I knew that today was going to be a tough day. It was scan day, and anyone who has ever dealt with cancer, knows about 'scanxiety'. It became a real problem for me right off the bat, when I'd go to get the scan, and they'd be unsure about things, so I had to travel to Pittsburgh for a followup. It was always an agonizing, worrisome wait. Finally after a couple times of this, I decided to skip the first step and just go to the big hospital, and for about five years that worked. Then they stopped doing the preventative stuff and wanted me to begin going back to the local hospital.
Me, being me, simply ignored everything for about four years until my GP got so vocal about it that I just let them set up the appointment and went, like a good little soldier. When I got there, the technician got quite upset because I had a cancer history, and I should have told them. I said, "I didn't make the appointment. Isn't right there in your records?" She was upset, and I was upset because I didn't even want to be there to begin with, and she couldn't understand that either. I said, "Well, it is a scary thing to have things get done here only to be sent somewhere else for a second opinion..."
She looked at me and said, "That has never happened."
I was a bit gobsmacked. "It certainly did...at least twice..."
She brusquely said, "I've been here a long time, and we've never referred anyone to Pittsburgh."
She was calling me a liar, without saying the word, and it made me mad. She kept saying, "Listen, I don't know what the problem is..."
By that point, I was done talking, I just wanted the stupid test completed and I wanted to leave.
Because I am a butt head, I delayed this scan by a few months too. My GP is pretty persistent, and so once again, the appointment was made.
I get to the hospital today in all my anxious glory, and the receptionist looked at the paperwork I handed her. "Wait...you've had cancer?"
Inwardly, I groaned. "Yes."
She told me that she needed to talk to the technician, and I saw the whole thing playing out again. "We do screenings for people with a history of cancer in the afternoons..."
Thank god for masks. I said, "Why don't we just reschedule this to a time that works for you?"
I think she was a little surprised at my graciousness. I was glad that she couldn't read my mind. It was not her fault. I don't even know where the communication breakdown IS, but I simply was not going to do a replay of my previous experience.
I walked back out to my car in the rain with my new appointment.
I was supposed to go back to work, but I was about fed up with that place too. This morning, they announced that we would be working 10 hour days next week. We are also working Saturday.
The supervisor said, "That will give you all a chance to make up for losing Thursday." (We do not get holiday pay for Thanksgiving.) She sounded thrilled for us. The reason is that they are afraid that we will get behind.
So...we will be working long days right up to Thanksgiving, and then working Friday and Saturday on top of it. On a holiday weekend. People travel. Family comes in. People have plans.
It's bullshit. It's all bullshit. The thing is, we are not behind. If we get one day behind, we can work the over time the following week AFTER the holiday, but to screw up everyone's holiday because we might have a problem? That's bullshit.
I was not the only angry person there. The place was buzzing.
So walking through the rain, I was mad about the confusion about the scan. I was mad about my lost holiday weekend. I was just mad.
I should have gone back to work, but you know what? I took me to Tim Horton's and I got a large vanilla ice capp. I sat in my car and drank caffeine while I watched it rain. And when I was done feeling like I wanted to yell at someone, me and my grumpy pants went back to work.