Saturday, May 15, 2021

Changes

This morning Tim and I inoculated the iron wood logs. I meant to get a picture, Northsider, but I did not. I will get some pictures together and do a post on it. 

Tim buried Paddy on the far side of the bridge. He even put a little stone up. That was nice. I couldn't bring myself to go look. I just didn't have the heart for it. 

We worked in the greenhouse for a while. Tim put together an irrigation system for the plants inside. I took trays of seedlings up. I also took my avocado tree and my hibiscus tree up.  W got everything set up and hauled water from the creek for the five gallon bucket which provides the water source. As per usual, we 'just happened' to have a drip hose. Tim had got it in a box of stuff years back and it has been hanging in the old house on the property waiting to be used. 

It works like a charm. 

We worked on the garage too. We put the window on the northside. We have a robin's nest in the rafters. The robins were outside as we worked and they were quite upset. As soon as we left the upstairs of the garage, they flew back in to tend to their young. As soon as work resumed, they flew back out and scolded us from the trees outside. We both agree, there's no reason that we need to close the loft off immediately. We'll hold off until the youngsters have fledged. 

Once upon a time, there was a elderly white haired ferocious soul that I thought the world of. We are both history buffs and I could listen to his stories forever. Then there came politics. He came physically to our house to try to make me see the error of my ways. I said, plainly, bluntly, "Jim, you can believe what you want to believe, but I will always believe that there is no excuse for cruelty. I will always speak out against it, and I will always do what I can to fight against it." He shook his old white head ruefully, and got back into his car without another word. He began to mock me on facebook, and put out an announcement that I was his 'former friend'. 

Broke my heart, but you know, he was standing his ground just like I was standing mine. 

Today, I was working with Tim. I heard a car and came out and there was my old friend. "You gonna stay mad forever?" 

I looked at him. "I never was mad, Jim. I was sad. I thought you were mad."

He denied this. I could have picked it apart, but I didn't bother. We looked at each other. 

He said, "I'd love to talk to you again."

I said, "I'd like that too."

So we showed him around. He said, "I'd set up a gravity feed irrigation for that greenhouse." We said, "We did that," and we showed him. He nodded approvingly. "Is that your stable?" he wanted to know, gesturing to the garage. I told him it was a stable for the tractors. He laughed in the jolly way that always tickled me. 

We talked for a bit, catching up. It's been awhile. 

It wasn't a long visit, but it was so wonderful to see him again. We hugged good bye and he got in his car and left. 

I cried. I live in a very angry corner of the world, but for a moment I got a glimpse of that anger beginning to die down, about old friends looking at each other and wondering what the fuss was about. It felt like a chokehold beginning to loosen. I shed a few tears after he left, a quiet joy in my heart.





 Tim and I worked for a bit longer, and then we put our stuff away, turning the garage loft back over to the anxious robins. I got in my car and left first because I knew that I would cry as soon as I walked in the kitchen door with no big orange cat running to greet me. We'll be married for 23 years next week. The poor man still doesn't know what to do with a crying wife. 

16 comments:

Donna. W said...

Very few men like to deal with a wife's tears.

The Weaver of Grass said...

My answer to that last line is value it - shows she has got feelings.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Thanks for the taste of Bob Dylan!

The bike shed said...

It's like a chokehold being loosened ... That's a good description, and mirrors how I feel about people here. People are much the same the world over.

northsider said...

Life is too short for holding grudges. I hope you and Jim keep talking Debby.

Debby said...

Now that the door has been reopened, I expect that we will, Northsider. It was never that I was holding a grudge. Things got very hot in the months leading up to the election. Jim and I always held a polite 'no politics allowed' zone. I knew he felt differently. I know many people that do. Let's face it. Around here, Tim and I are in the distinct minority. But he was pretty mad when he left in disgust that day. He stayed pretty mad, shared that disgust with others. I left him be. I simply respected his right to his own opinions.

I'm glad he's back, though.

Anvilcloud said...

You're very forgiving. I still want to know why an old friend deleted me on FB as I am not particularly political there, and I can't recall ever criticizing his wife or firstborn. A reason would have been nice. I am not bitter, but I am perplexed.

Debby said...

I accidently blocked someone once. She was very angry at me, and I just needed a break from her. I meant to not see posts from her for a while (she was going through a 'thing'. I happened to be going through a 'thing' of my own at the time.) I accidently blocked her.

Anvilcloud, I'd simply ask my friend what happened there. See what he said. If he is as technically inept as I am, he might not even been aware of it.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Dylan will be eighty years old in a week's time. Now that The Fake President is off the throne it seems - at least from this viewpoint - that America is gradually getting back to being itself - in spite of everything.

Steve Reed said...

That is a very touching story, about your neighbor! I hope you're right -- that the polarization is easing and people are learning how to talk to one another again. It's interesting that each of you thought the OTHER was angry. I guess now that the election is past and we're just getting on with life, things might be getting back to "normal."

Debby said...

Oh Jim was mad alright. He was plenty mad and he wasn't shy about making that known to everyone. He doesn't want to own up to that right now. I could press the issue. What would it solve though? We were friends and he was dear to me before all this. I miss him. It made me cry a little to think that he missed me too.

Linda G. said...

I am so sorry for your loss of Paddy.

Joanne Noragon said...

I lost two dear friends at the 2016 election. Thirty five year friends, through D and R presidencies. But this last one put out poisoned kool aide. I've kept up the formal responses of birthday and Christmas cards, but no response until after the last election. Nothing official; one has commented twice on my blog, the other has purchased towels. How I would love to talk to either of them, but there has been no answer to invitations to lunch. So I think I may not see hate receding here, in my life time.
We don't pick cats, they pick us. I wonder what will happen.

Debby said...

Linda's stepdaughter rescued Paddy and Squatch, survivors of a feral cat's litter, so I did pick Paddy. It's a hard thing to put a pet down. I just don't think that I will ever own another animal. The last two broke my heart.

Bob said...

Between the pandemic and the election, we came close to losing friends, but decided we would not do
so. It still grieves me that certain subjects have to be off limits with certain people. I love to learn and I believe we learn by listening. Not everyone agrees.

Ed said...

I have lost a lot of friends over the years but never as sudden as with you and Jim. It just seems we come to realize we don't have a lot in common and the invitations to get togethers just fade away. The abrupt ones are probably a lot more traumatizing.