Saturday, March 30, 2013

Tim takes advantage

Tim and I get along pretty well, but we do not see eye to eye on everything. He's been eyeballing a house. I voted no. This house is next to a stream. It is also a pretty nice house with 'good bones'. It is not old like the others. It is a pretty new house with some interesting upgrades. When you look at the whole foreclosure thing, the first question you ponder is why exactly was this house allowed to go back to the bank? This is a house that probably would have sold, in my opinion. Instead, it sat empty for a couple years and went back to the bank.

Makes you wonder why, like I said.
What you do not see about this place is that a picturesque little stream runs right next to it. I told Tim, "I believe that there is a septic problem, and that replacing it became an issue because of that stream. I'll bet there are restrictions that will make replacing it very expensive, and this is why the place was allowed to be taken back by the bank.

So Tim thought this over, decided I was right, and decided not to buy. Except that his mind kept coming back to this house. He decided to bid lower than the bank wanted, citing our concerns. I was not happy about this. I was unhappy, because I thought we'd settled this already.
We debated the situation, again. 
I suggested looking for another place we both agreed on. He decided I was right.
For another couple weeks.
Then he began thinking on it again.
We argued again.
Long story short, I said, "Okay. Whenever you feel so strongly on something that you just can't let it go, it turns out to be the right thing. I'm going to trust that you have prayed hard on this."
He said he had.
I told him to do what he was going to do.
He did.
This is the latest house.
Tim is very excited.
I am not so excited, but acknowledge that I gave in, so I have no one to blame but myself.

We stopped in to a store to get some dishsoap and some eggs to fill for an Easter egg hunt tomorrow. Coming out of the store, I had a sudden urge for some wine, so I stopped in at the liquor store and grabbed a bottle.
Tim doesn't drink, so he was making faces. I said, "Oh, hush. Women who have been drinking are easier to take advantage of," and cocked my eyebrow at him in a suggestive way.

He laughed hard at that.

Then the schmuck said, "Start drinking because there's a house I want to talk to you about."

And then he laughed and laughed and laughed.


jeanie said...

Tell him it will take a LOT OF whine!!!

Mary Paddock said...

Dear Tim,

You're married to a very understanding (and funny) woman. If I were you I'd buy her liquor whenever she wants it. :)

Dear Debbie,

Just a very few years ago Gary finally said, "You know, I've learned to trust your instincts when you say something is a bad idea." Yeah. Ever since then, when I've said I thought something was a "bad idea" he's listened every time. Not.

We once bought a house with septic issues. And because of our location they wanted us to put in an alternative septic system (beginner's mistake. Talk about buyer's remorse). At the time it was a 7000 price tag. (Now it's 10,000). We sold the place for what we put into it and got out. I hope you guys are luckier than that. A pre-sale inspection wouldn't hurt.

Bob said...

Lots of reasons houses go into foreclosure and many reasons they sit for a long time. Many times the owner/borrower who has stopped making payments has a lot of other life-altering events going on and they don't want to fool with -- or don't have the wherewithal for -- trying to sell the house. They can also successfully jack the bank around and stall the process.

Sounds like you were willing to trust Tim's instinct. If I remember correctly he has done OK with real estate and enjoys it. There's a time to compromise. Good for you.

Debby said...

Believe me, Jeanie...I've had enough whine, and gone straight for the wine.

He's already bought the house, Mary. My worst fear is that a sand mound septic will be required, and this will be closer to $20,000. I lied. Actually, my WORST fear would be that we can't fix the septic, at all.

ChicagoGrrrl said...

I think Tim needs to give in to your getting a dog that will live in the house and be part of the family. Sometimes it sounds like he is from another, unenlightened, caveman era. If you want a little dog that would make you happy, or a cat, and he constantly denies you this great pleasure, but he can badger you about spending your shared money on potentially financial disasters? id say he owes you big time and boy, he is alot luckier to have you as wife then he realizes.

Debby said...

Chi Grrrrl: I don't understand Tim's resistance to a dog, but I think that it is important to note that I do not push for a dog. It sounds morbid perhaps, but in light of the whole cancer thing, I came to the decision that I cannot make him like dogs, and it would not be fair to leave Tim with a dog. Not fair to Tim. Not fair to the dog. I came to my own conclusion on this. Do I sometimes want a dog very badly? Yes. At these times I go to a friend's house and play with her dog. Tim is a very practical person w/ a very practical mind. He came from a very poor background and he would never risk disaster. He will take small risks, but never anything that would ruin us. It's always kind of a dangerous thing to look at a marriage from the outside. Our marriage is actually a pretty strong one. We both give in when we need to. There is enough love that I'd never force him to give in when he felt like he shouldn't. He also doesn't force me to give in when I honestly feel like I shouldn't.

ChicagoGrrrl said...

well that is good to know. Sometimes reading the blog it feels like "the man rules the house". I know you had that cat in your yard that maybe needs a home, and Tim is the decision maker which just kind of bugs me. I want him to say, Debby, if you want the cat, its yours. If you want a dog, then i want a dog. But he is definitely lucky to have you as his wife.

Debby said...

Believe me sometimes I wish he would too, Chi!

Booker C. Cat belongs to the people across the street, and we have a cordial relationship.

Tim is what he is, but I'm a feminist, make no mistake. He doesn't rule the roost, but there are situations that I definately cede to his judgement on. There are also the situations that he cedes to me and my judgements. We have our areas of expertise.

This was a big one for me, because he spent our 'Australia money' on it. The money will be replaced, but we needed the cash now, and he was afraid if he delayed, he would lose the house.

We really are a pretty compatible couple for the most part. Sometimes I need wine.