One of the rifts that has caused me great pain personally is a friendship that I've had for over 50 years. I try never to discuss politics, because I know that we will disagree. What made it hard is that sometimes there were topics that started off not being political at all, but managed to turn the conversation in that direction. The very hardest thing for me is that she believes things that simply are not true. Conspiracies. Lying media. Easily disproven things.
She will state her opinion on something, but when I say anything to the effect of "But..." she comes back with a sharply worded, "I've done my research, and you're not going to change my mind."
I've tried listening without comment.
What I feel is choked, and as if each word has to be checked. I imagine that she probably feels the very same way.
This is something that I have been tossing over for a very long time.
Yesterday, she called me. During the course of our conversation, she asked a question. It wasn't an innocent question. It was something that she wanted to know that would 'check a box' in her mind. I knew that she was making a decision. I answered the question honestly. I felt her judgement, although she did not say the words.
It was a short conversation, and when I hung up, I knew something for certain. I wasn't going to hear from her for a long time. Perhaps never.
It was a strange feeling and once again, I was reminded of Rumi: "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there."
Maybe. It could happen.
But, you know, I remember another field, before the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing. We were 12, and she was my very best friend. I miss that.