Tim's been not himself for a while, and I've been concerned. He is coming back to himself though, and that is gratifying.
There's been ~um...~ a situation ~ that was purposely set on the back burner because it was not the time to trouble him I put my big girl panties on and just kept it to myself, but it was troubling me.
Yesterday, I had plans to go pay my respects at a funeral home. I've been just dragging for a couple days now. Yesterday, it became clear. I woke up with a headache, a wicked sore throat, and sick to my stomach. Body aches. It got worse as the day went on. So. I didn't go anywhere.
Tim stuck around home as well and during the course of the day, the topic finally came up. "Tim, I want to talk to you about something that has really been bothering me a lot." And I laid it all out. This has been a terribly stressful and worrisome time. I imagine that it was for both of us. He listened quietly, as is his nature. He told me that we were in agreement on the subject. We discussed it a little. He's not much of a talker. Never has been and that has caused a lot of problems for me in 25 years of marriage.
He sat quietly after I stopped talking. Finally, he ended up picking up a remote a turning on the television when he saw that I was done talking.
That made me mad. I mean, sometimes, I just need to know that he's listening.
So he watched a couple cop shows while I fumed quietly to myself.
After a couple hours, he said, "Well, I'm headed to bed. Coming?"
I said, "You know, I'm not sure where I am sleeping tonight." I'd had two hours to stoke a good head of steam and I was sick, I was mad, and I was feeling as if there was no resolution.
So...he went to bed without me. I slept on the couch watching a Netflix movie. The Starling, in case you're interested. Don't watch it unless you're in a mood to bawl your eyes out.
This morning, I got William up and moving. Tim eventually came downstairs and greeted me cheerfully. William was in the shower, and so I hissed, "Please don't Tim. I'm really mad at you right now."
He looked surprised. "Why?"
"Well, because I laid out something that was really troubling me. Something that you agreed was a problem and then you offer nothing in the way of resolution, You sit down and watch a couple television shows and go to bed. I'm really, REALLY, REALLY pissed. "
And he said, "Well, I decided the best way to handle it is..." and he laid out how he intends to handle the situation.
I said, "you sat there and you said nothing...."
He said, "Well, I didn't know that you wanted to hear what I was going to do..."
"Tim, that is called a discussion. One of us starts it. The other one listens, counters or agrees, and a solution is reached jointly. Of course you needed to voice your solution. That's how I know that we have reached an understanding."
He looked as if he's never heard this before. I can assure you that he has.
25 years people. 25 years.