Sunday, October 3, 2021

Death

 We had to give notice to a tenant at the beginning of last month. There was a lot of suspicious activity going on. It was a shame, because she was a really hard working girl, but she seems to have had a pretty big problem. 

In any case, Tim took a day off work to put the finishing touches on the apartment, and he put a notice in the paper. We had a surprising number of responses to the ad, and made a decision on Friday. We rented to an elderly couple. He has terminal cancer. 

What is sweet about this is that he seems to be very much about making sure she is taken care of when he is gone. They sold their house in the country once he was unable to take care of the upkeep. The housing market is 'hot' now, and the house went much more quickly than they expected. The closing date is not yet determined, but they know they need to get their things moved out. 

She came alone to look at the apartment, a very tiny, spunky sort of woman whose life revolves around her dying husband. The whole situation is so very touching, his thoughts being all about her, her thoughts being all about him. 

What is also touching is that Tim knows the man, having become acquainted with him long ago, when he was in his 20s. Tim feels a responsibility to make things easier for the both of them and so we went over to the apartment to decide what adaptations would be needed to help the two of them.  

Yesterday, driving to pick up our stove, Tim said, "It's so strange. I never would have imagined all those years ago that I would be renting a place to him in his final days." 

Our lives have certainly changed over the course of these past 25 years. 

"I wonder how we will be, when we are of an age, when we are looking at the end," I wondered out loud. 

We drove in silence pondering. One of us will be first. One of us will be left behind. 

It is a sobering thought, but a fact of life. In the end, death comes for us all. Let there be love. 


13 comments:

  1. It is strange but similar thoughts have been passing through my mind too recently. It must be inevitable once we reach a certain age but it just seems too soon.

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  2. I wonder that more and more as time goes on. Now that we’re in our mid=seventies, it seems pertinent.

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  3. I am the one left and it is a miserable life most days. After being married 50 years life will never be the same. Ron was 69 when he died and we always thought we would grow old together. Now I am 76 and hope someone might come into my life again but about to give up on that. I have plenty of great memories and two great kids and five grandchildren so I know I am blessed, at times I just have a poor me day. Some times I just need to tell someone. Love each other with all your heart, there will ne differences but the good almost always out weighs the bad, remember the good.

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  4. You know, Ellie, I thought of you when I talked to our new tenant. You and Weaver both.

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  5. Our end is difficult to think about but we must come to terms with it. These two people have obviously accepted what is to come and are making plans.

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  6. Oh gosh... I think about that all the time. I keep telling my husband I want to go first because I don't know how I'd manage alone. You are so wonderful to try to make it easy for this sad couple.

    We have a rental also, but having a hard time with it. No matter who we rent it to lately, the neighbor complains about them. Sigh...

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  7. Oh, you mean when TIM was in his 20s. I thought you meant the man. I was like, "Wait, that math doesn't add up!"

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  8. Yes. Tim was in his early 20s. The man wss friends with his ex-wife's family.

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  9. One always wonders...and I think of Pirate's old boss who died at 96, four days after his wife. They had been together for eighty years and he couldn't live without her.
    But then there is the potter, widowed in her seventies...and carried on creating her work for thirty more years.

    Who knows.

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  10. My husband was 59 when he died (I was 56) and the reality is that one spouse will be left behind, barring some kind of catastrophic accident. I had two years to prepare; it didn't make it easier emotionally but it was smoother financially. My mom always assumed she would go first and is now adjusting to single life after 66 years of marriage. Not easy for an 89 year old.

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  11. I really never thought about such things until my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Now those thoughts weigh heavily on my mind at times and I have taken steps to make things easier should I check out unexpectantly.

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  12. Sooner or later we are faced with the possibility of living alone, especially if one spouce is older — mine was 7 years older. What I had never really considered was that the older I became the fewer family and friends would sill be living, but that has become my reality. None colder than me are left and only a few contemporary friends. At least I have my 2 children and a couple grandchildren, but they all live across the continent from me. I treasure those few I have wherever they live..

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  13. My grandmother used to say the worst thing about being 90 was the steady loss of her friends.

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