Monday, December 22, 2025

People

 People are funny animals, aren't they?

We have got an uncomfortable situation going on in one of  our buildings. 

We became aware of it when the guy made a very pointed remark about another tenant. 

Startled me a bit. I said, 'is there a problem?'

He snapped, 'I ain't saying anything. I need a place to live.'

I was shocked. I said, 'We have no reason to evict you. You have been a good tenant, but she has too.'

He snapped in a disgusted voice, 'I see that he couldn't even be honest about who he was...'

Ah. That is the problem, I thought to myself. It surprised me. I met him at his nephew's wedding. His nephew is gay. 

I leaned my arms on the side of his truck and said it plainly, "listen, we are aware that she is transgendered. I saw no need to check what is in her pants. Didn't look in yours, either."

He laughed disgustedly and shook his head.

About the same time, the other tenant came down. 

I thought the situation had been made clear, but it has not. It may have even escalated a little bit. During the last snowstorm, she offered to help shovel. That set him off.

The thing is, he has a temper. We know this. But they live in the same building, and we can't have him terrorizing another tenant either. 

I made a point of talking to his brother. I said, 'I am just going to ask the question. Is your brother dangerous?"

The answer was careful. "Why?"

I gave the briefest of answers, but almost immediately, he figured it out. His brother had vented evidently.

He said that his brother did have a temper, but did not feel it would cross over to violence. He suggested that our tenant just avoid making eye contact. Mind her own business. Don't try to speak to him.

I said, 'That is fair enough. Our advice will be the same to him as well." 

His brother agreed but hesitated. "It is the history, mostly."

"Your brother alluded to that. I know you all grew up together..."

He said, "yeah..." and related a prank that had gone awry with tragic consequences. From the thumbnail sketch, it happened in junior high school. 12 or 13 years old.

I said, "you know, I kind of think that she has paid a heavy price for this. It sounds like she has had a lot of counseling. She has always been good and helpful to us

 I think of all the dumb things I did as a kid that could have had consequences just as devastating.

He agreed. 

Strange isn't it? A fifty-something year old man feels justified to mete out punishment 45 years later for something that was not considered criminal.

Hopefully he will settle down, but he called this morning. One of his complaints was about the Christmas cards we left for each of our tenants. We had a gift card in each one. He would rather we just apply the money to his rent from now on. 

Sometimes, people just say 'thanks' when they get a gift. 

People story number 2:

Tim goes to a new church now that we have moved. He is comfortable there. His father preached there years back.. One of the elders recognized the name. "You are practically royalty!' Made Tim laugh. But I think it makes him feel the church is familiar and comfortable. He is a shy person, quiet by nature.

He brought home a few Christmas cards he had been given. "Could you make out some cards for me?" 

As I was doing it, one of the names caught my eye immediately. I made a little noise and he looked at me. "What?"

The man had graduated from high school with my parents. 2 months later, he was best man at their wedding. It was a surprise to see the name pop up all over again. 

I made out the card. "Invite him and his wife to dinner sometime.."

So Sunday, he went back to church with his handful of cards. As he was talking to the old gentleman and his wife, another woman was surprised to learn that Tim had a wife, and had a few questions about why I did not attend. 

It would have been interesting to hear how Tim answered the questions. Like I said, he is pretty quiet and not given to lengthy explanations.

The woman said, "well, just tell her you've got a girlfriend at church! That will get her here."

Tim said, "No. She is not like that."

I am not like that either, mostly because he isn't like that. We laughed when he told me about it. "Quite a church you have found there, Mister. Married men going there to find girlfriends..." 

People are strange.





32 comments:

  1. Your tenant is angry it sounds like, and angry men scare me.As for the church, interesting church:)

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    1. I just don't understand that level of rage. It is unwarranted and in my mind seems to be a bit irrational.

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  3. How very sad it is when you find people who - to all intents and purposes - seem like reasonable people and then you find they are nursing bile and hate.

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    1. It came as a bit of a shock, that's for sure.

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  4. A sad situation. Holding so much anger cannot be good for him or anyone else

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    1. I guess that is the part I don't quite understand: everyone has people they don't like and you just give them wide berth, but this seems to be rage. I don't understand.

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  5. So sad to hold judgement and anger for so long.

