Tuesday, August 16, 2022

Defies Logic

 While I was away in England early last spring, the inclement weather and the fact that Tim was not yet retired (which kept him kind of close to home) led him to explore television a bit more. Up to this point, he's not been all that interested in it really. Anyways, once I was home, I discovered my husband had a new habit. I call it screaming mimi tv. 

You know the shows I am talking about: guests get on and scream at each other, sometimes have to be physically separated. Paternity test results are read. Lie detector tests are given and liars revealed on prime time. More screaming...one party in joy...another in hysterical denial...crazy stuff. 

So when I began hearing fighting and screaming from the office, I began to walk in to see what he was up to, and I was shocked. Tim is a very quiet person. He doesn't appreciate yelling and screaming and noisy public scenes, but here he was.  

"Really, Tim?" I'd say, but not much more than that, because really, I have to admit to being a bit of a true crime junkie. (Dateline, for example.) Tim hates shows like that. 

So anyways, this morning it was raining and Tim was pacing because he had nothing to do, so he switched on the television to see if Trump has been arrested yet, and Maury was on. He settled down. I rolled my eyes. Oh my gosh, I just don't get this.

It was a top ten program, with highlights (?) and catch-ups with people who had been on their show. So there's this one guy, plain as a potato, who decided that his girlfriend had cheated on him, because the toddler looked at him and said, "Que pasa?" 

"The baby doesn't even speak English. Not my kid!" he repeated over and over and over. 

For pity's sake. Maybe the child watched Dora the Explorer.

His girlfriend howled and carried on something awful. "It IS your son. I swear, I haven't cheated on you!" 

Plain Potato Man sat there stony faced. "Child speakin' Spanish."

Well, they did the test and announced the result. The child was his. The woman is yelling "Boom! There you go! I told you!" etc. 

So they did a follow up to see where they are at today. Still a couple. But now Plain Potato Man is certain the oldest boy is not his. "He doin' all sorts of karate moves. Child definitely got Asian blood." 

WTH?

So the woman is howling and carrying on something awful. "It IS your son. I swear, I haven't cheated on you." 

They did the test and announced the result. The child was his. The woman is yelling "Boom! There you go! I told you!" etc. 

She announces she's not "playing this game any more." 

I thought, "About time...how can you make a life with that kind of stupid?  I'd have been out the door the first time he started that stupid talk..." etc. 

I stopped talking as she said, "I am done with this. I got my tubes tied." 

The man exclaimed, "You did whuuuuuut????"

She laughed and he laughed, and they claimed everything was wonderful, and that he was being the best daddy he could be. 

I'm always dumbstruck to discover just how much dumb there is in the world. 

Tim shut off the television. Evidently it was a bit more dumb than he could take. 



24 comments:

  1. Please tell me this stuff is scripted! At least by getting her tubes tied she won't be breeding with stupid anymore.

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  2. I'm surprised the TV hubby didn't think she'd twisted and knotted up the outdoor garden hose! Linda in Kansas

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    1. LOL. I imagine after the show, she explained what she had done.

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  3. Well, hand up here, in the evening I have watched stuff on my tablet about benefits and the people who receive them in this country. I don't understand why women go on to have several children and live in poverty. But it happens, and they, and later their children grow up to end up like the people you have described, a never ending cycle of misery.

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    1. Children who learn it is a way of life, see it as how things are done. They never learn another way. Tim and I are, at this very moment, trying to provide a counterbalance to that kind of thinking for a young man. Pretty difficult.

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  4. Well, the future of our planet is in the hands of young people. I just hope it is not these particular young people.

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  5. Hard to believe that Maury is still going strong. I never watched except in passing and I never bothered to linger. And that was a long time ago because we haven’t had live network tv for year now.

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    1. To be honest, I'd forgotten him as well. My mother loved Maury, because he always used to do these shows, and then after exploiting these people (I personally believe that he selects the most over-the-top emoters he can get), he'd offer up this somber little platitude (i.e. The future of our world rests in the hands of our children, and we all need to come together to insure that they're cared for and secure), as if that little platitude justified what we'd just seen. My mother loved those little moments. I don't think he does that now.

      He's a showman, ala Barnum and Bailey.

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  6. "I'm always dumbstruck to discover just how much dumb there is in the world."

    Me too! Me too.

    P.S. I didn't even know such shows existed anymore. Reminds me of last week when my oldest daughter questioned the meaning of "soap opera" which I had used to describe an event. After telling her what it meant, I googled and saw that there are still soap operas on television.

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    1. I did know that fact. When we break for lunch, we watch the local news. There is a soap opera that comes on at the end of that. I don't know what it is. I do remember, as a small child, the theme song to The Edge of Night was the cue that it was naptime. I'd always plead to watch the beginning. I loved to watch the dark move across the screen.

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  7. Now that sounds like a couple who just like to get on TV to be outrageous. Maybe they are paid to be on?! I feel sorry for the children to have such a narrow-minded dad who can't love them for who they are. I can't watch those shows.

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    1. To be honest, I just cannot take all the screaming and yelling.

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  8. I can't stand those shows either and am shocked at the people who are so eager to shout out all their problems to the world (as I write on my blog, don't judge me). I guess I'm not so different, now that I write it down, maybe that's why I dislike the shows so much:)

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    1. I think everyone writes about what they feel from time to time, but I guess it is the out of control behavior that bothers me. The difference is someone telling you about a problem, and someone telling you about that same problem while screaming and punching someone.

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    2. Thank you for helping me save a little dignity:)

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  9. OK, that is RIDICULOUSLY dumb. You have to wonder whether these people are just putting us on for ratings. Surely no one is that much of an idiot.

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    1. I do think the producers urge the participants in all these types of shows to have the most extreme reactions possible, because they think viewers will respond to screaming and crying and threats of physical violence (if not actual violence). I respond by turning off the show!

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  10. Every bit of these shows is fake. The saps who appear get a vacation for a couple of days. Some people have no pride are willing to make themselves out to be fools on TV. For sure they tell everyone they know they are stars! They think they are giving Academy Award level performances. A trip to the big city, a few days at a nice hotel and nice meals make it worthwhile. They also get hair, make-up and nails and maybe new clothes. The just might also be paid actor's scale wages. It will go on as long as people watch. We are the real fools.

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  11. I can't watch those shows!
    My daughter in law sometimes watches them...to reassure herself that she is not like them and is herself normal!!

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  12. Oh gosh! That is dumb.
    I beginning to doubt anything will happen to Trump. He's got too many followers who are part of his cult, including the Republican Party. I worry about our country.

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