Saturday, January 21, 2023

Thinking

 Today we took a quick run north of the border: (To us, that's New York state.) We can buy milk up there for $2.38 a gallon which is half the price of getting it here. We also like to stop at a produce store to pick up a 40 pound box bananas for the Amish. It's always good to eyeball what they have on sale as well. Today I found broccoli crowns for 99 cents a pound. The best part was that they cut off all the stems so that all you're paying for is the edible part. Since I had a turkey carcass boiling down at home, I quickly decided that it was destined to become cream of broccoli soup.

But the thing is that I walked into the store, Tim behind me. I can be an oblivious sort, esp. when I'm scanning the place for specials. I noticed a woman but it didn't register really, just a peripheral observation, 'gray haired lady, pink dress, slightly left', and I turned right and headed on. Behind me I heard Tim say 'hello', and my brain whirred, and it clicked. 

I had walked right past my own sister. It was the second time in over 11 years that we had crossed paths. 

There was a split moment where I felt as if I should turn around, but she ignored Tim. I kept my face neutral and continued on. 

It's one of those things that can never be explained, and it is pointless to try, but I've been thinking all night about the twists and turns of families, about broken things which will never be mended. 


29 comments:

  1. That would be weird and would make me feel sick. I am estranged from most of my late husband's family and even though we live in the same area, I haven't yet run into them. I don't know how I would react if I did. Broken things that will never be mended, yes, you've said it perfectly. I've mended myself after all the hurt and anguish of their treatment and I can't take the chance that they might break me again.

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    1. The chaos made me just sick inside for years. Removing the chaos from my life makes things so much easier. Seeing her was a surprise, but it doesn't matter anymore.

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  2. Ah, Household Management criticises me for not eating broccoli stalks. Clearly I am not the only one.

    It's sad about your sister but it happens for whatever reason or none.

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    1. Indeed you are NOT the only one. I never knew that they were edible. We're talking about the thick stem at the bottom of the head, right? The thing that can be as thick as my wrist?

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  3. I am sorry to read of the astrangement between you and your sister. It must have been hard just to ignore her as she did you and Tim.

    I hope you enjoyed the Cream of Broccoli soup.

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    1. Oh, that is supper tonight! I boned the turkey when I got home, and diced it all up and returned it to the broth with onion and left it to simmer in a crock pot over night. This morning I got up and added the chopped up broccoli. I love cream of broccoli soup, and we will surely enjoy it. I am going to make some nice bread to go with it.

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  4. One of Sue’s sisters has estranged herself from the family, even her own family.

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  5. Family dynamics are truly strange. Of my 6 siblings, one estranged exactly like you described. Do not lose sleep over it, life is too short.

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  6. Debby, sitting here reading (and smiling) about the broccoli soup and bananas for the Amish, and then... my God, how strange & sad. And sadder still that this is so common. I have a sister who disappeared when she was 19, returned when she was 47 and wonders why half her family wants little to do with her. And a brother who hasn't spoken to anyone since the 1980s. And the older we all get, family members have given up trying.

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  7. It is sad when families grow apart but it happens sometimes for reasons unknown or not always understood. I am sorry you have lost your sister. One of my sons has been drifting away and no matter how I try to reach out, it doesn't always seem to help.

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    1. The decision to shut that door was ultimately my decision.

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  8. Great shopping trip, though sad about the sister. Families are a bit weird. Sometimes sibs are so unlike that they can't figure out how to get along, and birth order is a big factor.

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  9. I've come to understand that most families are messed up; it's not just mine.

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  10. I think we all have family stories that are heartbreaking. I know I do. I'm sorry that you do too. Blood definitely does not ensure a relationship, does it?
    As to the broccoli- if you peel the stems and then slice them lengthwise, they are quite edible.

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    1. The stems are my favorite part of broccoli! Hubby gets the crowns and I get the stems.

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    2. I honestly never knew that about broccoli, which amazes me. I always put the stems with the carrot and potato peelings and vegetable scraps to go to the rabbit who lives under a building at the retirement property. Bones and fat and meat waste are bagged up and left for the foxes or the coyotes.

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    3. I always peel the stems and slice them.

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    4. You know, thanks to all of you. I wandered off and had myself a good read about broccoli stems. I never knew this before. I learn a lot of things from reading blogs, and now I've learned something from my own blog. Thanks everyone!

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  11. Some good deals! With prices these days you really have to watch.

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    1. That 40 lb box of bananas? It costs $10. The price went up by $2 since we last bought them. I'd never buy bananas in the quantity for Tim and I, but when we drop them off at Mattie's house, they have 8 children, plus themselves, plus grandma. The first time she bought bananas home it made me laugh to see all the children lined up to wave goodbye, each of them with a banana in their hands! She tells me that the box of bananas will be gone in the matter of a few days, and that she rarely gets any to make banana bread.

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  12. Okay, you have TWO sisters. (maybe more siblings?) That resolves something that confused me earlier. My brothers were estranged for ten years, but finally healed the rift. You never know what will happen.

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    1. I have two sisters and one brother. Two of them are estranged. One sister is my dearest friend. A reconciliation is not possible.

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  13. I probably couldn't count the times I've walked by someone I knew without noticing them, especially out of context of where I normally see them.

    I can't imagine the mental struggle of dealing with such an issue. I hope I never know what it feels like.

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  14. Wow. That must have been so surreal. I'm sorry you have this broken family connection, but sometimes things like that happen for good reasons.

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  15. It will NOT let me sign in to comment! Aargh. That would be like seeing a ghost. My aunt spent years not talking to my mother, and never let her know what sin she had committed - then she resumed communication as if nothing had happened, but Mum was wary for years. More recently, the Aunt erred on something (and knowing the story, definitely Aunt) and Dad called her out of it - they got another few months of silence.

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  16. BTW that was me, Jeanie

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    1. We are talking about some pretty egregious behavior, which will simply not be acknowledged. In the end, it became setting boundaries.

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  17. I am estranged from my youngest child, in his 30s. I doubt we will make peace, so I hear you. A difficult child, he is gainfully employed at StatsCan, and seems to be doing fine, or so I hear when I grill his brother and sister. I think this is all I can hope for.

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  18. Oh Debby... I'm sorry. This is really hard. My sister-in-law has the same problem with her older sister. My husband has one sister and I have one brother. Thank goodness we all get along because there's nobody else.

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