Wednesday, July 18, 2012


Mary and Danny came to visit, and we drafted Danny to help us wrassle the buffalo head to the wall. The poor thing had been lying on a reload table that had been hauled into the library for that very purpose. It's been what? Three months now? and the reload table was showing every sign of becoming a permanent part of the decor.

So Mary and Danny stopped by to return the cell phone that I'd accidently left behind at their house when I went to spend the day with Mary. I did not leave that phone there for the purpose of getting them to our house so that Danny could help wrassle a buffalo head to the wall, but it's pretty cool actually when things work out, isn't it?

Mary and Danny are both hunters and have a home filled with taxidermied things. Mary was anxious for Danny to see the buffalo, because she thinks that it is pretty cool herself, and that gave us the perfect segueway. "Danny!!! Old friend!!! You can help us hang a buffalo!!!" Danny is always up for the chance to do something he's never done before, and lucky for us, he'd never hung a buffalo, so he was enthusiastic. Kind of rare when you draft someone to help you and they're enthusiastic too. It's pretty cool when things work out, isn't it?

In any case, we heave'd and we ho'd and Mary had to take a miss on all the entertainment being on postsurgical restrictions. She sat on the couch and supervised, and the buffalo was slowly moved into place.

It's been quite an ordeal because the darn thing is so heavy. The buffalo was hung before, and quickly unhung because it was evident that the hook was not sturdy enough. Tim then created his own hook out of rebar and reinforced that. He did some work on the actual back of the mount, where the blacksmithed metal hanger had given way.

This time, the buffalo went up, and (miracles of miracles) he stayed there. We stood gazing at him, holding our collective breath a bit, but he showed no signs of wandering off. We heard no ominous sounds that the wall was about to give way. Emboldened, Danny reached up and plucked the curtain valance off his horn.

Tim said, "I did that wrong." I said, "What?!!!" Tim said, "Well, I centered the hook on the wall. I should have put the whole thing about a half foot to the right to account for the curtains. Long pause. Nobody said anything. We knew he was right, but the idea of wrassling that buffalo back down off the wall was a bit more than any of us was willing to think on at the moment.

I also knew that if that head came down, it would be placed back on the reload table, and it would sit there for another several months, because Tim would have to remove his homemade hook, with all the reinforcement. He would have to patch the damage to the wall. He would have to paint the wall. He would have to reinstall the hook. He's a busy man, and I hate to nag him because I know how hard he works, but still. Oh...still!...I was darn sick of that table.

In the end, he decided that we would leave it that way. For now. That's the way he puts things. "For now." It leaves his options open.

We trooped back to the kitchen and had cold drinks. Danny was entertaining Tim with a story about how he had a groundhog in his yard, and they've been doing quite a bit of damage to the garden, so he got excited, grabbed a 30.06 shell and a gun and went flying out the back door, loading as he went. Unfortunately, in his excitement, he'd grabbed his bear gun. He pulled the trigger and the shell exploded inside the gun, spraying his face with debris. He's really quite lucky to be telling the story with two eyes. He also got a dandy souvenier out of it: the shell casing with a jagged tear about 1/3 of its length.

Mary wanted to see the gravy boat that I'd gotten, and I pulled a chair to the cupboard to reach it down from the top to take over to the table. She examined it, and Danny looked over from his story. "That's a gravy boat?" I said, "Yes." He said, "And the gravy pours out its mouth?" Once again, I said, "Yes." He said, "Hmmm," and studied it before coming to the conclusion that it would be one heck of a lot more funny if gravy poured out the other end of the bugling elk. We about fell on the floor.

Danny and Mary came to visit. I got my cell phone back.  We also ended up with a live version of Comedy Central in the kitchen and a well hung buffalo in the library.


jeanie said...

ha ha ha to so many of the little ways with words you have offered here today Debby - talented, beautiful, caring AND funny!

For now is an excellent bolthole - I use it myself.

Good luck on all the exams etc coming up - tried to comment yesterday, but got swallowed by the maze that is logging in to my Google Account.

A Novel Woman said...

Hahaha! Great post. And I want a photo of that buffalo head! I have buffalo head envy!

WhiteStone said...

And a photo of the buffalo head? Is it forthcoming? You can't just leave us hanging like that. No, not hanging like the buffalo head. You know...hanging in mid-air, sorta. DO you get the picture? Well, we need a picture of the buffalo head! In fact, a photo of the guys hanging it woulda been cool, too. Not to mention gravy coming out of the wrong end of the gravy boat.

Bob said...

Friends do come in handy don't they?