Saturday, April 23, 2022

Tim takes advantage

This house would have been bought around 2013. When my mother died, she left my sisters and I an insurance policy which was divided between the three of us, since my brother was getting the house and land. I wanted that money for our trip to Australia. I really REALLY had my heart set on that trip. But. Tim saw a house, and once again, there was dissent in the home. 

I gave in, because Tim just argues to the death on things. 

This is the house he bought for $25,000 and more than quadrupled his money on. 

This post was originally from 2013. 

Tim and I get along pretty well, but we do not see eye to eye on everything. He's been eyeballing a house. I voted no. This house is next to a stream. It is also a pretty nice house with 'good bones'. It is not old like the others. It is a pretty new house with some interesting upgrades. When you look at the whole foreclosure thing, the first question you ponder is why exactly was this house allowed to go back to the bank? This is a house that probably would have sold, in my opinion. Instead, it sat empty for a couple years and went back to the bank.

Makes you wonder why, like I said.
What you do not see about this place is that a picturesque little stream runs right next to it. I told Tim, "I believe that there is a septic problem, and that replacing it became an issue because of that stream. I'll bet there are restrictions that will make replacing it very expensive, and this is why the place was allowed to be taken back by the bank.

So Tim thought this over, decided I was right, and decided not to buy. Except that his mind kept coming back to this house. He decided to bid lower than the bank wanted, citing our concerns. I was not happy about this. I was unhappy, because I thought we'd settled this already.
We debated the situation, again. 
I suggested looking for another place we both agreed on. He decided I was right.
For another couple weeks.
Then he began thinking on it again.
We argued again.
Long story short, I said, "Okay. Whenever you feel so strongly on something that you just can't let it go, it turns out to be the right thing. I'm going to trust that you have prayed hard on this."
He said he had.
I told him to do what he was going to do.
He did.
This is the latest house.
Tim is very excited.
I am not so excited, but acknowledge that I gave in, so I have no one to blame but myself.

We stopped in to a store to get some dishsoap and some eggs to fill for an Easter egg hunt tomorrow. Coming out of the store, I had a sudden urge for some wine, so I stopped in at the liquor store and grabbed a bottle.
Tim doesn't drink, so he was making faces. I said, "Oh, hush. Women who have been drinking are easier to take advantage of," and cocked my eyebrow at him in a suggestive way.

He laughed hard at that.

Then the schmuck said, "Start drinking because there's a house I want to talk to you about."

And then he laughed and laughed and laughed.


  1. Tell him it will take a LOT OF whine!!!

  2. Dear Tim,

    You're married to a very understanding (and funny) woman. If I were you I'd buy her liquor whenever she wants it. :)

    Dear Debbie,

    Just a very few years ago Gary finally said, "You know, I've learned to trust your instincts when you say something is a bad idea." Yeah. Ever since then, when I've said I thought something was a "bad idea" he's listened every time. Not.

    We once bought a house with septic issues. And because of our location they wanted us to put in an alternative septic system (beginner's mistake. Talk about buyer's remorse). At the time it was a 7000 price tag. (Now it's 10,000). We sold the place for what we put into it and got out. I hope you guys are luckier than that. A pre-sale inspection wouldn't hurt.

  3. Lots of reasons houses go into foreclosure and many reasons they sit for a long time. Many times the owner/borrower who has stopped making payments has a lot of other life-altering events going on and they don't want to fool with -- or don't have the wherewithal for -- trying to sell the house. They can also successfully jack the bank around and stall the process.

    Sounds like you were willing to trust Tim's instinct. If I remember correctly he has done OK with real estate and enjoys it. There's a time to compromise. Good for you.

  4. Believe me, Jeanie...I've had enough whine, and gone straight for the wine.

    He's already bought the house, Mary. My worst fear is that a sand mound septic will be required, and this will be closer to $20,000. I lied. Actually, my WORST fear would be that we can't fix the septic, at all.

