Thursday, April 15, 2010

Good Bye

It's been a strange time. Hard time. Things have been up in the air for a while about a great number of things. The dust has settled. Brianna and Buddy came home from Indianapolis to pick up their car and the rest of their things. They got a shock while they were here. Some money that they were counting on did not happen. They are heading back to Indianapolis tonight, to job hunt in earnest. I bit my tongue. My instinct wanted to say, "Do you have enough money? How much do you need?" but I know that money is not what they need at all. So I gave Brianna a shopping bag filled with the makings for tuna noodle casserole, penne w/ sauce, baked beans, peanut butter and jelly, the like. That way, if they get a couple pounds of hamburger, some hot dogs maybe, well, they can eat for a week. I told them that they could do it, that they just had to knuckle down and set their minds to it.

Today, I had to have Buck put down. It wasn't easy. I drove him down by myself, had my time with him to say good bye and then it was done. The vet staff helped me load up my blanket wrapped dog. They assured me that I had done the right thing. I know it. I do know it. However knowing it was the right thing to do doesn't make it any easier. I bawled, and then I got possession of myself, and I drove my dog home for the last time. We buried him in the backyard. Buddy and Brianna were still here. Buddy asked a couple of times if I was okay. "Yes," I said. "It's not an easy thing. That's just how life is sometimes. It's not always sunshine and roses. Sometimes it sucks." I continued digging. Tim pulled at rocks. "You know," I said. "I need you to make it out there. I need to see the two of you work it out together. I need to see you being a team, making a go of it. This means that you'll have to work just as hard as the rest of us. That's life."

They listened, soberly.

I saw them off in their little car. Tim changed the oil for them, and did some repairs on it. I waved good bye, and I cried some more. I gave them Buck's dog food, enough to last their little dog for a few weeks. I gave them groceries and the makings for some meals. We did for them what we could do. I hope they saw the lesson in today. I hope that they understand. I watched them go, and I prayed with all my heart that they begin to look to each other for what they need in this life, that they understand that everything has a price tag, and that you earn what you have. I send them off with my hugs, and my very best wishes.

I did the same for my dog.

20 comments:

WhiteStone said...

Oh, Debby. My heart goes out to you. Saying goodbye to Buck.

And waving as B and B head off to a new location.

I've cried for my dog.
I worry (and have cried) about my kids.

Such is life.

Twain12 said...

good buys are hard!!
sending good thoughts

Mary Paddock said...

Oh Debby. What a hard day. I'm so very sorry about Buck. It is never, ever easy. Never. Give yourself permission to miss him, to cry. Plant some flowers over him if you can. I do hope that B and B find their level place soon.

Mrs.Spit said...

I'm sorry about Buck. It's the last kind thing we do for our beloved pets, but that's little solace.

As for the other B's? They will learn, just as Mr. Spit and I did, the hard way, which will seem a bit sweeter and a bit easier, because there is 2 of them.

Caroline said...

I'm sorry to hear about your dog. It is very difficult to do. Big hugs!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry about Buck too Deb and as Mrs Spit says, it's the last thing we can do for our beloved companions. At least we can, and the lovely memories of the times together stay.

Good luck and lots of commonsense to B&B. You are just so practical Deb - they are all lucky to have you.

Hugs Barb

Pencil Writer said...

It is always a difficult thing to have to put a beloved pet down, or lose them any other way. But, the memories of all that they were and did do help. I've cried more than one bucket of tears over pets. And my children.

I pray that Brianna and Buddy will indeed succeed--as a couple and individuals and in all the ways that will eventually bring joy to them and those they love and come in contact with. Life requires work for happiness. May the Lord bless each of you day by day!

Scotty said...

Sending you a virtual hug from across the pond...

[[[hug]]]

Bill of Wasilla said...

I'm sorry about Buck. It is so damn hard. And here is Royce, headed in the same direction, me looking at him every day, seeing his misery, yet his desire to live, remembering how hard it was with Willow, knowing that in nature's world he would already be gone and then I look in the mirror and see the gray advancing upon me...

Tough as it was, perhaps, indeed, it was just the right thing for Brianna and Buddy to witness as they set out to build a life in the midst of life.

Pam said...

I'm so sorry about Buck, Deb. I do know how you feel since I lost 2 of my precious furkids in the past couple of months. It's not easy, in fact, it's heartbreaking to have to say goodbye to good friends of so many years.

Even with the new pup I still "look' for R2 and Bear. I still tear up with I think of them not being with me.

Mikey said...

Oh man, what a day. Big hugs from over here in AZ. I wish I could be there to do it in person, it's just not the same on here. But dang, you did all the right things today. It does suck, big time. My condolences, of course. Sure wish there was anything better to say.

Jayne said...

(((hugs)))
Thinking of you all at such a challenging time.

corymbia said...

(((HUGS)))

A Novel Woman said...

I'm so sorry.

Lydia said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Buck. I cried over my dog many times (in fact I cried more over him than over my ex-husband....). I guess a true friend is a true friend, and that friend is who you will miss.

Blessings to B&B on this new chapter in life.
L

BUSH BABE said...

Oh dear... I'm tired and emotional anyway (with 8th birthday events) and that sent me right over the edge. Buck. How I love your Buck stories... you should post some links (when you are ready) back to some of them. He was fabulous. And fabulous dogs are wonderful and rare creatures. I feel your pain.

I wish Brianna and her new husband all the very best - a little luck, a lotta love and a heap of hard work - the recipe to success. You are showing the way. You can do no more.

Hugs (as always)
BB

Anonymous said...

Debbie I am so sorry about Buck. I opened your blog otday to see your friday weigh-in news and get inspired by your progress and was not expecting this sad news. I am in tears now as I know how hard it is to make the decision to have this done but know that you did do the right thing and it was the last thing you could do for him and he understood that and loved you .Good luck to the kids and they will be alright you have given them a good insight to life and a solid base to grow on together now. Praying for you in your time of grief and sad goodbyes, your friend Debbie L.

Lori said...

I am so, so sorry about Buck. My heart goes out to you.

jeanie said...

Sorry about Buck - he truly was a ray of sunshine in your life - and therefore in ours.

I do hope this is a true turning point for B&B and today marks the beginning of great things.

I was wondering what sort of Tuna Casserole had Peanut Butter in it, then I woke up a bit more.

Kelly said...

Oh, Debby! I've been gone a couple of days and am just now seeing your news about Buck. I am so sorry! Having just done the same on two occasions in the past couple of months, I can relate to your sorrow.

(((hugs)))

I pray things will go well for the newlyweds, too. They'll make it.