Monday, March 15, 2021

The Obituary

 I just read the saddest obituary ever. 

A woman with local ties died. The short obituary mentions her husband, and a sister, and notes that she had three children, one son, two daughters. It mentions that she and her husband moved to ___________ to be closer to their son, who "is and was as devoted to her mother as she was to him for her whole life." It goes on to say that "raising her son was the greatest joy of her life". 

The daughters are not mentioned by their full names. 

You're right. 

I don't know the circumstances. Maybe it's warranted. I don't know. 

It just seems like one last slap. 

17 comments:

  1. There are weird things that happen in families, but I don't think I personally would air them in an obituary. The couple who are taking care of my dad in Hospice have three daughters and they are estranged from all of them. They don't speak. We've only heard their side of two of the situations, but I find it extremely odd. I can understand having an issue with one child, but ALL three?

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  2. It is sad but as you say, we don't know the circumstances.

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  3. Very sad. Like someone once said: You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family.

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  4. Echoes of the relationship between my sister and I with our mother. Her favourite, her son, her choice.

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  5. JayCee, it was like that in my own family. Which is why, when I look at the obituary, I see that scenario in my mind.

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  6. I would hate to think that my children suspected that I loved one more than the others.

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  7. The mark of a good parent, Cro.

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  8. Maybe her son wrote the obituary and it was his way of "slapping" his sisters. People do the strangest things and nothing surprises me anymore.

    I want to be cremated, but if I were to be buried, I would want my final resting place to be inscribed with "Beam me up, Scotty!"

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  9. Death can bring out the worst in people. Just remember, we never truly know what goes on in another's life. For that matter, it can be all to easy to miss things in our own lives.

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  10. All TOO easy. Drives me crazy to see a typo like that in a comment I've left. (short trip, my husband would say)

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  11. My husbands sister had not spoke to him (her choice) in 15 years. When he passed away she showed up expecting the family to just act like everything was fine. People at the funeral was hugging her and telling her how sorry they were and she shed a few tears and no one knew the real story but our family. I had a hard time being nice but managed. She had treated her mother the same and not telling anyone her mother went to her attonry and changed her will and took the daughter out of the will. That was a surprise to everyone and she wanted to sue the estate but the will was iron clad.

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  12. I understand that things happen within a family. I totally understand that. As a parent though, on my death bed, I would want my children to know that I loved them a great deal. Maybe it was an imperfect love, maybe I could have been better, maybe they could have been better, but in the end, nothing would be more important to me than making sure, for what it was worth, they were all dearly loved.

    I'm also going to be cremated. Dig a hole, plunk my ashes in, and plop a lilac tree on top of me. My children were initially horrified by this. They felt like there had to be a 'place', with a marker. I said to them, "Well, you'll know where the lilac is and when you're gone, no one will be there to mind my grave...they'll be minding yours." Which is how it should be.

    I think about it often. In the end, what do I want my children to know?

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  13. Wow, that is sad! It really leaves me wondering.

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  14. Seems a sad family. I think we can guess what the reading of the will revealed.

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  15. Seems a sad family. I think we can guess what the will will reveal.

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  16. There's definitely a story there!

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  17. I know the family you're referring to. The son is actually the couple's biological grandson. He was born to one of their daughters and she wasn't capable of raising him so they adopted and raised him. I don't remember the details as to her age when he was born, if she tried to parent him or if the grandparents had him from birth. Knowing the woman's husband, I'm assuming he wrote the obituary (it sounds like something he would say) and it probably never occurred to him how others would interpret the situation, although I don't remember him ever talking about the daughters and don't know what kind of relationship they had with them. But I know they doted on the son.

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The Lawyer.

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