Been a discouraging day. Not any one thing, not really. The weather sucks, chance of rain tuning to snow tonight. *sigh* And there appears to be a glitch in the signing of the new house. There's some incomplete paperwork that the bank refuses to tidy up. Our lawyer said he needs to speak with us. That doesn't bode well. *sigh* You know that project that I whipped out last night? I met with my group this morning, showed them what I had. Everyone claimed to be pleased, but I overheard a complaint later. I am confused. Truly. No one met. No one responded to e-mail, save the girl who'd found a video. Yet she complained to another that it had been 'thrown together the night before'. She went to her dorm room and refused to take part. I feel old and foolish and ashamed, but yet I'm not sure why. *sigh* Brianna commented tonight that she doesn't want William to grow up in a house with fighting, like she did. It's the truth. My last marriage was not a good one. I told her that I was glad she was taking action in her own life, because if she failed William, that failure would haunt her for the rest of her life. I'm glad to see her stepping up to the plate, yet ashamed of my own failures too. *sigh* I have had the disconcerting experience of being embarrassed to speak in class. It feels as if the teacher is deliberately misunderstanding what I am saying. We were talking about anxiety disorders, and he talked about the fact that sometimes people fake anxiety disorders to get meds. I commented that perhaps medication should not be the treatment of choice... and he said, "So, if someone comes in psychotic and delusional you don't think they should be medicated. Interesting." Surprised, I said, "Um. I thought we were talking about anxiety..." And he said, "Oh. You're talking about anxiety." I tried to continue, because I felt like I'd look stupid if I stopped right where I was. I started again. "If a person has anxiety issues and you prescribed some sort of group therapy, if they did have anxiety they'd be willing to try it..." and he said, "What if they have a social phobia?" I looked at him and he looked back. "I am not meaning to give offense here. What I am trying to say is that if someone is coming to you in hopes of getting drugs, if you begin with a non medical intervention first, he will head out the door to look for a doctor who will give him what he wants. A person with a true anxiety disorder would be more likely to give therapy a chance. You might be able to weed out substance abusers that way." He was standing in front of the class with his head down and I felt as if I were trying his patience. He did say that I had a very good point, but I felt ashamed for talking. He'd asked for discussion, so I don't understand that shame, but I felt it anyway. *sigh* I sit here in my house with 1001 things that I should be doing but what I am going to do is go to bed and curl up with my book 'Malcolm'. Sometimes a person just needs to step back and take a break. I need a break. I've lost my focus.