as well.

      Delete
    2. @jaycee: a friend’s term for this: weaponized incompetence. To guarantee that one won’t be asked again to do an unwanted task, right?

      Delete
    3. I don't think it is that. You have to understand that we've never had an electric kettle before. Never even seen one until my daughter married a fine fellow from the UK. Given his general incompetence in the kitchen (which has admittedly been aided and abetted by no other than myself), I shouldn't have been surprised. If he doesn't want to do something, he simply doesn't do it.

      Delete
  5. I think that kettle needs to go in the recycling and get a new one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh no. That would be just wasteful. It's been rinsed out again and again with hot water. Once the water began to run clear again, I just ran it through several cycles to 'boil it out' The hot water was used to wash my dishes. It's okay.

      But...gravy in an electric kettle...still boggles my mind.

      Delete
  6. I don't believe in reincarnation, but if for some reason it is true, I hope I come back as a kitten in your vicinity!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tim is besotted too, and he doesn't even like animals. I'm not even sure how that happened.

      Delete
  7. Some things (and people) try your patience to the limit. It sounds as if you've made your point!
    The flower girl is so sweet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I couldn't believe he put gravy in the electric kettle. He's never really been much help in the kitchen. In fact when we finally agreed to marry, he said, "I only ask one thing. Don't ever ask me to do the cooking." I haven't. He hasn't.

      Delete
  8. You've really fallen for those kittens, they are blessed. Stick to your guns as far as retiring is spoken of, there is no need to create more work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is nothing cuter than a kitten, Thelma. They are such funny little things. They're really pretty much grown by now, so kittens is the wrong word, but teaching a wild animal to trust a human is really so very soul satisfying. No matter what is happening around you, there is a bit of peace to be found. I can't explain it, but it has caught Tim too. I offered one of the kittens to someone, now that they have settled, and he said, rather matter of factly, "Don't give those kittens away. We're keeping them."

      Delete
    2. So has definitely been catted ❤️

      Delete
    3. It would appear. We went into the garage today and there was a dead mouse. He was so pleased with those cats!

      Delete
  9. We have had ponies and pigs and goats and piglets brought in to the kitchen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your adventures make for good reading, Dave. Tim won't even have a dog in the house. His compromise is that I can have a cat. But for all his professed dislike for animals, after we finish drywalling a bedroom in the rehab, he's got it in mind that we need to go straight to the new house. He's worried that it is getting too cold for the kittens, and wants to set up a heated nest for them. I said, "Well, we'll just put them in the house." It was a trick because I thought for sure he'd have major objections. He said, "We could, but I really doubt that they'd let us just pick them up and carry them inside." I nearly fell off the couch in shock.

      Delete
  10. You do have a way of mentioning things that you won't mention. 😊

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought we agreed not to talk about that, Famous Guy!

      Delete
  11. My Hubs and I both retired in 2017. He already had a second job before he retired, and has kept on doing that one, since. He works for a funeral home, so there are times when he's crazy busy, and times he's not. I have a pet/house sitting gig, and only say yes to what I want to do. I've had years where I was crazy busy, living from place to place (I stay where I pet sit) and had to stop doing that because I started to resent it and thought, GOD, I can say no, and I do, and I much more balanced now. I get to play with my friends, walk, hike, bike, read books, cook, bake and generally only do things I love, while my Hubs continues to work himself to death. His choice. Hold on to your line in the sand. Remember this phrase: It's for me, not against you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know, that is a good thing to remember. Tim and I are coming up on our 68th year. I argued bitterly against this house 5 years ago, allowed myself to be talked into 'just one more', and never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that it would take so long to get to it. I let myself get talked into it, and then that house went on the back burner out of necessity. It couldn't be helped. Now we are back at it with a one year 3 month deadline. If I am being honest, I have to say I resent him for pushing so hard, and I'm pissed at myself for letting myself get talked into it. I had different plans on how I wanted to spend my 'golden years'.

      Delete
    2. That's it, Debby, none of us is getting any younger. No, I don't want to sit on my butt until the end, but I don't want to workworkwork either; there is middle ground. I used to feel bad that my Hubs works so hard, and I don't any more, because he has choices, as do I. So, I use my choices to live retirement the way that I want. I do try and fill in the holes left by his non-stop-at-times working: yard work, snow removal, all the laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc., and I am glad to do it. However, it can get OLD, and there are times I just have to let some of it slide.

      Delete
  12. Glen hates not being busy, busy, busy. And he'll take on the most insane (in my eyes) projects. Luckily, they do not involve me. But yes, sad to say but I think that men often believe that their plans and activities are more important than ours. And we let them get away with it! The patriarchy is deeply engrained into every bit of our culture and even ourselves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is my fault. I get tired of hearing him push, and I give in. It's time to stand up and not back down. I really do not intend to spend the rest of my life doing this. I want to have some time to relax and enjoy things.

      Delete
  13. There are many opportunities for skilled people to improve housing. Since you two have skills, you may not be aware of the virtual impossibility of getting people out to fix things. We had a handy man that I paid more than he asked for so he would come back, and he ghosted me anyway. Sometimes I feel very exposed because of the shortage of people who can fix stuff. So that could be an alternative path to rehabbing entire houses. Looks like you have a bunch of cats now, cool!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know that I'm very lucky that way, really. Tim knows a lot. I can help a lot. We watch a lot of you tube.

      Delete
  14. Ah yes, those little moments of miscommunication. We've all been there. I don't blame you for putting your foot down on another house. I hope Tim is hearing you. Maybe he should go volunteer for Habitat?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't believe we have a local Habitat group, tbh. It would be nice.

      Delete
  15. Oh, I think Steve has a good idea for Tim about Habitat! That way he can keep busy and help others at the same time!
    If your rehab house is so full of dust, do you get the duct work vacuumed out? I always wondered if I should have done that in my house but I never have...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When we bought this old house, it had the original boiler in the basement and radiators on the first floor, open gratework to let the warm air flow naturally to the second floor. That does not fly in this day and age. People want a warm house. Tim ripped all that out and installed a new forced air furnace, and made the duct work himself. So, that part is new. TBH, we are drywalling and that makes a lot of dust. We just finished installing insulation in the water damaged portion, ripping out rot, and when you have a house ripped down to the studs, that makes dust and dirt. Also the house had been sitting unlived in for years. Critters. So...there is a lot to clean up. Every time I turn around, I'm hauling something out, and *surprise!* more dirt. So it's a combination of old dirt AND new dust. I know where it's coming from. There was stuff in the attic that had been there since WW1. That's a long time to have dust settling. We blew in insulation and that blew out a hundred years of dirt and debris from inside the walls.

      At some point, it's got to stop, right? (Just pat me on the shoulder and say, "Yep...sure will!)

      Delete

I'm glad you're here!

Broken

 The other day, Tim took himself to McDonalds to eat. I had a couple appointments, but I was also going to take advantage of the day to get ...