One of the things that we've been trying to wean William from is his love of 'gaming'. It's quite an addiction with him and left to his own devices (no pun intended) he would be on a device for hours at a time. He has a one hour time limit. He can read to earn a bonus hour on weekends. He pushes back. He complains that he's 'bored!' or 'I don't have anything to do!"
Now, he has plenty of things that he could be doing. He doesn't have to be bored. But when I begin to list things off that he could do, the response is invariably, "I don't feel like doing that." By design, it leads us right back to having time on his tablet. It gets exhausting really.
This morning, he got up and accomplished his list of morning chores. Then he headed straight to his tablet for his hour.
When his hour was up, I set him to a task. He likes to draw little cartoons and he's really quite good at it. The previous afternoon, I skyped with my grandaughter and I read her a book that I had picked up.
It is a gentle story about a little mouse who wakes up when a breeze tickles his ear. It sets off a chain of events that winds up waking up all creatures great and small. She loved the pictures and the simple story. I told her that the book was going in an envelope to be mailed out to her, and she shouted "YAY!"
She was so excited about it that I got the idea. I made up a short little story about a fly who lands on a little girl's nose while she's sleeping, which causes her to awake with an 'EEK!' which sets the dog to barking, which makes her baby sister wake up and begin to cry, which makes her mama jump out of bed to run down the hall calling reassurances, and her father falls out of bed with a bump and a thud and yells at the dog, who gets put outside. The lilttle fly sneaks out as well. I handed the little pamphlet to William to read and asked him if he thought he could illustrate it. He spent the rest of the morning creating his 'concept drawings' (his words, which made me laugh). We made a cover for it (written by Grandma, Illustrated by William.) He took the utmost care. The illustrations were adorable.
It certainly made the morning go by and there was no talk about his tablet.
Grandpa had promised him a trip to Burger King as a treat for lunch. I don't need fast food, so I stayed home to start a load of laundry and put the kitchen ro rights.
When they got back, before the word 'tablet' or 'bored' could even be uttered, I said from the sink, "William, I need you to proof some yeast for me so that we can bake some bread." He complained a little. "I don't even know how to do that!" I said, "Well, you can listen and I'll tell you."
It wasn't long until he was measuring out the water, testing the temperature, adding the sugar and the yeast. He was excited to see it begin to foam. He measured the flour out and put the dough hook on the mixer. There was no talk about being bored.
While we were waiting for the rise to complete, we sat down at the kitchen table and read a couple of chapters of Harry Potter.
We got up to punch down the dough, give it another knead before putting the round loaf on the baking sheet. He used the kitchen scissors to make the x in the top of the loaf.
He wandered off to read the book he was reading for an hour so that he could have his extra hour of tablet time. Klawde is a funny book and I could hear him cackling at the warlord cat.
He did get his tablet time after supper and when it was over he did not argue. He put it on the charger, got out his baking clay and made a creature that he had read about.
While it baked in the oven, he played with an especially friendly Houdini.
It felt like a successful day.
All I have to do is duplicate it tomorrow.
You're a wonderfully inventive leader. He's going to develop all kinds of skills around you.
ReplyDeleteThat is the goal.
DeleteYou are doing well.
ReplyDeleteI actually believe that, which is kind of cool. I never felt all that successful as a mom, but I'm really rocking this grandma gig!
DeleteA successful day but not without its challenges.
ReplyDeleteYou're right!
DeleteI'm reading a book right called "Lessons In Chemistry" that reminded me of William baking bread. Baking, especially, is all about chemistry and good for William, learning how to make bread and learning a life skill.
ReplyDeleteJack likes to help in the kitchen as well. He's a picky eater and I find he eats much better when he helps me cook what he's going to be eating.
I've always wanted to be able to draw. I imagine William was very happy to see his drawings in book form, to be sent to his cousin. All of this a much better way of spending his day than on a video game.
He's lucky to have you and your husband.
