Monday, September 12, 2011

She's Gone.

On the morning of September 11th, my mother passed away.

It's sad.

Anna had sent me an e-mail saying, "mom is about the same, maybe tireder..." so it was a shock to walk in to her room and find her gurgling and unresponsive. That night, when Tim and I got up to leave the room, there was a whir from her dresser.

She had a music box, something that my father had bought her for Christmas many years ago, when I was still in high school. He'd given it to me, along with some other things to wrap. I remember being tickled that he would have bought something so sentimental for her.

I heard that whir, and I turned to it, and that music box played just the first line: '...let me call you sweetheart...' and then it just stopped. Just like that. My mom died a few hours later. Coincidence? Maybe. I don't know. I'm not a great believer in stuff like that. I do know that it was a comfort to hear what she could not say, and I am glad for it.

I grieve. I grieve for the loss of my mother, and I grieve for what was and what is no more. There's that. There's relief too. It was a stressful time. She did not seem to suffer, and I am glad for that. I can't feel more than that right now. I'll ponder it in my mind and pray on it. I'll talk with the people that know me best. The sharp discomfort of grief will give way to something softer and more comforting.

23 comments:

jeanie said...

Debby - my condolences on the loss of your mum. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time.

Paula said...

My sympathy in the loss of your Mom.

Mikey said...

Oh Debby, my deepest condolences. Sending you a hug.

Jayne said...

(((hugs))) and sympathy on the loss of your mother xxx

Caroline said...

Debby my deepest sympathies on the loss of your mother.

Anonymous said...

Sending prayers for comfort and a hug. My deepest sympathies on the the lost of your mom.

KarenTX

Mary Paddock said...

Deb, I am so very sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers today.

Jill said...

Debby, my deepest sympathies go out to you and your family on the loss of your mother.(((hugs)))

A Novel Woman said...

Aw, Debby, I'm so very sorry, for all of it.

Kelly said...

Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss.
(((hugs)))

Hal Johnson said...

Thinking about you in your time of loss, Debby.

Scotty said...

My thoughts are with you too, Debby.

Karen said...

Debby -- I am so sorry to hear of your mother's passing. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry but glad to hear she was not suffering. you are a strong lady and have a loving family to help you. the music box was her last message to you, cherish it.

Roland said...

Debby, you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

Pencil Writer said...

Debby, my heart goes out to you and your family. May the Lord bless and keep you and help you to find comfort in His great love and mercy.

Anonymous said...

bless you all, cherish the good times and let go of the bad.

You are a sweetheart indeed, I'm so moved to hear that coincidence.

Laura (Blogger won't let me log in for some reason)

Bill of Wasilla said...

Debby - Right after my dad died, I had an experience that also involved the unexpected sounding of just a couple of measures of a piece most significant to both history and the moment, preceded and followed by silence. It seemed too much to be coincidence, but maybe it was.

I am sorry for your loss. It is the way of life, but still I am sorry for it.

BUSH BABE said...

Dearest Debby - this is what happens when I go a day without checking my blog reader... something massive happens! Sending you hugs right now - I know your Mum is in a better place and at peace. I hope that peace touches everyone who loved her. And I am glad that you were able to be near her when she needed you there.
(((((hugs)))))
BB

Bob said...

Comfort and peace, my friend.

WhiteStone said...

Debby, sending prayers and hugs. And for Tim as well on his recent loss.

Linda (PA_shutterbug) said...

You probably can tell that I am making my way through your blog posts. It has been a while since I have blogged or read other peoples' blog posts. As I wrote my last comment, the one in which you were spending as much time with your mother as you could, I wondered if I would soon be reading of your mom's passing. I was in your spot almost 5 years ago. I still miss my mom. I am so sorry for your loss, Debby.

PaintedPromise said...

my friend just lost her mom this weekend, and i said to her what i say to you... i cannot imagine! there could only be one thing worse than losing your mom, and that would be losing a child... sending hugs your way, sorry they are so late in coming, i am finally trying to catch up on blogger... reading before writing {sigh}