It's been a time of introspection for me. I have been cobbling things together to try to keep this job, but what I am starting to discover is that my experience seems to be that, in a field where kindness is, or at least should be, a requirement, it is unfortunately not.
I have a crack at a full time job, one that would permit me to keep my part time COTA hours. A quiet message from an old acquaintance has told me to avoid the job, that it is a not a nice place to work.
In the darkness last night, it has come to me, plainly and simply: I cannot bear to work one more place where kindness is needed but, unfortunately, seems to be in short supply. Perhaps I am an idealist. Maybe just stupid. I don't know for sure, but what I can be absolutely certain of is that I simply cannot bear to go through this again. It would break my heart.
I've decided to apply for a factory job. I know that I am a hard worker. It's time to return to what I know best.
Late edit: This is just a simple statement of fact. I've had some very big blessings in my life lately. Am I disappointed? Of course, but it is what it is. I know my own limitations.