Surprise! I've lost three pounds this week. I guess grief and worry is a good thing if you're watching your weight. Thanks but no thanks. In thinking about it, though, I'd rather walk. Anyways, this bring my total weight loss for the year to 17 pounds. Boy. Did I have to scrounge around to find that. I didn't post the total lost last week (because there was only ounces lost, not pounds). I didn't post at all the week prior. (How did I forget? I've never forgotten before.) Finally, three weeks back, I found it. Man. I write a lot of nothing. Why do you folks keep coming back here? Honestly. Have you no sense?
That young mother from the cancer center? A pastor's wife e-mailed me. She thought she knew her. Bless her heart, she called up the woman and said, "Did you meet a woman at the cancer center..." Her name is Kathy. Turns out she's been unable to stop thinking about me. She gave me her address. Her phone numbers, both at work, and at home. Judy, my friend, e-mailed this information to me and closed with "Do you see God at work in any of this?" Yes. Yes, Judy, I can. Just as He led us to meet. Just as he led new Mary to call all those months ago, because she had read a column. Just as he led old Mary and I to be roaming the halls of Youngsville High School back in 1969, both of us lost and looking for the same classroom. Thank you, Judy. And just as soon as I get my self over my dog, as soon as I take a deep breath and (again) turn my kids over to God, well, I'll give Kathy a call. She does not need an emotional sap calling her out of the blue.
I got another e-mail. A doctor from our small hospital stopped the nice mammogram lady, Cheryl, in the hall and told her about my blog. I've met Cheryl three times now. She really is a lovely person, perfect for the job that she does. It's an interesting point that I'm at. I just don't want to be surprised by things. I want to know. I want to know what other people hear. I don't want candy coating. I want numbers. I want to know what I can do. I don't want to research on the internet. I don't want to be surprised by what I'm reading. I want to talk about 'this is what I'm doing', and I want to talk about what others are doing to keep themselves happy and (hopefully) healthy. I am not one to wait and see. I guess when it's all said and done, I need to know that I've done everything, no matter how small, to fight my best fight. I am losing weight. I am exercising. I am eating broccoli until it comes out of my ears. Is there something else? What do you hear? What else can I do? What do you do? The Cancer Center could provide a plan, or at least give us the information we need to create our own plan. Cancer changes a person's life. Worry that cancer will return is normal. When your fears are dismissed, you feel small and foolish. Whiny, even.
So now I worry about whether or not people are mad at me at our little hospital. It was not meant as criticism. It would be nice if, for instance, people at the hospital said, "Well, this is something that we could do better at..." We shall see, I suppose. We shall see.