Moving

Just an explanation: We have not moved the computer to the new house so I'm posting and commenting from my phone which is a much slower process for me, so posting might be a bit spotty until that move happens. Of course, before we do that, we've got to build the computer desk. And figure out how to manage wi-fi. We're thinking that we'll buy the $100 phone card for one of our phones which will permit us to use it as a hotspot, but we've never done that before. It's all new. 

Freddie and Houdi seem to be settling in okay. After a few scares, Houdi seems perfectly content to be an indoor cat, and I'm perfectly content with his decision. Freddie, though? We had a few go arounds. We don't want him out at night. He's smart enough to know that what 'no!' means, I'll give him that. He quit yowling at night, but as soon as he hears us up and about, he heads straight for the door and sits there politely until he is let out. He generally spends the day outside but at night he returns to the porch where he sits quietly waiting to be let back in. 

We have not seen the bear since his first visit last week. However, it is worth noting that we haven't seen the deer either, which makes me wonder if the bear is somewhere close by. That is interesting to us and something we are keeping a close eye on. 

We had to buy a trash can this week, and for the first time in a long, long time, we had to think about raccoon- and bear-proof ones. While no can is 100% effective with bears (due to their size) a galvanized metal one with a tight fitting lid will prevent the enticing aroma of your trash from encouraging the bear to investigate. However if they do investigate, prying the lid off will make enough racket that  you will know they are out there and can shoo them away. We've got motion detector lights set up to let us know as well. 

Of course, I'm composting again, so who knows how that experiment will turn out. My rotating composter is not bear proof. Life's for learning, I guess. We might have to build an enclosure for both the composter (and the garbage too, if it comes to that.)

Life has become much quieter despite all the things that we are doing. The biggest shock to me is how much money one doesn't spend when the are not pouring it into a renovation or a new house. We've still got to get the house sided. We've still got some things to do, of course, and I don't see that changing any time soon. 

I think however, Tim is learning to take pleasure in spending time working on his own house. He built an addition to his tool shed for his stuff, and carefully outfitted it with shelves and storage, and he was so pleased with how it turned out inside that he needed me to come and look. He's got plans for his garage, too. 

I will admit a shameful thing. Things had been getting quite rough between the two of us. I just felt as if we were moving in two different spheres. He had his ideas. I had mine. I wanted to stop. When I retired from my job, my plan was to go to visit my granddaughters every month or so. I wanted time to go kayaking with William, volunteer for Head Start, things like that. 

Tim did not want to stop, and he just kept pushing and pushing. He began talking about buying another house when Mia's mortgage comes through. This made me mad and I dug in my heels. He began to push back.

I began to be very resentful. I did not want to go to work every day. I got tired of hearing him say, "I need you to do 'x' and 'y' " with the implication that I was simply going to do it, day after day. If I didn't do it, I felt very guilty because I wasn't doing my share, even though I had literally begged for him not to buy this last house. I felt as if I had traded one boss for another, and this boss followed me home at night.

Now the renovation has been taken over, that workload is gone, and while we may be working on our house, it is our house and there is a pleasure in doing for yourself. I have time to do the things that are important to me. Tim is a lot less demanding. He has stopped talking about the next house. In return, I'm not nearly as bristly with him. The dynamics of our relationship has changed.

Today, I met him at the old house to bring a load of stuff back to the new house. He gave me a bouquet of flowers.

Surprised, I said, "What are those for?"

He said, "Because I wanted to."