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  6. The church story is quirky. The tenant situation is sad. I had hoped he had gotten over his hissy fit and decided to live and let live. Why let anger fester inside when it doesn't affect him at all. Difficult situation. . .

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  7. I'd be very careful around the angry tenant. Imagine how it must be for the tenant he's complaining about. Sometimes it's not so good to have known people all your life!

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    1. We have talked to his 'target'. She has been instructed that she needs we are aware of the situation. If she feels threatened at all, we are to be notified immediately. We check in with her regularly. For her part, she seems very unbothered. She is well practiced in dealing with discrimination and prejudice in a very nonconfrontational way. She approaches everything in a very thoughtful manner.

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  8. I continued to go to church after I became an atheist out of consideration for others. Then the ‘other’ decided to also stop going for her own reasons. That was more than a half lifetime ago. I don’t want to go back, but I am not sorry for being brought up that way.

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    1. I came late to that setting. I was in my 30s. I have heard people grateful for that upbringing. I have also heard harrowing stories. I guess a good church can be a positive thing.

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  9. Just listen and pay attention to the tenant that is complaining. Sometimes it can grow in a person's mind until he might hurt someone. Sounds like Tims church is a very friendly church. The one I attend is also and I get the hugs I miss so much through the week Living alone is very hard at times. I told the pastor I pray for another man to come take me to lunch, so I always sit one seat from the end of the pew incase my man shows up. We get a good laugh from it and sometimes the pastor looks back and cannot keep from smiling. Never know. I met my husband at church.

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    1. We are paying very close attention. We have never had this situation before, but this is not going to be ignored. I come from a volatile family. We will not put up with this in our house.

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  10. Your second story--wow, it's a small world alright. Your FIRST story, that dude had a lot of nerve. I need to go back and reread that! Anyway--you gave your tenants gift-cards in their cmas cards? And he honestly complained you should've applied it towards his rent?!! I'm sorry but that's so awful it made me laugh out loud Debby! If I don't talk to you again, Merry Christmas my dear blog-friend. :^)

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    1. We gave $25 gift cards from the grocery store. We figured that everyone eats..

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  11. There is an old saying, here in Yorkshire - there's nowt so queer as folk - best said in a Yorkshire accent. The older I get, the more I think it is so true. Perhaps I had better add that the saying uses queer in the traditional sense of 'odd', rather than in the modern sense of the word.

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    1. You know, I think I heard it first from Tasker. It pops into my head often. I am not sure that I have the Yorkshire accent though!

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  12. I would not have found the brother's assessment of the man's chances of becoming violent very comforting. And if I were the other tenant, I would feel very, very uncomfortable.

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    1. We are in no way comforted. We are keeping tabs on it. Close tabs. The tenant believes it will settle down after the holidays.

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  13. I would not give him a Christmas gift nor reduce his rent for such ingratitude. It's a bit difficult, and even if they avoid contact, it will be uncomfortable for both of them when they bump into each other. I think that is about the best you can do. I am sure neither want to jeopardise their tenancies.
    I can guess your parting shot at Tim each Sunday when he sets off for church.

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    1. We'll just leave him off the list next year. Tim thinks he will be gone. I don't think he will. He knows he is getting a good deal where he is at. It would behoove him to settle down.

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  14. It is impossible to please some people, also impossible to please all the people, unfortunately. I can see why you are worried. A difficult situation. My hope is that this disgruntled man finds another place to live. Would that he could just open his mind a bit!

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    1. It would solve the problem. He has been a perfectly good tenant for 3 and a half years.

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  15. With regard to your angry tenant, that guy has some serious issues. Carrying and transferring something that happened 45 years ago to another person is ridiculous and wrong. Your answer to him was perfect.

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    1. It just puzzles me that he is taking something so personally that really didn't affect him personally all those years ago. I believe it is probably just an excuse.

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  16. Your angry tenant is also ungrateful. I would hate to be his neighbor. He sounds like trouble. And… What a nosy woman at that church. It’s none of her business if you choose to not go. People are indeed strange. Cali

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    1. He is acting like a school yard bully. It will not be allowed to escalate.

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People

 People are funny animals, aren't they? We have got an uncomfortable situation going on in one of  our buildings.  We became aware of it...