Monday, October 3, 2011


I got to school early today, and I studied in my car for a time. It actually scared me, because that study session almost seemed to be muddling everything up in my mind. I took a deep breath and I closed the book. Shut it. Put it aside.

I began to look things over at lunch time, but again, it felt as if the last minute studying was making me more nervous. Again, I stopped. I closed the book. I treated myself to a salad for lunch. I worried about things as I ate, wondering if I was making a big mistake not trying to cram for the last few minutes.

I was just about sick sitting there waiting for the tests to be handed out. I shut my eyes, took a deep breath, opened them back up, picked up my pen and resolutely began the test. Question by question. It did not seem hard to me. I think that I did better than okay. I'm afraid to say that I did well, because some of the questions were wide open, create your own answer type things. I think that I got everything, but you can never tell for sure, at least not until you are holding the returned papers in your own hands with the teacher's grade marked at the top of it.

On the way into school today, I mused about Friday's confrontation. In the end, I decided that, number one, that professor's response does not reflect the attitude of any other professor I have ever met, and it certainly does not reflect the attitudes of my college as a whole. Number two, I know that she does deal with some insecurities based on some anecdotes that she has related during class. Number three, I am not insubordinate. I take school seriously, I take my assignments seriously, and I do the work required. In the end, I decided that her response revealed more about her than it did me.

Tonight, I am drinking coffee and finishing up one last assignment. Tomorrow, I will be at work at 5 AM, and I will spend the afternoon studying for part two of my practical. Wednesday night, it will be done.

I have decided to spend this weekend with Tim. I'm not opening my books at all. I feel like I've had my nose in one book or another for just forever, and I think that my husband needs a wife. I know this wife needs a husband.


jeanie said...

Amen to a weekend of rest - you have truly deserved it.

Kelly said...

Sounds like a plan.

p.s. I'm glad you were able to step back and come to the conclusions you did about last week's confrontation.

BB said...

I get tired just listening to your efforts. I am sure you will do well. Enjoy your husband - too often life takes over relationships. And he's a keeper that hubs of yours!