We went to the new house with a load of things. There is a large walk in closet that I had plans for. I have always had a 'gift closet'. When I see things that I think people would like, or when I see things on sale, I buy them, (when I can) and I put them away. You save a lot of time and money at holiday times. I stood there daydreaming in that closet (it even has a window~), trying to imagine what Christmas would be like this year. It made me feel better on this sad day.
A local building supply place was having a 'yard sale,' and Tim had his eye on a door, so we headed off with some measurements. We couldn't actually make any purchases there. The store was closed. So we headed off to another building supply place to buy some wood putty. They had some discontinued ceramic tile on sale, marked down from $6. each (yikes) to 79 cents each, so we bought the rest of them. We thought the carved design would make a beautiful backsplash for the kitchen sink and the 22 tiles would be enough to take care of that job. We also found a dozen painted tiles that matched the kitchen curtains, and I've an idea to put them together to make a couple trivets to use on the table for hot things. When they are not being used, they would look attractive displayed on the wall by the window. They were only 33 cents each, so they were an exciting find as well.
We want to have large area rugs for the hardwood floors, and we stopped by to look at some. I found one, a sculpted white area rug that would look very nice with the wicker furniture at the base of the third floor stairway, and at $19. for a six by nine, we figured that we could afford to make that purchase as well.
It was a dreamy sort of evening, finding treasures for the house and daydreaming about the holidays to come, about the special times I want to spend with my family.
Today, I crumbled a handful of dirt into my mother's grave. I looked at us all gathered. It is an ending. Afterwards, I wanted nothing more than to gather my little family around me and tell them that I loved them. I wanted to envision special days yet to come in a house that we are carefully designing to house these celebrations.
After all the looking back, I needed this quiet looking forward more than I can say.