This morning, I woke up with a start. I had not heard my alarm go off, and it was nearly 8 AM. Almost immediately, I remembered: The semester is over. I didn't have school. I nestled under the covers and laughed a little to myself. Tim stirred. Probably doesn't remember what it is like to have a wife who does not start each day with a groan.
I did laundry. I folded laundry. I cleaned. Tomorrow, I am getting up early and going to the new house with Tim to meet the carpet cleaners, who are going to take a look at the carpeting on the second and third floors of the house. I'll have the morning to putter around there. I will finally have a chance to plant my asparagus. It just feels good to have this quiet time just for catching up.
When I called myself a jackass in the previous post, it was not because I was happy. Shoot. I'm still happy about finals being done. What I am a jackass for is allowing myself to get so worked up about things that don't matter in the great scheme of things. Compared to dying, finals are nothing, and yet I fretted myself stupid about them. Don't you think that I'd have a better perspective on things?
In an odd irony, today, Tim saw the husband of my friend who died. Tim saw him shambling across the parking lot to the bank. He stopped and he said to Tim, "Did you know that my wife died?" Tim said, awkwardly, "Yes. We read that. We are sorry to hear the news." Bob told Tim, "It was such a surprise."
I guess that's something that will always, privately, scare me a little. The fact that you can, one day, dealing with cancer, but living a fairly normal life, and then suddenly you're sick, and then dying for heavens sake. Just like that.