Sunday, August 1, 2010

Shock

I saw the picture in the paper. Another acquaintance has died of breast cancer. Tammy went to school with Tim. I recounted a moment with her last year. She was a very quiet woman with a very sweet nature. I remember how devoted her mother was. The only thing that I could imagine worse than dealing with cancer is watching your child struggle with cancer. The pain in that mother's eyes, Tammy's quiet stoicism...in the past couple days, my mind keeps coming back to consider Tammy, and that morning at the Cancer Center last year. Driving to work today, I was thinking of her again, when a shocking thing occurs to me. There were five cancer patients sitting together in that waiting room that morning just 16 months ago. Of the five, now there is just one. I am the last one. The thought of it gives me a shiver.

I pull into the parking lot of the job that I love, and before I go in, I sit there a moment, saying a little prayer. I take a deep breath. Then I stride into the store, and I greet my coworkers.

17 comments:

Jayne said...

(((hugs)))

Bill of Wasilla said...

This post hit me like a hammer. From my blog, you know that I have been encountering people with cancer regularly and that I recently lost my best friend from the past. Oddly, though, as I have contemplated all this and have wandered who will be next, I have never even thought of the possibility of it being one of my children.

As for you, you come across so strong and optimistic that though I know it has been a struggle, I have pretty much taken it as a given that you will be a survivor.

What a shock to read that you are the last of your group still on your feet after only 16 months.

How strange that must feel to you.

A Novel Woman said...

I, just like Bill, was shocked and saddened to read this. And also guilty because I feel so grateful you've survived.

For someone who works with words, I just don't have any....

Lydia said...

Blessings to you, Debbie. What can you even say....

BUSH BABE said...

Gosh... am almost speechless. Almost. Just one thing to say: You are meant to be with us still.

That is all.
Hugs
BB

Twain12 said...

Debby said...

Twain! Get back here and show me how to make a heart.

Um. Please?

Muse Swings said...

Hey darlin'! Thank you so much for reaching out to me and for your prayers! I've been very involved in several projects, a wonderful family reunion, but most importantly my sister - the second of the three of us, to be diagnosed with breast cancer. She had a lumpectomy last Monday, the outcome looks excellent and we are waiting the results to see what her course of treatment will be. My sister Mary is doing just fine 10 years after her treatments. God knew us before we even existed. He didn't make promises about an easy life but He did say He would be always at our side. Glad He's by yours too.

RedWifey said...

Sending hugs, Deb!

jeanie said...

Wow Deb - it makes you realise mortality is so precious.

Chez said...

Debby, the loss of a 'sister' to breast cancer is always hard.
Knowing what life has become for me since the recurrence, I have even thought that Jeremy's accident was easier in some ways than the possibility of having him go through cancer treatment. Now! That would have been oh so difficult for both of us. And he does not have to live with me going through this.
When you learn how to do the hearts I would also love to know. Plus, if you could help with the way you mention a name from a blog and it becomes the link to the blog. Sorry, not sure if I am making myself clear.Would love to be able to do that also.
Rest in Peace Tammy

BUSH BABE said...

Deb - a heart is made by pressing ALT and '3' together! Try the other numbers too!

BB

Debby said...

It does not make a heart when I press 'alt' and 3. Why is that? Hmmm?

PaintedPromise said...

Debby on facebook i learned that if you press the "less than" carat (carrot?) key - it's the one above the comma, so Shift < - and then the 3 right after that, it will turn into a heart when you hit post... perhaps that would work for you.

and now to what i was going to say... i went back and read your other post again, that you linked to, and it made me cry... sad tears for those lost and HAPPY HAPPY tears that we still have our Debby!!!! i could never uproot myself and move to your neck of the woods but i find myself quite often wishing that i lived close enough to just sit and visit with you... i know we can "talk" any time via e-mail and blog comments or even the phone but it just isn't the same...

this is crazy but how far are you from Michigan? i have to go to Eaton Rapids for a long weekend in 2 weeks... (Randy's grandma's 90th birthday) wouldn't it be something to meet at Denny's or somewhere and hang out for a bit... but no, i am sure that's just crazy... isn't it? DARN IT!!!

deardarl said...

Hugs honey.
You are good people.

Paula said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss ... I heard in the last week that a 'comrade' who was diagnosed the same time has sadly passed away - aged 36 ... so sad.

Live and let live ... until we are told otherwise <3

Px

Paula said...

Ha ha - the heart didn't work for me either!!