Wednesday, April 27, 2011

History

I was working when a man that I once thought I loved came in. He has come in before, and sometimes, he seems as if he would like to speak, but he doesn't, and so I don't either. He is someone who was important to me for a time, but he decided that he did not want to be in a relationship after all, and he left. He called and said that he'd made a terrible mistake, and the relationship resumed. He changed his mind within a matter of days, and was gone. Amazingly, he called once more, but by then, I was able to say, "No. You just want what you do not have, and once you have me, you will not want me." I had grieved bitterly for a time, but came to discover that I didn't lose anything. I never had it. It was an illusion. Tim turned out to be the real deal. I know that I am lucky and I do not look back.


This time, the man did speak to me, and I answered him. We exchanged hellos and there was a space. There really wasn't anything to say. I looked at him, and he looked at me, and then he moved to the door. He stopped and turned and said something. "What?" I asked. He repeated himself. "When did you discover that you were a writer?" he asked. I answered, "I always was, I guess." He likes to read my articles, he said, and then he headed for the the door once again.


I watched him leave the store, and I thought about it. That's the truth of it, I suppose. I've always been a writer. He left before he knew who I was. How strange to think that he probably knows more about me now than he ever did, but I understand him no better than I did fifteen years ago.



7 comments:

BUSH BABE said...

Great, honest observation... do you realise your life is currently tracking Dooce's? Apparently she ran into an ex in the last 24 hours or so... with her main observation that his accent was thicker than she remembered!
:-)
BB

Debby said...

Reading this, I really want to make it clear that Tim and I have been married for 13 years now. This relationshp predates him. Don't want anyone thinking that I would cheat on my husband.

BUSH BABE said...

Never crossed my mind...
:-)

jeanie said...

And thank the lord that he made the mistake to not get to know you - I think you have lived this life just fine so far!!

A Novel Woman said...

Good piece of writing. Amazing how you can deliver so much feeling with so few words. That's a gift.

Scotty said...

This post reminds me of that old saying...

you don't know what you've got until it's gone.

:-)

PaintedPromise said...

his loss Debby... and having met Tim i think you got the good one :)