I need to get that book, as it is our next book club read. Is it good?
DeleteNot good, fantastic!
DeleteAnd just like that, I've added another book to my list!
DeleteMy grandson has one hour of computer or game time each day, if he does not keep track of time and runs over, he loses the hour for the next day. He now sets a timer to make sure he is off whatever device a minute or so before his hour is up.
ReplyDeleteHow funny. Exactly the routine here. William can choose to read for an hour, and earn himself an extra hour on weekends.
DeleteA book illustrator in the making !
ReplyDeleteHe could be, I imagine. I should have taken pictures of his little drawings from our book.
DeleteHe sounds like a talented young man.
ReplyDeleteHe has many talents, but hasn't really had a chance to develop them.
DeleteThe games can be so addictive - rather in fact, like me keeping up with friends and learning things on the computer. Time flies by. I can sympathise with him finding the tablet hard to put down - old habits die hard. Well done to you for keeping him occupied and interested.
ReplyDeleteI like my computer time as well. It is how I begin my day, and end it too.
DeleteThere's never a dull moment in your house. Encourage that creativity Debby.
ReplyDeleteUnless you talk to William, who complains about the dull moments.
DeleteWow. I know how challenging dealing with tablets and gaming can be with kids. Congratulations, take that day as a win! Sometimes they are few and far between.
ReplyDeleteWe're fairly lucky with this boy. The winning days come pretty regularly. BTW, my husband loved Breaking Bad and he got quite a kick out of your blog post!
DeleteWe had our grandkids for 35 weeks during lockdown, alternating weeks. It was quite the time!
ReplyDeleteWe don't mind having him around, but he is a grandkid, not grandkids, and I imagine that makes a bit of a difference right there.
DeleteYou get all gold stars on your grandma chart for yesterday! Beautiful alternatives to the deep pull of the screen.
ReplyDeleteReal life is pretty important and I don't want him to miss it.
DeleteI think every parent/grandparent everywhere struggles with this. I don't know how modern kids stay so deeply immersed in their devices. When I used to play video games (granted, this was back in the "Space Invaders" era) I could only do it for an hour or two (and only on Saturdays) before I felt cross-eyed and had to go do something else.
ReplyDeleteIf you read about it, the games are actually causing a chemical response in the brain, and that chemical response is something that the body becomes addicted to.
DeleteIt's a struggle to keep kids away from their screens but it sounds like you're doing a great job of suggesting activities that he likes and involving him in projects. Prior to computers and cell phones, my daughters would get bored and ended up finding other pursuits. Boredom is why my older daughter is an accomplished artist and my younger is an excellent musician.
ReplyDeleteLeft to his own, he is actually good at entertaining himself. It's just when he gets in a mindset to be on the tablet, he can't think of anything else.
DeleteOne nana’s solution to the kids’ “I’m bored” complaints was to give them chores to fill their time; the kids quickly got quite good at finding their own pastimes!
ReplyDeleteI simply point out that boredom is a choice and then I back off and let him decide what he's going to do about it. Today is the high holy day of football for my husband. I was reading a book. It was cold and snowing, a very wet snow. He called his mom. He drew. He read both to himself, and the funny passages to me. I offered to read to him, but he was busy.
DeleteYes we limit our children too. They only get to use their electronics on weekends and for limited amounts of time. We found their behavior much different when they are limited than it when they get unlimited amounts of time, such as when we are on a long car trip. Well worth it.
ReplyDeleteI have also squashed their attempts to tell me they are bored in order to gain more electronic time. After a few stick picking up or room cleaning sessions, they learned that reading their book is better!
That's the whole thing right here in your third sentence "We found their behavior much different..." Exactly. Exactly what we have seen. If we can disrupt his pattern, he is agreeable, and helpful and talkative. If he gets too much time on it, what we see is that it becomes an issue of 'no amount of time is enough'. That's when he gets sulky and grumpy and pushing to get more time. It creates a monster. Literally.
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