Wednesday, January 25, 2023

Puh-IIIIIISSSSED...


 Last night was an awful night. As usual, Tim's coughing got better with the morning. 

I nudged him though. "When are you going to the walk-in clinic?"

Him: "Well, I'm not coughing

Me: (Incredulously) "But Tim, you will be tonight."

Him: "There's not sense going in if I'm not coughing." 

Me: "But it ALWAYS comes back at night!" 

Him: "But I'm not coughing now." 

I saw how it was going to go. He does that, and it drives me crazy. He gets an idea in his head, and he just keeps repeating his opinion over and over until I either get too frustrated to continue the conversation, or just quietly give up. 

Today it was the former. Several times, I brought it up. "You said you'd go to the clinic. You promised."

Him: "But I'm not coughing now." 

We had this conversation several times today. Sure as sheep, about 2 PM, he began to cough. After several minutes of this, I got irked. "I don't understand why you are being so stubborn about this. You need to be checked out!" (Disclaimer: I didn't sound nearly as polite as  this reads)

And finally, Tim says, "Okay. Let's go to the walk-in clinic." 

By then it is raining and snowing both, and I need to get William from school, and I am pissed about the delay. I take him to the clinic, drop him off and head back over to get William and then back over to wait with Tim. 

I had it all rehearsed. I was going to be polite, but firm. I had questions for the doctor. 

Except that I get there and HE HAS ALREADY BEEN SEEN! "What did they say?" I asked. And he said, "I got a steroid again, this time a shot, and I have to get a prescription of benzonatate. 

All the things that he's already done. All the things that did not work. 


I am so mad at him. 

34 comments:

  1. Oooo I feel for you, I have one of those in the house too. Silver lining: at least yours TAKES the medication prescribed.

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    1. He usually doesn't. The fact that he is now is a sign that he is not well.

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  2. Have you told him that if he dies, his headstone is going to read, "I should have listened to my wife"?
    My Lord, but he is stubborn. I would be so pissed too.

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    1. Right now I am taking a little break from talking to him because if I talk to him I will be yelling my head off and I don't want to upset William.

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  3. I am pretty pissed off with the doctor. Chest Xray at the very least. How very frustrating. But then Tim isn't exactly helping the situation either. You have my deepest sympathy (as I try not to laugh too much - we have all been there with stubborn men!)

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    1. He is definately not helping. He bucks and bulls every step of the way. He's never been really sick before. He's pretty frustrating. I get tired of arguing with him about things. I need a little break, I think.

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  4. Definitely a pisser. I wouldn't be able to talk to him until I stopped fuming. A chest x-ray is called for at least! And the steroids not only didn't help but they keep people awake. They are the enemy of sleep! Gahhh! I'm sorry.

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    1. Well, I'm sleeping tonight, that's all I know.

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  5. I'd be pissed too. I wonder how much Tim is downplaying it to the doc.

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    1. I'm sure that he tells them that he has a bad cough. He would not be one to ask questions, or to wonder why he is being prescribed what already didn't work. He'd never say 'I think we need to figure out what's going on here.'

      It's just frustrating, because if he would have simply gotten up and gone, I could have gone with him. I am an excellent 'yeah, but...' woman.

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  6. Replies
    1. Don't you come in here starting your mess either, Mr! (LOL)

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  7. Is there an emergency room you can go to? Take him at night when he is coughing like mad

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    1. We do have an ER, and that is not off the table.

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    2. Good..I would have been tempted to turn him right around , march him back in and tell them...this has already been tried and failed....

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  8. Go to different doc, different clinic. He needs an xray. You must go into the appointment with him. Old grumpy RN in Kansas, Linda

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    1. He does need a different doctor. Most of the doctors belong to a medical group owned by UPMC here, which means they have some strict oversight going on. They need to see x amount of patients daily, spending x amount of time with them. The goal is that the doctor to patient time is minimized to maximize profit. His doctor is an independent. He refused to sign up into that. He works alone and is semi retired. I go to a doctor outside the 'group' as well. He has a number of like minded physician assistants and nurse practitioners who work with him. It's not as rigid and there is more time to discuss and more flexibility. (I love my doctor, who is a p.a.) She is practical and funny, and doesn't hesitate to order tests if she feels they are warranted. Tim needs to be seen in a place like that. Unfortunately, they are not taking new patients.

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  9. Stubborn men can be soooo infuriating. I once got so exasperated with P I tore off my glasses and flung them across the room whilst shouting. Of course then followed an undignified myopic stumble around to try to find them.

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    1. Many years ago, I was arguing with Tim about something, turned sharply with a plastic trash bin in my hand and broke out the oven glass, if you can believe such a thing. It made him furious, and shocked me stupid. We rarely argue, quite honestly, but when we do, the thing usually has something to do with one or the other refusing to give an inch.

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  10. If it's a productive cough, a sputum test will identify the infection and treat it specific to that bacteria.

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    1. He's had a sputum test, before Christmas. The nurse called to tell Tim that he'd have to discuss the results with the doctor. The doctor said everything was fine and prescribed the second round of antibiotics. That was one of the things that I had some pretty pointed questions about for the walk-in clinic.

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  11. It is kind of a rock and a hard place situation. Going to walk-in clinics means they will often treat the most common diagnosis that he was already treated for. Going to a doctor repeatedly who can't seem to figure it out isn't much better. You have my sympathies.

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    1. Yes. The tiniest correction, however, 'going to a doctor repeatedly who is also treating the most common diagnosis'. This doctor gave Tim a lecture about the covid vax. He seems to think that they are worthless because 'people think if you get them, you can't get covid...but you can...' We know this. We got it because people who get it have fewer of the most serious complications. He didn't come for a covid vax lecture. TBH, I left him due to his politics, years back.

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  12. I'm betting he's frightened and doesn't want to admit it. For God's sake, get him a chest x-ray whether he likes it or not. Pitch a total fit until he complies. I don't want to scare you (any more than you're already scared) but my husband was stubborn about going to the doctor when he had a constant cough (and kept getting various infections) and he had lung cancer. He's fine now, but it was a long hard road to recovery.

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    1. Does sleeping in a different room count as a total fit? I hope so. He made me so mad. If he's going to choose to cough all night, I can choose to sleep in a guest bedroom.

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  13. I hope he will go for tests soon so you can all get some relief.

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    1. We'll have to see what happens next. Only his doctor can order tests. We can push for that (I'd have to be with him, because he won't.) Only a doctor can refer him to a specialist. We can push for that as well.

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  14. Oh, lord. I can see why you're frustrated. I can only second what everyone else has already said -- take him to an ER when he's actively coughing at night and demand an x-ray.

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  15. Why don't you get Tim to read this post and comments Debby?

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  16. After a bout of the flu in November, I had a terrible lingering cough. So bad I would gag at times. The only way I could get any rest was to spray my throat with sore throat spray and then I could rest for 45 minutes until it wore off. My Dr. prescribed Hydrocodone pills to knock it down and it worked beautifully. 1 pill and the cough was almost gone. He told me the cough reflex can get overstimulated and the pills relax the stimulus. Best

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    1. That might well be what is happening here. Thanks for the suggestion.

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  17. I agree about needing a different doctor!

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