Thursday, April 21, 2022

How Rude~


 I've been blogging for 12 years now. There was a break when it just seemed like there was nothing to say, but then...don't you know, I found stuff to say (sorry about your luck).

Anyway, I was over at Northsider's blog  and happened upon a discussion about comments left and not responded to. 

I was horrified to think that perhaps I was being rude by not responding to every comment, and I went to different blogs and discovered that the majority of you do. 



The first thing that I want you to know is that I'm pretty oblivious to the obvious stuff sometimes. I appreciate my commenters and I read you all. Every single one. 

The second thing that I want to know is how do you get the reply feature in the comments so that you comments can be replied to, both by me and other readers? 

Answers on a post card, as John Gray would say. 

And for all that I have offended, I do apologize. 

LATE EDIT: at 4:15 AM, I figured it out. Thanks everyone. 

47 comments:

  1. I don't know that it's a hard and fast rule. It does tend to form a connection and is more motivating for commenters. I respond to each comment via e-mail because there are some things that people ask that I don't want to answer on a public blog-but can in a private email. Plus, I don't always go back to blogs to check on responses to my comments and I'm not sure of how many who do.

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  2. Thanks, Margaret. I guess I'm kind of the same way myself.

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  3. I enjoy reading your blog, and several others. I'd don't think you're obligated to respond to any or all comments, either on the blog or via direct email. It is nice when maybe some comment I placed might help a blogger, or just to share some concern or funnies within our stressed spheres. Blogless Linda in Kansas

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    1. I'm glad you're here, Drum Major. I always wanted to know if you were a marching band nerd. My youngest daughter was.

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    2. LOL! Yep, top concert and marching band in Oklahoma for 3 years ('69 to '72). Head Drum Major with the big baton and whistle.
      Like Mr. Holland's Opus, I kept in touch with my beloved high school band director over the years, and visited him for a week just as his Alzheimer's started. He went to the Band in Heaven 4 years later. I blame him for wishing the whole world would do their best and why I'm such a detailed RN now.
      Maybe, tell us more about your house photo on your header. Linda in Kansas

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  4. I only reply sometimes, not sure why, laziness, lack of time, stress, I don't know what to reply. Some blogs I got back to the read the reply but not always. I never noticed that your blog doesn't have the reply button under the comments.

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    1. I can understand your stress. You have a lot on your plate.

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  5. Deb, I doubt any of your readers or commenters could or would be offended…. We “know” you too well to even imagine any rudeness from you!

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    1. Thanks, Anonymous. I try very hard not to be rude. It's important in these days. However, I am oblivious and I miss things.

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  6. I think the biggest problem with electronic communication is you never know the mood or emotion of the person sending the message. Book publishers drive ne mad not answering my emails in particular.

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    1. That has gone wrong for me. People assume a 'tone' or emotion to a comment that was simply not intended. PS, thanks for the little nudge. I wouldn't have figured out the 'reply' feature without it.

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  7. I do always try to reply to each comment on my blog but I don't assume that other bloggers will respond personally on my comments on theirs. It does not offend me at all, but I suppose I comment a little less frequently if I think that there will be no friendly dialogue.
    I enjoy your blog, Debby,and always read your posts...and I do generally comment!

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    1. I always read your blog too. And now I can respond.

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  8. I reply when inspired!
    Same with commenting.
    With some I leave a stone in the pool to say that I visited.but didn't have anything to add...(0)...thanks to Zhoen at One Word blog for that.
    Not sure how you get the reply function...Cro at Magnon's Meanderings has that too

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    1. Rachel explains it succinctly and well below. Sometimes when I'm busy, I just don't have the time to reply, but I always try to. Comments are affirming! (Or at least, they should be...)

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  9. I do like to comment on a blog...(if I think I have something interesting to say).....and it is lovely to get a response. It creates a connection between myself and the blogger and as time goes on and comments and replies are made, it feels like I have a friend. I tend to lose interest in a blog ( or commenting at least) if comments are not responded to. Do you see what I mean?

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    1. I guess I feel the connection in the post itself, and I comment to let the blogger know I've enjoyed it or found it interesting, or whatever. But yes. I do see what you mean, and I am a little embarrassed that it never occurred to me before.

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  10. Go to settings, scroll down to Comments, comment location and tick embedded.

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    1. I figured it out at about the same time you told me! Thanks Rachel!

