Today, at 1 PM, I will put all my text books back on the shelf. I will fold up the table that has been a part of the livingroom for several weeks now, and I will put that back in the office. I'll dust off my hands and head to work. I will be leaving early tonight. I did not expect that, but the house manager asked if I would like to, and I said, "Well...yes...actually." It will help insure that I get a good night's sleep for that certification exam tomorrow.
Am I ready? Heck. I don't know. I studied yesterday, and by the end of it all, things were no longer making sense to me. That was very frightening there. This test is one of those where you can look at the answers and think that they're all right...but the goal is to pick the answer that is most right. Most. Right. That's what bites me. I failed these sorts of tests in a practice setting, one right after the other. I would think them out, and pick the one that I felt to be most right, and wouldn't you know...there was always another one that was more right, and invariably, I was never able to see how to quantify right. Less right? More right? The teacher advised me that I was overthinking, and to just put down the first answer that came to my mind. I did that. I flunked that test too. Hardly the stuff that makes you flush with confidence.
So, I studied yesterday, and I tried to break it up into chunks and take breaks, but by 8 last night, things were no longer making sense, so I stopped studying.
I'll study today after my coffee. Must have coffee coursing through my system to study properly. I'll brush up on the METS scale, the Allen Cognitive levels, the levels of spinal injury, and the primitive reflexes.
And then I'm going to stop. That will be the hardest part. I will put the books away.
Tomorrow, I will head out early, meet up with my sister, who is driving me to the test site which is 1 and 1/2 hours from here. She will wait for the five hours, and then she will pick me up. She's done this sort of thing before with the nursing certification exam. She walked out of the building, got into the car with her husband, and said, "I've failed." (Apparently everyone thinks that they have.) It broke her heart, and when she said that to me, I said, "You did NOT fail," in a very practical voice. I knew that she did not. You do not graduate at the top of your class, summa cum laude and flunk the nursing certification exam. She did not.
I'm glad that she'll be there to speak to me in a practical voice. I'll be glad that this test will be over, but I also will be dying a little until the results are posted online sometime Friday.
I'm taking the rest of August off (figuratively speaking). I will still be working of course (I start my first night shift on Friday, will work four tens and and have 3 days in a row off, which will be quite a blessing.) We'll be getting a new roof on our house, and Tim will be installing central heat, so I'll be involved there. I was invited to try out for a play, and I was thinking about it, but decided, finally, no. I need time that is not tangled up with a bunch of stuff I NEED to do. I want time to visit with friends, and to read for the pleasure of it. Take in a couple estate sales, maybe. Tim and I will have snuggle time on the couch. Walk. Write. Get the ironing done, finally. Make nice meals. Enjoy the waning summer.
I'm looking forward to looking back at the test. Having it looming just on the horizon has gotten tiresome.