Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Here I Am

Today was not a productive day. I went to school, and I enjoyed my class, really. I walk out of there after 3 1/2 hours and I feel like I could sit there another 3 1/2 hours. Everyone talks, and I like that. We debate, and no one feels threatened that someone else might see it differently. I like that when you say something that no one else has thought of, they all look at you thoughtfully, considering your words. Noah looked at me today, and said, "You know, I love your perspective." Nice to hear. Even when people disagree, though, there is the sense that they are listening and considering what you have said before offering up a counter point. I love this class.

I walked out of there daydreaming, head in the clouds, thinking about words and stories and the poem that I read in class. 'Margaret, are you grieving over Goldengrove unleaving? Leaves, like the things of man, you with your fresh thoughts care for, can you?' I remembered the first time that I heard these words, in highschool. I don't believe that I ever saw anything other than the perspective of the young girl. Yet 40 years later, I read it, and I immediately saw it from the perspective of the older person watching the tender scene. It was a little shocking, like seeing yourself grow up in timelapse photography.

And then, on the way to work, I heard a song.

I wondered just how many times I'd heard this song. How many times I'd sung along with it. I thought of different ages, and different stages, and different places. I owned that album, you know, and I found myself daydreaming of that teenager. How comforted that young girl would have been to see the life that I have now. She would not have thought it possible. Yet here I am.

Here I am.

You know, sometimes, I can hardly believe it myself.


BUSH BABE said...


Jayne said...

Love those 'aha!' moments, like a hidden doorway opens and you suddenly see things from a different viewpoint.

jeanie said...

It sounds very productive. Love the last few posts - sorry I haven't been around (or online) for commenting, but just take it as read that I smile at every single one of them