Enjoyable Day

Last night, disappointingly, I found myself unable to sleep. I think that the more time that I spend away from people, the more anxious I feel about being around them, if it makes any sense. When I went to bed last night, I didn't think I was fretting, but I found myself wondering if I should have volunteered at all. I mean, you can't call me an expert water person. Shoot. I can't even swim! What if the people there were all experts? What if I looked silly and ineffectual? What if they were resentful of having an old fart with a bad knee along for the ride. What if...

And on and on those thoughts ran. No matter how many times I told myself, "Listen up, asshole, you won't know if you don't try. You enjoyed kayaking," and that part is true. I did. I loved it. I've been wanting to go again, but William isn't interested. Tim won't go. My sister works too long of hours. I just don't have the confidence to head off on my own. 

I spent a large part of the beginning of the night fretting and sleepless. Then...wouldn't you know it?  I woke up about 4 am, sneezing and congested. I got up and took an allergy tablet, shut the window, and waited for the symptoms to ease back. Just before 5, they did. 

So...first thing this morning, I was up, and I was not ready to be up. I was as nervous as any kid on the first day of school. 

Tim dropped me off at the meet-up place, and we all signed our waivers, and I noticed right away that everyone else seemed to have their partners. Piper asked me to partner up, which made everything much better. For the first thing, she's an expert on the river. She and her partner own a business on the river that rents out canoes and kayaks, and she knows everything there is to know about the weather, the river, the dam output...she's got it all down to a fine art. 

Once we were out on the water, the magic set in. The quiet, and the chance to observe the details of the river...frogs and fish, and whole herds of water bugs passing by us and mindboggling speed. The fact that Piper and I have people in common was a big help too, and we talked easily and comfortably. She commented that I was a 'power stroker' (a strong paddler), which she didn't expect. I told her that I was not an experienced canoer and was glad to team up with someone who could offer up tips and advice. She said cheerfully that I needed to be on the water more. I could not disagree with that. 

We pulled a lot of water chestnut. setting it in the base of the canoe between us. We gathered so much of it, that at the end of it, when we came back to shore, people were helping me uncover my feet so that I could get out. We had 25 bags all together. 

Piper was glad for the help. She lives close to where we were working, and she said that she often comes out in the evening to pull it, but a couple hours working alone was nothing compared to what we managed to do as a group. She said, "I can only work a little bit after work," and I told her that if she ever wanted someone to join her, that I'd be glad to pitch in during the evenings. She said that she'd take me up on that, and I hope that she does. It would be a good way to gain skill and confidence. 

I walked home carrying my muck boots and admiring the day. The beans I had going in the crockpot turned out very well. I also took a good nap. 

Last night, an interesting thing happened. I was cutting up beans and I happened to look out the kitchen door and a new cat was staring at me from the mudroom door. Most of the ferals will watch you closely, but when you look at them, they get nervous and look away, usually move away. But this cat just stared. 

Intrigued, I went to the door to call it. It ran. 

This morning, I saw a lost cat: 

Boy. He is an image of the 'new' cat at my house. I sent a message to the person, but they haven't gotten back to me, so I cannot say whether it IS the same cat. Perhaps they found theirs. I don't know. He came back for supper tonight, though, and it would be great if he had a home.