Friday, June 25, 2010

Yesterday Sucked.

I have just one more week of classes. I have a quiz on Monday, for lab, and then the big practical is on Wednesday. The final for lecture is on Thursday. I have to tell you. I am so flipping tired. I have an 8 page report to finish, due by 11:30 on Monday. The three hour lecture yesterday just about did me in. This close to the end, I expected to feel relief. I expected to feel like I was going to make it. I don't. I'm harried and tired and I'm having a hard time motivating myself.

I had possibly the worst day ever at work. A fellow came into to prepay. "What pump are you on?" I asked. "I'm on the diesal," he said. "Yeah, but we have two," and being in a hurry he said, "The last pump. The outside one." "Pump 14? The side by the car wash?" and he said, "Yes." I prepaid him for $75. We were busy. I was on my own. I was trying to ring people up. Two rainbow people walked in to ask questions. I noticed that Mr. Prepay was on pump 13. In a totally unrelated chaos, the alarms on the pumps went off. I have no idea why this happened, but it already happened once this week. I had no idea how to shut the alarm off, or how to reset the pumps. More and more people entered the store. At some point, blessedly, the head of security just happened to stop by. People were mad, I'm trying to settle them down while speaking with the manager via phone. I was having a hard time hearing her. I thought it was her phone. She insists it was not. I don't know how to refund a gas prepay to a credit card. She had to come in. It was not good. I did get a lesson in how to shut off the godawful alarms, and to reset the pumps. After all the chaos settled down, the head of security said, several times, that I had done a good job, that I didn't lose my cool, that I kept waiting on customers. That was nice to hear, but at that point, I felt as if I simply wanted to go curl up in a corner and have a good cry.

Night shift girl was late, as she almost always is, which means I broke late, and I ended up staying late. You know, I could almost feel sorry for her. Night shift is an awful shift. She has a little baby. But the thing is, she hits the door complaining, finding fault with everything anyone else has done. I understand why. She is afraid of getting into trouble herself, so she tries to spotlight the behavior of everyone else, make their job performance seem worse than her own. However, when you have had a pretty awful night, when you are exhausted and just want to go home, it's frustrating, and it is one more thing to grate on already raw nerves. I got very quiet, did my paperwork, and went home. The fact that I was being quiet made her even snottier. I did not address the issue. That is for the manager to straighten out. I'm not going to argue with her about it. I bit my tongue and left.

The world of the 'bottom feeders' (the slang term for people with menial jobs) is not a pretty world. It is competitive and it is mean. I keep thinking of down the road, when I get a good job. I hope that it is not like that.

Only 6 more days and I can read my book. Although now I'm thinking that the LAST thing I want to do is to open another book. Even for pleasure.

PS: I also did a horrible thing at the Good Will. I found an Agatha Christie book, so I tucked it under my arm. I picked up a couple shirts and headed to the check out, and paid for them. I went to my car. I was setting down my things. Much to my horror, I had walked out of the store with that book tucked securely under my arm, still fumbling with my wallet. I never paid for the book! By the time I realized it, back in the car, I didn't have the time to walk back across the parking lot. I had to get to work. I left the book in the car and will go back before work this afternoon to tell them what I did. How embarrassing is that? I really think, sometimes, that I'm the stupidest person I know.

Late edit: yeah. Today's not starting out really great. You ever have a watermelon explode in the kitchen? Ack. Got that all cleaned up and I'm still not at school. Ay yi yi.


Kerry ABOUT ME said...

DO NO beat yourself up about the book. I could spend hours telling you about things I left behind or forgot. I called it mommy brain, then chemo brain and it has never left me yet. Just means you are human like the rest of us. From reading your blog I can tell you wear so many hats and do so many things. I am constantly amazed at how you do it. The fact that work is so hectic and that one girl such a complainer means that your are sticking through it in even harder circumstances. I know I'm proud of you survivor sister for hanging in there through it all. Good luck on the big practical. Blessings,

Kerry Osborne

BUSH BABE said...

Good grief woman... I would hardly call that 'horrible'. Accidental. Not the end of the world by any stretch. You are overworked, overtired and overstudied. Give yourself a break. DEEP BREATH.

You are nearly there. You CAN do it. You will. And then you will have a glass of wine and either read that book. Or sleep. And relax. You deserve it.

Lydia said...

6 days... 6 days... 6days...

You can do anything for 6 days.

And good on you for planning to pay for the book. You will be able to read it without a twinge of guilt. One more reason I love to read your blog, you ARE a woman of good character.

One last note: You are NOT stupid -- overworked, overstressed, steeped in chaos, yes. stupid? nope.

I'm off to Honduras for 10 days on a missions trip with my youth group -- I have to say I will miss reading you while I'm gone! Can't wait to come back and know that you will be all done with your class. :}

Kelly said...

Please don't be so hard on yourself.

Hang in there. Soon, soon. It will be over soon.

I still say they need to revamp the pumps somehow at that store. It's too confusing (for the clerk) the way it works now.

Debby said...

I paid for my book. The girl laughed hard when I told her what I'd done. I paid the 53 cents and felt much better. I went to work. I came home. I should study, but I'm tired. I'm going to bed. I've been short sleeped too much this week.

Jayne said...

I haven't had a watermelon explode, you're so lucky!
*ducks as Debby chucks the watermelon remains in her direction* :P

Mikey said...

Yikes woman! What a nightmare. Go easy on yourself, it will get better. You can do it!! (I keep saying that, hoping it will make it true :)

steviewren said...

Repeat after me...this too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass. My next weekend it will be all over.

Pencil Writer said...

Breathe--as others have said. And remember--one day at a time. THIS is NOT eternity. Just 6 more days. (Or is it 5 now?)

Keep smilin'. We're all here in the gallery cheering for you!

jeanie said...

See, here we slice our watermelon.

(oh, and I had to go back to a shop to pay for what I accidentally lifted a few days ago - I know of which the angst you felt there)