The Horror!

 So yesterday Katie called. They needed a ride. I was having a puttering day, so I said I could do it. I had a small shopping list myself. 

Here, Christmas displays started going up well before Halloween. You had your 'welcome Autumn' decor aisle right next to your Halloween costumes and decor which was adjacent to your Thanksgiving displays which was in a direct sight line with your Christmas trees and tree decorations and the lights and the bows and wrapping paper. 

It truly is a confusing time of the year, but let's be real...I have become accustomed to this.

But, all that being said, as I browsed the aisle wasting time while they did their shopping, I was shocked to realize that I was listening to Christmas music. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. 

I said to the the woman on the other side of the aisle 'It just is too early to be hearing this!'

She said, "It makes me feel like I am behind, like I need to hurry up!"

And that is what they want, for everyone to spend more time in the stores. 

But not really. 

Before my daughter's wedding, we were doing a lot of multitasking. Tim had an appointment to get a vehicle inspection done. I needed to order the cake, find a topper, look for a picture frame, get a card, buy pantyhose, etc. Lots of boxes needed ticking that day. 

The thing was, there was no sense in rushing, because Tim would not be back for a while, so I moved through the store at a leisurely pace. I took my time selecting the cake and talking to the sweet woman in the bakery. 

I browsed the floral department to pick the bouquet. 

I ran into a friend I had literally not seen in years. Unbelievably, we were both looking for pantyhose. We eventually found it, but we were yakking the whole time. 

Over to home decor to look through their picture frames, then to the Christmas aisles to try to find something to work for a cake topper, which was not far from the clearance aisle, and lord knows, I always check the clearance. Etc. 

So I was meandering through the store taking my good old sweet time when I realized I was being watched. A casually dressed gentleman seemed to be reappearing no matter where I was. He didn't hover, but I noticed him passing by me as I walked, or suddenly appearing and disappearing at the end of the aisle I was in. 

It happened often enough that it just made me want to finish up and get out of the store. I don't even know why. I knew I was not doing anything wrong, but just the fact that they thought I was was enough for me. When I did the self checkout, the attendant watched me closely. That was the giveaway. 

I paid for my stuff, got a printed receipt and waited out front in the cold for 20 min. until Tim got back to pick me up. 

I mean, I get it, but still, it was an uncomfortable situation.

Fast forward. Same big box store, different location. Two weeks later. I was just running in, a quick stop...I needed to buy a larger ice chest. Of course, while I was there, I decided to pick up a pound of sausage and a pound of ground beef to make meatballs at my son's house. I was speedwalking because I had 40 pounds of frozen chicken breast in the back of the car that did not all fit in the cooler I had.

I got up to the self check out and I wasn't the only one speedwalking. The attendant zipped right over and asked to look inside the empty cooler.  

I had the little gun in my hand as I rang up my meat and two other things I had grabbed in passing. I put them into the empty cooler. I said, "you know, I do understand why you watch everyone, but really, it is a little humiliating...' 

I replaced the gun and reached for my purse, still talking.

The attendant said, "You are going to scan the cooler, right?"

Mortified, I could only say, "I would have figured out that I had not scanned it when I saw the total."

I hope I am smart in my next life. GADS!