You know, I don't understand the psych teacher. We're talking about emotions. She discussed the fact that 'you wouldn't 'retaliate' against a seven foot tall person who calls you an obscene name, would you?' *blink* Really? I said that I don't understand her use of 'retaliate'. To my way of thinking, if someone calls you an obscene name, you would certainly say, "Excuse me, but that is certainly not appropriate, and you cannot speak to me like that." To me, that is assertive, and it is certainly something that you would do. She then made the statement that if the person were in a position of authority, you would not do this. *blink* Really? Yes. Yes, you would. Yes, you should. This would be a violation of the law. If my boss called me a vulgar name at work, I would speak to him/her about this on the spot. She came back with "If you did this in front of others, it would be demeaning to him." I said, "If he called me a vulgar name in front of others, the issue should absolutely be addressed in that very same setting. You're determining how you will be treated by the group." You not only have the right to stand up for yourself, you have an obligation to do so for the sake of the next poor schmuck the boss gets mad at. She claimed that I 'lost' her, that I was not making sense. To me, it is simple. You cannot allow yourself to be bullied. She doesn't understand it because she is, in my opinion, a bully. She likes to intimidate. For the second day in a row, she made the statement today that she can tell whether a person likes her or not by looking into our eyes. And she stood before us scanning the room. And then she laughed and said, "When people look down, you can tell they are trying to hide something." I probably shouldn't have, but I told her that this was an inappropriate conversation, that it did not matter whether I liked her, or whether she liked me. What mattered was that she was there to teach, and I was there to learn what she had to teach. Emotion should not play into it at all. It should not matter in the least. I probably should have kept it to myself, but I am getting increasingly frustrated with her.
I spoke with another teacher today. She could see no place for that sort of conversation in any class room. Two days in a row? She wondered if the teacher was trying to intimidate. I told her that, quite frankly, I'm convinced that this is indeed her purpose. We walked along as she considered it. After a previous discussion, she had done some subtle checking around, and she found that this teacher is a problem, the object of many student complaints. In fact, she's kind of notorious. She again urged me to discuss the situation with the department head. Good advice, probably, but it just seems that if I do, I'm throwing down a gauntlet. Wryly, I tell myself that I've thrown down the gauntlet anyway. I've disagreed with her in the classroom. I've been agonizing about whether I should have said anything at all, but sometimes she's so off base that it just bursts out of me. Anger is a problem for me. When I am angry about something, I always feel nervous and twitchy, as if I have no right to that emotion. Because I am frustrated (and angry) with this teacher, I am feeling ashamed of myself.
Oh. And she finally got the grades up. I'm getting an A in her class. Straight A student.
A straight A student sitting at her computer, having bitten off all her fingernails worrying about today's events.