Tuesday, April 23, 2024

Stubborn

 Today went a lot better. Well...at least no blood was shed. We have begun to install the insulation on the exterior walls and it turns out that I am good at installing insulation, which meant that Tim could focus on other jobs. 

He's been having a struggle with something that he didn't seem able to problem solve his way out of. We've never built a house from scratch before, so I keep telling him that we will run up against situations like that. We'll have to ask someone who has done this before. He was stubbornly insisting that he could figure it out, and I've no doubt that eventually he could, but my question was why would he spend the time to do that, when you could get your answer much more quickly simply by asking the right person a few questions? 

So he spent the day puzzling through his project, while I installed insulation. Note: I avoided the swing stapler. I just installed it, cutting it to size where necessary, and it went okay. Tim came up from the basement to help, and I think he was a little frustrated. He took the swing stapler and began stapling bang, bang, bang. He was going too fast and hit his finger twice. Not as bad as yesterday, but it was a sure sign that he was upset. 

"Slow down," I said. "There's no rush on this, Tim. 

He slowed down. 

During our home inspection last week, Tim was told that the steps to the basement needed to be walled in. That was a bit of a shock. Our stairs here are not. They have railings on both sides, but are open. We live in a house that  is 100 years old, and things have changed. So, we needed to pick up a few things to build the walls in the basement.

So, we drove up to New York State to the Amish building supply and picked up what we needed. 

I tried to talk to Tim on the way up. His jaw stayed very taut. It's what he does. If he doesn't like what I'm saying, he tends to simply not respond. I gave up. 

We picked up the lumber and then drove it back to the new build and put it inside the basement. It's already for him to work on his project tomorrow morning. I can finish up the insulating. We locked up and headed for home, both of us tired and hungry and scratchy from the insulating. 

A shower made me feel better. 

I microwaved our suppers, and getting some food in my stomach made me feel better too. 

What made me feel best of all is that after supper, Tim said, "I'm going to take a shower, and then I think I'll run up to talk to Levi." 

Men are a very stubborn critter. 




34 comments:

  1. Excellent photo! Olivia

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  2. Capable men are not very good at seeking advice, I find.

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    1. I think it makes them feel incapable. But that is very well phrased.

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  3. It can't be this difficult, is often heard here, if swear words start, I retreat.

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    1. Tim is not much of a swearer. He did say 'buggar!' Rather loudly which was a shock. He is not British.

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  4. Silence got the message. Thanks be for Levi!

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    1. I have learned that when talking is not helping, stop. 67 years it took me..

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  5. Good Lord, yes, men can be stubborn, although I have my stubborn ways as well. Humans seem to balk at asking for help because we are taught that rugged individualism is a praise-worthy attribute, and/or we might look weak or stupid or worse, vulnerable if we ask for help. As for my Hubs, he rarely asks for help because he wants things done HIS way, and others simply "make more work for him" when they help. I'm learning to ask for help more often.

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    1. I have been known to be a bit bullheaded myself.

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  6. And what happens when you put two stubborn men together? I think I know and the answer isn't good.

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    1. Probably not much different from when a stubborn man and a stubborn woman wind up under the same roof!

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  7. I think you have P's twin there.

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    1. Whatever you do, keep him away from swing staplers when he is frustrated.

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  8. I refuse to think that we men are stubborn.

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  9. Stubborn as hell. It's so frustrating and pointless.

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    1. I think it is fearbased with Tim. I will say that he is much more cheerful today. That problem was weighing on him.

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  10. Glen easily accepts advice on things that he knows others have more experience in. Plus, he finds Youtube videos on everything. "How to reline the brakes on a 1972 Cutlass" for example. I just made that up. But you know what I mean.
    However, I did challenge him on something a few days ago and he was NOT HAVING IT! He was very tired. And also angry about a situation.

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    1. You tube is one of Tim's most often consulted experts. He also consulted two books. I am not sure what was not 'clicking' but this became A. Very. Big. Deal. I kept trying to discuss it which only made him mad. Somehow, hearing it all from a quiet spoken man who has done the job many times made it come clear.

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  11. I would think it would be easier to search out the problem online, like Ms. Moon mentions. I've learned how to do so many things using that.
    Glad he worked it out and feels better today.

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    1. Normally you would be right. This time it was not working.

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  12. Oh boy! Bloody but unbowed, that's the 2 of you. That had to hurt, Debby. I can't do a stapler either, was quite a surprise to find that out as it used to be no problem. Stubborn, oh yeah. My guy too.

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    1. That is the first actual tool related accident I have had ( besides tripping over a table leg and banging myself up.

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  13. Yeah, I'm a man and I too have trouble seeking advice at times. People know me as someone who can do just about anything so I guess perhaps I feel as if I'm a phony if I'm asking for help. There is also the engineer in me who likes to figure out what makes things work they way they do. Finally, I find sometimes when I do ask, I get bad advice.

    I always recall that Red Green motto when talking about men as a species. "I'm a man, and I can change, if I have to, I guess."

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    1. He has been struggling for a couple weeks now. He is much more cheerful this morning.

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  14. Building a house is a huge project for the individual. There will be challenges.

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    1. The man needs to hear it from a man. Hearing it from his wife was NOT cutting it.

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  15. Seems like the inspectors would have caught the stairs thing when they approved your plans. Or maybe plans aren't that detailed? Anyway, glad it's not too difficult (I hope!) to solve.

    As for stubbornness, I can identify with that. Sometimes I just want to figure something out on my own.

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    1. We submitted the plans to the zoning office. To be honest, I don't know if the inspector even sees the plans. To further complicate things, our first inspector retired. We have a new inspector. He seems very nice...but he has some different ideas.

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  16. I've heard it said if the inspector doesn't find "something " he's not doing his job. Genie

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  17. I can't get over how you're doing this on your own. You are both amazing!

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  18. At first one thinks that inspectors are a nuisance but on a reflection I think they must help. Here where old houses are graded, therefore you have to ask permission if you want to change them structurally, we at least know that some protection is given. Glad you are saving Mangey.

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I'm glad you're here!

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