Sunday, May 30, 2010

Sleepless Night

I've been awake since 2:30 in the morning. Spent that time wisely: trying to get back to sleep. It did not happen. I think that I need to give up caffeine. Or at least cut back (she says as she takes another sip of coffee). Anyways, so I was laying in bed, alternately throwing the covers off and then shivering and groping around to pull them back up over me, and my mind was doing the wandering that minds tend to do at o'dark thirty in the morning.

I thought about my friends, especially about two of them who are struggling with major illness. I pray to be useful to them. I think about Mary, who was so useful to me when I was sick, and now she's finished hospice training. I am glad for the people whose lives will be touched by her, because she is remarkable. Yesterday, a friend and her daughter walked over and visited. It was good to see them again. Mostly what was nice was seeing them happy. The bitterness has receded. The divorce is done, and as she makes a new life for her daughter and herself, she's becoming happy again. That made me glad too. It had become hard to be around her, hard to say the supportive thing. Our visit last night was like old times. I thought about Tim and me. I worried about work. (My cigarette count was like 20 packs off, and it's been bothering me. I like to do a good job). So I lay in bed, flitting between yesterday and years ago, from one place to another, from one face to another. Finally the alarm went off, just as I was dozing off.

I'm thinking of giving up caffeine, but this is not the morning to do it.

4 comments:

WhiteStone said...

Good morning, Debby. I seem to have settled into a good sleep pattern, but I fully commiserate with you on sleeplessness!

Naw, don't give up the caffeine. It's one of the benign pleasures of life. Just don't drink any after 1 PM.

*wanders off to the first cup o' the day*

Kelly said...

I'm sorry you had a rough night, Debby. I can definitely relate to that covers on and off business!

rhubarbwhine said...

I have had to cut down severly on caffiene, after the recent little surgery. (I was advsed that caffiene and breast cancer and very highly linked). I have never been a coffee or coala drinker, so decided to cut back on my tea. It's driving me NUTS, didn't realise how much I needed it!!!! (But I do sleep better now)

Jayne said...

Hot milk after 6pm is a nice way to waffle off to the Land of Nod.