Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Dumb

Today was sort of an aggravating day. I spent a lot of time on homework this weekend, and I confidently walked into class this morning, to immediately discover that we had an assignment that I did not do. It had been assigned in class. We had been instructed to write down the assignment. I did so. But our assignments are posted on a computer site called 'Angel'. I did all the assignments on Angel, read the readings, etc. What I did not do is refer back to my scheduling book to make sure there were no additional things to be done. Didn't even enter my mind. It is all so confusing, and it was mortifying to look at my scheduler there and see it plainly written. 'Research play, handout in red note book'. To top it off, we had a quiz on the assignment that I had not done. I felt very, very stupid. Valuable life lesson learned.

Anyway, we had our class. Followed by the lab. By the end of it, I was tired, and discouraged. My normal low self esteem had me really wondering if it were possible that I would ever be organized enough for this class. I was closing my books and gathering things all together when a woman walked in the door, came directly up to me and said, "Are you Debby?" I was so astonished that I gaped for few moments before managing to say, cautiously, "Um. Depends. Is this Debby in some sort of trouble?" Turns out she's head of a department (I'm so flabberghasted that I can't remember her title exactly, although I do remember her name, because she went to highschool with Tim and graduated with him). She read my last column. It was the story of my English class, the story of the young man who wears ammo on his wrist, about listening, about finding common ground. She wants to use it in one of her classes, and asked my permission to do so.

I gaped foolishly some more. "Sure," I said. "It's public. Go ahead." And she talked to my teacher about the fact that she had a published author in her classroom. Surprisingly, my teacher knew this too.

I wonder when I'll quit feeling dumb. I wonder if I ever will.

8 comments:

Kelly said...

I hope that boosted your confidence and wiped away the "dumb" feeling. We all make little mistakes like your missed assignment. Just chalk it up as a lesson learned and move on.

A Novel Woman said...

When are you going to believe that you are NOT dumb, and that there are so many people who look up to you and admire you? Maybe not ever. But I hope you will someday see what we all see and maybe be a bit more confident. But I also believe you will always be just a little bit humble because that's just the way you were made. Perhaps that's what makes you always seek out the underdog and be kind to those who are marginalized? So I guess maybe that's a gift.

Lydia said...

Please let me know when you stop feeling dumb, because then maybe I will too. I'm so glad I'm not the only one out there..... :}

You rock, you know!

Pencil Writer said...

Ditto. You're pretty solid, Debby. Smile and realize that so many of us forget stuff. Like our own names, or names of loved ones when they're standing right beside us, like just drawing blanks . . . Or maybe it's just some of us folks who are a decade or more past 50, I dunno . . . Smile. We love ya'!

Jayne said...

For goodness sake!
You are NOT dumb, far from it and stop calling yourself that.
Otherwise anyone who makes a mistake might think they are dumb, too, which is far from the truth, so if you won't do it for yourself, think of the children :P

Dave said...

Believe in yourself Debbie! You should know that by now.... :-) We all make foolish mistakes sometimes. If we could reach our bottoms with our feet many of us would kick ourselves often I think? - Dave

PaintedPromise said...

hey now, stop that! you are NOT dumb!!! don't make me get on another plane so soon...

BUSH BABE said...

If I decided I was dumb every time I forgot something... well... I'd be in some serious therapy. Give yourself a break woman!

(Don't MAKE me come over there!)
:-)
BB