Monday, March 15, 2010


Last night, I lay in bed wide awake wondering how long I can keep juggling everything. For some reason, it just occurred to me that I was not going to be able to do this. Just popped into my head. I began to worry. I got afraid. I tossed and turned from 1:30 until 4:00, and then fell asleep with strange and bothersome dreams. Then I got up and went to work at the new job. First days are always stressful. The manager is quite laid back and laughed at my nervousness. Now I'm done with work, and I should be taking a nap...but I have school in a couple hours and I'm afraid that if I fall asleep I'll end up sleeping right through it. I imagine that self doubt is normal, but for whatever reason, I find myself thinking that I am in over my head. I'm so stinking tired I really think that I'll sleep like a rock tonight. Which is good. I hit the floor running tomorrow. I've got a psychology test. I've got a meeting with my advisor. Summer classes to be scheduled, and the fall classes after that.

*deep cleansing breaths*

I think that I will be able to relax a little tomorrow night. Unless that is the night we end up working on wedding centerpieces.

I really do not believe that I have ever been so busy in my life.


Bill of Wasilla said...

I just took a walk with Shadow and, although our circumstances are very different, the same sort of thoughts dominated the walk. Sometimes, it feels impossible, but always you just have to take that next step.

Jayne said...

Don't anticipate the whole overwhelming load; just take one step after another.
You're doing great, Debby!

BUSH BABE said...

Tell us about the new job. Or not. Maybe you should just catch a nap instead of blogging? Or not.


Kelly said...

Just remember...those worries in the middle of the night are never quite as bleak by the light of day.

Kelly said...

oh...and I, too, wonder about the new job. Heck, I never knew what the "old" one was!!

A Novel Woman said...

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

Of course, I'd also dip my elephant bites in chocolate fondue, but that's me.

Bob said...

Yes, tell us about the new job.

You strike me as the type of person who can balance a lot of different activities. You also have a good head on your shoulders and you know when enough is enough. You'll know when things are out of balance and you need to take a breather. Just like you knew the old job was not a good fit.

Never anything wrong with taking a breath, and a step back, and getting some perspective.

We're all rooting for you.

quid said...

If you don't want to be this busy, you don't need to be. It may be that "jumping into" all of this is your real world reaction to walking away from cancer. When you are juggling this many things, remember, you don't have to be exceptional at every single thing you do. Succeed to the point where the stress of multi-tasking is not risking your peace of mind.

Great advice from a workaholic,


Anonymous said...

Are you eating well? -having proper meals and getting all your vitamins, minerals and nutrients and so forth?


Mikey said...

I'm hearing ya. Sometimes it's overwhelming. Just breathe deep and remember there's only 24 hrs in a day. You can do it.

steviewren said...

Wait until this semester is over and you get your'll be ecstatic. When the end is in sight it gets harder and harder to keep going, but when all is said and done you'll be glad you did. Hope you did great on the test today.