  5. I think Tim needs to give in to your getting a dog that will live in the house and be part of the family. Sometimes it sounds like he is from another, unenlightened, caveman era. If you want a little dog that would make you happy, or a cat, and he constantly denies you this great pleasure, but he can badger you about spending your shared money on potentially financial disasters? id say he owes you big time and boy, he is alot luckier to have you as wife then he realizes.

  6. Chi Grrrrl: I don't understand Tim's resistance to a dog, but I think that it is important to note that I do not push for a dog. It sounds morbid perhaps, but in light of the whole cancer thing, I came to the decision that I cannot make him like dogs, and it would not be fair to leave Tim with a dog. Not fair to Tim. Not fair to the dog. I came to my own conclusion on this. Do I sometimes want a dog very badly? Yes. At these times I go to a friend's house and play with her dog. Tim is a very practical person w/ a very practical mind. He came from a very poor background and he would never risk disaster. He will take small risks, but never anything that would ruin us. It's always kind of a dangerous thing to look at a marriage from the outside. Our marriage is actually a pretty strong one. We both give in when we need to. There is enough love that I'd never force him to give in when he felt like he shouldn't. He also doesn't force me to give in when I honestly feel like I shouldn't.

  7. well that is good to know. Sometimes reading the blog it feels like "the man rules the house". I know you had that cat in your yard that maybe needs a home, and Tim is the decision maker which just kind of bugs me. I want him to say, Debby, if you want the cat, its yours. If you want a dog, then i want a dog. But he is definitely lucky to have you as his wife.

  8. Believe me sometimes I wish he would too, Chi!

    Booker C. Cat belongs to the people across the street, and we have a cordial relationship.

    Tim is what he is, but I'm a feminist, make no mistake. He doesn't rule the roost, but there are situations that I definately cede to his judgement on. There are also the situations that he cedes to me and my judgements. We have our areas of expertise.

    This was a big one for me, because he spent our 'Australia money' on it. The money will be replaced, but we needed the cash now, and he was afraid if he delayed, he would lose the house.

    We really are a pretty compatible couple for the most part. Sometimes I need wine.

  9. Sounds like you are a good househunting team Debby. I am sure you could your own house searching service for people wanting homes.

    1. Tim is the hunter, Dave. Me? I generally get dragged into it, kicking and screaming.

  10. I have a friend who moved and tried selling their house for way more than it was worth. He was s smart and rational about all aspects of life. Now 25 years later their house attracts vagrants and fire department calls for sporadic fires inside on a regular basis and they still haven’t sold or even rented out. I say this as a case in point that sometimes things are just unexplainable.

    1. In this case, Ed, the owner had a gambling problem. What happened was that the house had (as I was convinced) septic issues. Did that little stream give us grief? Oh heck yes it did. We had to put in what amounted to a DEP approved sewage treatment facility. It was expensive and required engineers to approve the plans, and DEP approved contractors to build it. It was a nightmare. She did not have the ability to pay for it. This is why the property was abandoned and let go back to the bank.

  11. It appears you have continued to write the book stemming from the House in the Header. Try an outhouse to fix those "beautiful stream" plumbing problems. Linda in Kansas

    1. We were in the process of putting in an actual sewage treatment plant, of sorts, on site. We had the work lined up but there were different people who were certified to do different stages of the job and we had to wait for long periods of time, sometimes for them to be free to do the work on our project. Working with DEP is a nightmare. A buyer wanted the house badly enough that the house sold for $135,000, we got $115,000 of it. The additional $20,000 went to them to pay for the completion of the scheduled work.

  12. The conclusion to this tale was very amusing. Even though 2013, $25,000 is giving a house away. Mind you, it doesn't have much street appeal. And then it sold for something over $100,000. Amazing.

    1. In that area, ranch style homes are the most common style of home. They are a big seller here because everything is all on one floor. This house was not on a street at all. It is out in the country which made it actually a house in demand. It sold before it was ready to go on the market.

  13. Wow! I guess that WAS a good investment. We bought a condo that my husband's cousin's realtor husband had us buy. It was a BAD mistake. We probably lost money on it. A few years later, we went with another realtor who really had our best interests at heart and that place has truly gone up in value. I'm glad it all worked out for you guys on this one.


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