The class was required to do an abbreviated Myers Brigg Type Indicator test. It's part of 'self awareness', which is the first step in 'therapeutic use of self'. I don't know how much stock I take in this sort of thing, but hey, I do what I'm supposed to do, so I did the test, which did not take long. It returned the results, listing me as INFJ, which means Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judgement.
"INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.
INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type."
Reading that this type accounts for only 1-3 percent of the population, I mused to myself 'Is that why I've felt like a wierdo for most of my life?' Like I said, I don't know how much stock I put into stuff like this, but it is interesting to consider the possibilities. Yesterday, I went to class, and the teacher had put together the class' results. I looked at the paper and was amazed to see that 29% of the class was INFJ. It was a bit of a shock, and I immediately wondered, 'Is this why I have this feeling that I am exactly where I am supposed to be?' Like I said, it is interesting to consider the possibilities.
At my locker, dragging out all my books to go home, I was talking to a couple of people from my class. One of them, in her forties, said, "It is so strange. I told my husband, "I don't know what it is, but I feel that I am right where I am supposed to be, doing what I was meant to do all of my life." Hearing my own words coming out of someone else's mouth struck me speechless (just for a couple moments. Come on. You know me...) but that dumbstruck silence was enough time for the other woman to say, shocked, "I've been feeling the same way..." and I finally found my words to say, "Me, too," and we looked at each other, the three of us, and knew that it was a beginning.
PS: I was excited to come home and find my first e-mail from Henry W. I had asked him the first of my hundred questions: You said that you were 15 when you made your first choice. What was the choice that you made? And his answer came: my very first choice I made was while living at Willowbrook when I was 15. We were made to wear jump suits like prison inmates - then when I turned 15, I made the choice to wear t-shirts and blue jeans that were hand-me-downs or donated. It felt really good to feel and look "normal".
I thought about that for a while. I remember my own children picking out their clothes almost as soon as they could open their dresser drawers. I thought about that, about not being given even a choice as simple as that until you were 15. I was moved.
Henry also expressed how glad he was for my e-mail, and that he loved questions. I smiled as I read that, and hit reply. I asked him my next question.
PPS: It's official. I have crossed that 20 pound mark. I am very close to the 21 pound mark. Yay! Oh yay!