Tuesday, May 10, 2022

I Screw Up Big Time

 William has been staying with us for the past couple days. His mother's S.O. had a death in the family and it was felt that it would probably be better if William just spent a couple days here with us. We are never going to turn down time with a grandson.  Since William goes to school right around the corner from where we live, I just walk over to the school to pick him up, waiting for him at the end of the bridge. 

Yesterday we walked home and William decided to just go to our house rather than accompany me to the renovation, so he went one way, and I continued down the street. I noticed a boy about William's age, 11 or 12, walking alone. The thing about him was that he noticed me and gave a friendly wave and said hello. As he continued down the street, he greeted Tim and our tenant Paula who were visiting in front of one of the rentals as well. 

I thought to myself, "He seems like an awfully nice kid, and he's probably new to the area." 

Today, I saw him again, and once again, he said hi and waved. So I talked with him, asking him if he were new. He said he was, and gave his name as 'Dante'.  I said, "I have a grandson named William. He's not always at our house but" - and I told him where we live - "you're welcome to stop by and see if he's there. He likes to bike ride, and the bike trail is a fun ride." He said "Okay," in a cheerful voice and continued on. 

I waited for William who takes his time. When we finally met up, I told him about the new kid. 

Later, I saw Dante walking as I was pulling into the renovation. William was in the passenger seat of the car, and I thought to introduce the two boys. 

"Dante," I called.

He looked back, broke into a dead run, and disappeared around the corner. 

In these days of stranger-danger, you cannot call to a kid from a car. Big no-no. I probably scared him to death. 

I feel awful. I wish that I knew where he lived so I could explain to his parents. 

23 comments:

  1. That's a shame, especially as it would incredibly rare for a woman to be any threat to a child.

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    1. The sad thing is that so many kids are dealing with really horrible shit in their young lives. He may have very good reason to be afraid. I really feel as if I should have realized.

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  2. Wow! I wouldn't have thought about calling out from your car either, since you'd already met the boy. Bummer. Can you contact the school to try and meet the parents? Linda in Kansas

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  3. I put out a general facebook post and asked people to share it. Basically, it said, "If you're new to the xxxx-area, and have a 12 year old son who ran home after someone called to him from a car, it was me. My intention was to introduce him to my grandson. I am sorry. I did not mean to scare him." I am hoping the post will be shared enough that eventually the word will get to where it needs to be.

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  4. A sad reflection of the world we live in. Kids should feel safe and mature women (even in cars) shouldn't be seen as scary.

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    1. It really is sad that some children have so much to be afraid of.

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  5. The world has changed. I know years ago when my daughter told me about a man taking her picture as she walked home from school I was concerned. Then she showed up on the front page of our local newspaper.

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    1. Now, parents have to give their permission for that to happen.

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  6. That's a shame. I hope you have the opportunity for resolution.

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    1. I hope so too. I would feel very sad to have a new family thinking they had a bad apple in the neighborhood.

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  7. A sad commentary on our society today.

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  8. When my boys were growing up ( they are in their 40s now!) I used to give them a scenario about what would you do if a car stopped near you and tried to speak to you. The answer I tried to teach them was to ignore the person, and run away in the opposite direction to where the car was pointing. I told them that anyone who meant no harm would not be upset, and realise that they should not have been trying to talk to kids , as did you!
    Hope that you manage to apologise and the boys will become pals.
    Such an easy thing to do on the spur of the moment. Don't beat yourself up!

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  9. Pity that William wasn't there and could have talked to him

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  10. William was there in the passenger seat.

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  11. I didn’t see this story taking that turn. Nor would I have thought about doing what you did. But I do applaud Dante and his parents for teaching the ways of this world and dealing with the situation appropriately.

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    1. I didn't even give it a thought, really. I am not sure if he didn't recognize me in the car, or what. I didn't see the story taking that turn either, and I should have. William's received the same instructions. In his case, his biological father is the concern.

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  12. You naive a way of leading us away from the ending until we get there.

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  13. Believe me, this was the way the story played out. It was not intentionally crafted to be clever. Just me. Being dumb.

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  14. How odd. Maybe that's not why he ran. Maybe he thought you were someone else, or thought he was in some kind of trouble? Anyway, I'm sure you'll have a chance to explain.

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    Replies
    1. I think maybe he didn't recognize me, but I scared him.

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