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  11. I respond to comments but not always to a second comment. If I respond to one comment, I respond to all. But occasionally I respond to none. I once tried the pop up in a new window comment that you use, but I did not like it but to comment on other blogs, I find it quite ok.

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    1. That's a good policy. My thing was that I was unable to respond to comments individually, and it just seemed to lack cohesiveness to respond to everyone in one huge comment at the end.

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  12. Probably due to ex Catholic guilt of politeness I answer most of my comments, also because I like the people who respond and the people who don't of course. I don't find you are rude Debby just ebullient and eager to share your world and that is a beautiful thing to do.

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    1. Funny...I love your blog for exactly the same reason.

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  13. I think time is what governs whether you reply or not…..
    And wondering how many return to see whether you replied or not….

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    1. That will be interesting. To be honest, I often don't.

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  14. I don't comment a lot on the blogs of other folk. If I don't have anything to say, I say nothing. That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the blog entry. I imagine that's part of the reason I don't get a lot of comments, but I am not blogging for the comments anyway. I do appreciate people who take the time to comment when they have something to say.

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    1. I know that I like to receive comments. I imagine that everyone does. But you are right, they are not the reason for blogging.

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  15. I read many blogs that the author rarely responds to comments. I quickly learn that and then rarely go back to see if the author responded. I don’t think it is rude but my guess others might be like me and miss any follow up comments you have made in the past. But now that I know, I usually read the new post first and comment before clicking the older post link to see your response to my previous comment. On blogs that frequently respond to comments, sometimes there is great discussions that can go on for a few days.

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    1. You are right about the discussion part! I really am enjoying your blog 'travelogue' right now, btw.

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    2. Unfortunately as I have found out in past attempts, posting of an old vacation dramatically reduces the number of comments. But I still think it was worth it and gives me a bit of a break from having to come up with something creative to post during the final stretches of winter into spring.

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    3. I'm not a long time follower of your blog, so it is a new vacation to me.

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  16. I've visited many many blogs over the past 12 years and even had my own until 2016. Looking back, I must say that the ones I've continued to follow did tend to have responses more likely than not to comments. I think they made me feel like I was more involved in the goings-on. I know that I would respond to comments on my blog so those that did stop by might stick around. Just my two cents... Take care! Kris

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    1. Funny how your two cents made a LOT of sense!

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  17. I don’t comment on comments unless there’s a specific question. And I never return to a blog to see if there has been a reply unless I have asked a question and I also remember that I have done that.

    Unless the replies to comments go directly to the recipient, I don’t see much point. I can email some commenters if I choose, but that is a cumbersome process too.

    This whole lack of email and good reply feature is the worst thing about Blogger compared to other platforms. Frankly, it’s stupid.

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  18. You can click on the notify me down in the right hand lower corner of the comment form and you will receive an e-mail if there is a response, but tbh, I rarely do that. I don't need to on my own blog because I moderate comments, and if I do that on each blog I visit, I'd be clogging my inbox with notifications.

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  19. I didn't think it was rude of you because you often would leave a comment explaining something that came up in the comments. I do like to get a response and check back to see if there is one if I have left a comment but it isn't a requirement for me as a commenter. I like what you have to say and the way you say it and that is what keeps me coming back to your blog. Thanks for blogging, Debby!

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  20. For me, part of the pleasure of blogging is to reply to comments.

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    1. It is a lot easier to do that now that I've figured out the 'reply' feature.

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  21. There are not enough hours in my day to reply to every comment every day or comment everywhere I read. It wouldn't leave anytime for writing new posts or reading my library books!

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    1. You are a woman with your priorities straight, Sue! LOL.

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  22. I don't always comment on the blogs I read, but I almost always respond to the comments left on my blog. Like Ed said, interesting conversations can take place. When I have time, I like reading some of the other comments and responses, as well. I know that many folks who leave comments on my blog never return to see my reply (even when they as a question), but that's fine. To each their own.

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  23. I answer both you and Kelly!
    Mind you, I rarely come back and check if someone has replied to my replies so you are off the hook with me.
    I find very sporadic posting has helped me keep my blog very quiet indeed.

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    1. Jeanie - good to see you here. Any results on margins, etc?

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  24. The comments on my blog generally do not require (or need) a response. But when they do, I respond.

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  25. I don't comment as much as I should, but I read your posts. You are a feisty woman of principles. I admire that about you, Joanne.

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I'm glad you're here!