Tonight, I was meeting a prospective tenant at one of the buildings. I haven't driven for a while. No real need to. I can walk almost anywhere I need to go, and lately, it just doesn't seem like I have any real place to go. I go to work in the morning, come home, putz around the house, and then go to bed. It feels nice to have time to stay caught up, and to relax. Talk on the phone to a friend, read a book, or even watch TV, although I have to say that I keep forgetting that I have television, and when I do, it's mostly turned to a New Age music channel that plays while I do something else. I've forgotten how lovely it is to be surrounded by music.
In any case, I went to my car tonight, because after the appointment, I wanted to get Cara's birthday present, and run a few little errands. The last time that I'd tried to start it, back when Cara was home, it would not start. Tim looked at it, and pronounced that it was fine. I haven't needed it for over a week now, and when I jumped into it, natch: it would not start.
I took off at a brisk pace for my appointment, and then decided that I could quickly run over town to pick up some of the things that I needed, and so I did.
I took my time in the store, intrigued as I was by a very vulgar woman on a cell phone. "Sure, drown yourself in food. That's what you need to do. Weight does not matter. Eat yourself to death." She was a pretty rotund woman herself. "And you can quit trying to manipulate me into coming to England, because you're beginning to &(%$ me off." She strolled around the store, yelling into her phone. "Oh, okay, so now you're going to drink instead. Poor you! Poor baby! Everybody's got problems. Wah! Wah! Let's all feel sorry for you, you big baby. Meanwhile, you're killing my husband. Think about that!" Around the store she strolled, bellowing her head off into the phone, sounding like a strange mix between Dr. Phil and one of Maury Povich's guests.
In any case, I went to the checkout, only to hear a weather alert. Serious line of thunderstorms headed our way. A woman walked into the store dripping and wide eyed.
"Crap!" I thought.
My purchases were rung up, and I left with four bags. It has been unseasonably warm here, and the wind was like none other. A cart corral had blown over from the grocery store across the way, and carts were on the loose in the parking lot, flying every which way, crashing into vehicles. I began to feel very fortunate that my car was safely in my driveway, dead as a doornail.
I headed home into the wind, and there were times that I could not step forward because the wind was just that strong. My hair was everywhere, and my coat whipped around my legs. The rain had let up considerably, and I made my way home in the dark, through a violent wind, watching strange flashes across the sky.
I've been struggling lately (so many changes!), but tonight, making my way home, I felt exhilarated in a way that I have not felt for a long, long time. There were no questions. There were no doubts. There was no fear. There was me, and my four bags and the elements. I sidestepped puddles, and gave little skips. No obstacle was too great, I handled my load easily.